Babs Shyton ~ party in notorious society divorce case followed by Lucia during her sojourn for the London season. Wife of Colonel Shyton known by Babs as
SP or
Stinkpot. Leading Luciaphil Adele Brixton perceptively conjectured that
poor Babs' case put it into Lucia's head that in this naughty world it gave a cachet to a woman to have the reputation of having a lover . See Colonel Shyton and Woof-dog
Baby talk ~ Lucia and Georgie often spoke an intimate dialect of baby-language with a peppering of Italian words; thus: "
Is that 'oo, Georgino mio? Lubbly to hear your voice again. Come Sta? Is 'oo fatigato? Then 'oo shall rest."It was used to be apologetic, "
Me vewwy sowy!" playful, "
Oo naughty too! " to conceal strong feelings, "
She no likey gramophone at all. Nebber!" and ingratiating, "
How is oo? Me vewwy well sank 'oo".
In this vein, books for example became "
bookie-wookie's" and very difficult, "
dwefful diffy". The habit exposed Lucia and Georgie to satire, as when Elizabeth Mapp archly mimicked Lucia calling to Georgie to ignore her "
belly-pelly", but they normally succeeded in rising above it. See Language.
Bartlett, Evie ~ wife of Kenneth, the vicar of Tilling. Small and often compared to a mouse in terms of her voice, stature and demeanour.
A member of the higher social circle in Tilling and one of several ladies disappointed in her desire to be appointed Lady Mayoress during the term of Lucia as Mayor of Tilling.
Enjoyed a passion for that
deplorable vegetable, the parsnip.
Bartlett, Kenneth ~ husband of Evie and vicar of Tilling, where he resided in Church Square. Although hailing from Birmingham and thus of
Midland English stock, he affected a broad and archaic Scots, Irish dialect or spurious Elizabethan English at most times. His face was knobbly, like
a chest of drawers. A keen golfer, a very competitive bridge player - particularly if playing for money - and active member of the highest echelon of Tilling society
.Like many of his flock, the Padre was a fierce opponent of British Summer Time.
Bravely set off (at his own
ruinous expense in a taxi) in search of Major Flint and Captain Puffin when it was feared that they were about to duel amidst the sand dunes. Fortunately, after an exhausting search, he discovered them safe and sound about to put on the eighteenth green. Extremely fond of dressed crab. See Scottish dialect and British Summer Time
Beaucourt, Dora (Mrs.) ~ guest at certain society parties during Lucia's London season, who had just astounded the world by her
scandalous volume of purely imaginary reminiscences.
Benjamin Flint, Major Retd. ~ a long-time resident of Tilling after retirement from the army where he spent many happy years in India. Claimed he was called
Sporting Benjy in his regiment. Much affected by the time serving the Raj, his home was filled with moth-eaten tiger skins and other memorabilia. Often asserted he had
seen a good deal of shikarri in his time - although not everyone was sure precisely what
shikarri entailed.
His speech was peppered with phrases in Hindustani and the Major was wont to summon his breakfast porridge with a roar of
Quai Hai.
He enjoyed golf and a wager with his old friend and neighbour Captain Puffin with whom he often argued relentlessly over the niceties of play.
Sometimes disagreements grew out of hand, particularly when fuelled by liquor, and on one occasion brought about a
phantom duel which did not take place since both protagonists took flight to catch the London train only to meet at the station and settle their differences.
They shared bibulous evenings over drinks, alternating between each other's homes. This behaviour met with disapproval from their neighbour Miss Elizabeth Mapp who underwent a distressingly frank exchange with Captain Puffin in the foggy street late at night.
The ensuing
froideur between Miss Mapp and Puffin never really evaporated, but Major Benjamin capitulated entirely and apologised.
From this point Miss Mapps' affection for the man only she called
Major Benjy or
Benjy boy grew.
When Miss Mapp was swept away to sea after the deluge at
Grebe, Major Flint found he was the major beneficiary under her will and set about spending some of his new wealth on a car and wine with unseemly haste. Naturally an explosion ensued upon Miss Mapp's miraculous deliverance which only abated after lengthy self-abasement by the Major.
Ultimately, the Major married Elizabeth and they honeymooned in Monte Carlo.
Losses incurred in unwise continued speculation in Siriami shares and general lack of funds ultimately induced the Mapp-Flints to exchange
Mallards for
Grebe and a cash sum.
After marriage, Major Benjy required cunning to continue to imbibe to the extent he preferred, but managed this on many occasions. Sometimes intoxication led to embarrassment, as found with his hand upon Lucia's knee after too much wine over dinner or when induced to visit the local newspaper to horse whip its editor for publishing a less-than-flattering photograph of his good lady wife and instead joined the culprit for a good many drinks and extended an invitation to luncheon.
Major Benjy considered Lucia
a fine looking woman but did not admire some of Mr Georgie's less-than-manly ways, sarcastically referring to him as
Miss Milliner Michael-Angelo.
The Major enjoyed nothing more than a good dinner, a great deal to drink and a few rubbers of bridge and was entirely in thrall to his good lady wife, whom he considered
one of the fairies, God bless 'em.
Beethoven expression~ facial demeanour to be worn in Riseholme and Tilling when listening to Lucia's rendition of the slow movement from the
Moonlight Sonata. With head tilted to one side it was intended to connote rapt concentration, sensitivity, uplift and enjoyment - invariably to be followed by a lengthy sigh.
Beggar maid ~ role somewhat implausibly played by Lucia in tableaux, opposite Georgie's equally improbable King Cophetua
Benjy boy ~ affectionate name used by Elizabeth Mapp-Flint for her new husband, even (and perhaps, particularly) in company: a development of her earlier invention,
Major Benjy.
Benjy's riding whip ~ the leather crop with a silver top engraved with
BF, the initials of Benjamin Flint. By repute, the crop was Major Flint's
most cherished relic since he claimed to have smacked an Indian tiger over the face with it whilst he picked up his gun with which to shoot the unfortunate creature.
Major Flint had impetuously taken the whip with him with which to chastise Mr Connell, the Editor of the
Hampshire Argus for publishing a less-than-flattering snap of his good lady wife, taken by Quaint Irene Coles.
As it happened, the Major swiftly more than overcame his differences with Mr Connell over a good many drinks and returned for lunch with his his newest friend, absent-mindedly leaving the precious crop behind. Ever dutiful, Elizabeth Mapp Flint recovered the crop from the offices, but mislaid it on the way home at Diva Plaistow's tea shop. It emerged that Diva's dog Paddy had eaten all of the crop, other than the engraved silver top. The incriminating top was subsequently buried in the garden at
Wasters only to be accidentally discovered by Georgie Pillson when showing Diva how to plant bulbs.
Georgie carried the top about with him for some time, but later accidentally dropped it onto the desk in the morning room at
Mallards House. During an evening at
Mallards House, Elizabeth Mapp-Flint, sharp-eyed and proprietorial as ever, immediately recognised the top, pocketed it and took it home. Then she arranged for a facsimile of the crop to be created with the original silver top and to the astonishment of those
in-the-know arranged for Benjamin to use the crop for dramatic effect in his colourful lecture on shooting tigers in India.
To
top her, Lucia secretly had a further facsimile of the crop made and then arranged for it to be
discovered behind a cupboard at Diva's tea shop. Again,
those in-the-know in Tilling enjoyed Elizabeth Mapp's discomfiture following the discovery. Their pleasure was increased by the fact that they did
not comment upon it.
Bibelots ~ precious objects kept by Georgie Pillson in a glass-topped case and cleaned regularly and personally only by him. They included a gold Louis XVI snuff box, miniature by Karl Huth, silver toy porringer of the time of Queen Anne, a piece of Bow china and an enamelled cigarette case by Faberge. It was generally understood that he had inherited them (
though the inheritance had passed to him through the medium of curiosity shops) and there were several pieces of considerable value among them.
Sadly, certain of the bibelots were stolen by the fleeing guru prior to his exposure as a dishonest curry cook. The observant Mrs Weston noted that the missing snuff box, cigarette case and Bow china were replaced by a rat-tail spoon,
a bit of Worcester china, a different cigarette case and a bead bag.
Bicycling ~ Lucia first developed a lust for speed following a near-miss with a boy cycling past her in the street in Tilling at break-neck pace. Lucia and then Georgie began to learn to bicycle in the quiet lanes outside Tilling. The phase was not without its mishaps and Lucia had two collisions with the same roadside tar pot - each costing her half a crown in compensation.
Lucia and Georgie soon progressed to practising on the wider expanses of the beach and ultimately acquired new bicycles and rode in public. Their bicycles were
nickel plated, belled and braked and, as befitted the Mayor, Lucia's tool-bag behind the saddle bore the Borough Arms of Tilling.
The couple's cycling debut caused quite a stir in Tilling particularly when Lucia allowed - indeed
encouraged -herself to be charged and brought before the Tilling Magistrates on a charge of cycling dangerously fast in Landgate Street.
She was understood to have ridden at 20 MPH although subsequently this was commonly exaggerated to 30 MPH. Lucia stood down from the bench whilst her case was heard and did not ask for time to pay her fine of twenty shillings.
The case featured with a photograph in the
Hampshire Argus but, although Lucia had instructed Mrs Simpson to inform the Central News Agency, the trial was not reported in the national or international press.
Many others from Tilling's elite joined in the cycling craze which combined well with summer outings and picnics.
Susan Wyse favoured a jaunty tricycle, whilst her husband Algernon could ride using only one hand, leaving the other free to raise his hat courteously to passing friends.
Only Elizabeth Mapp Flint despised the fad, although she claimed to have learned to ride a bicycle
in ten minutes whilst a girl. Mrs Mapp-Flint was greatly upset when the Padre suggested that this was remarkable
for in those days there was only those great high machines which you rode straddle.
Birmingham Gazette ~ Midland newspaper
Blitton ~ town nearby Riseholme. Location of its fire-station.
Blue Birdie ~ the late blue budgerigar or parakeet of Susan Wyse which tragically fluttered off its mortal coil when accidentally sat upon by its mistress. Mrs Wyse assuaged her considerable grief by having Blue Birdie stuffed to adorn her ample bosom or dress her hat.
Unfortunately, its undignified death was compounded when, in a careless moment, it fell into a raspberry souffle at lunch at
Mallards House and henceforth was seen out and about in Tilling with red plumage.
The demise of Blue Birdie affected Susan Wyse badly; she focused all her energies upon seances at Starling Cottage - wearing a voluminous white shift. Here Blue Birdie prompted automatic writing. In consequence Susan's hitherto keen appreciation of the comforts and interests of life, her fur coat, her Royce, her shopping and her bridge were all tasteless to her.
Her concerned husband Algernon was worried that Susan would become unhinged if it continued. To bring matters to a head he removed the corpse of Blue Birdie from its ebony -or possibly ebonite - shrine with white satin curtains - and Lucia filed it in one of her Mayoral black japanned tin boxes labelled "Museum".
Once the corpse had been removed Susan was eventually persuaded by Lucia that Blue Birdie had departed
to the other side and at last found peace.
The corpse of Blue Birdie, thus locked its Mayoral tin box, was found, badly decomposed and reeking of disinfectant and decay, to the horror of Lucia's secretary Mrs. Simpson. By an unfortunate coincidence, this macabre discovery took place just as Susan Wyse arrived at
Mallards House. With Blue Birdie cremating on the fire in the morning room, the smell of burnt feathers permeating the house and the odd blue feather floating down to settle upon the carpet, Lucia swiftly led Mrs Wyse into the garden and successfully distracted her with conversation. Blue Birdie made no further re-appearances in Tilling in bodily or spirit form.
Blumenthal piano ~ an antique piano less fine than claimed by Miss Mapp left in
Mallards during Lucia's initial summer let. Not being to the standard required by Lucia, it was -to the intense irritation of Elizabeth Mapp - promptly removed to the telephone room during her initial stay and a better instrument hired-in from Brighton.
Boaler ~ servant of Lucia and Pepino in Riseholme
Bonstetter, Professor ~ renowned psychoanalyst. Lucia attended a lecture by him on psycho-analysis in the black drawing room at Sophie Alingsby's house. She learned curiously that
if you dreamed about boiled rabbit, it meant that sometime in early childhood you had been kissed by a poacher in a railway-carriage and had forgotten all about it!
Boon ~ sulky, monosyllabic and somewhat
bovine butler of Susan Poppit. Made excellent -and very alcoholic - redcurrant fool.
Boucher, Jacob Colonel ~ resident of Riseholme. After some matchmaking by Olga Bracely, married his friend and neighbour, Mrs Weston - at about the time his manservant Atkinson married Mrs Weston's Elizabeth.
Military in bearing, somewhat brusque in manner and limited vocabulary with much use of
Haw hum,
By Jove, old man and the occasional
Pshaw! Known to hate Georgie's embroidery.
Owner of two bulldogs which he often exercised on the Green, with much throwing of sticks into the ducking pond. Was obliged to give one bulldog away to his brother, since it
always growled so frightfully at Mrs Boucher.
Boucher, Mrs Jane ~ see Mrs Jane Weston
Boxing Day 1930 ~ memorable day upon which Miss Mapp and Lucia were swept out to sea on an upturned kitchen table when the sea defences were breached and a flood engulfed
Grebe.
Boy, small red-haired ~ disguise adopted by operatic prima donna Olga Bracely when she wished to sing incognito, for example in church in Riseholme or amongst the carol singers at Georgie's Christmas dinner party. On each occasion, Lucia referred to "
the small red haired boy who nearly deafens me" and expressed the vehement wish that his voice would "
crack soon".
Brace Mrs. ~ wife of the doctor in Tilling (other than Mr Dobbie, that is). Though Mrs Brace was
not strictly in society, Miss Mapp
waived all social distinctions and spoke to her when trying to obtain details of the sad passing of Captain Puffin.
Bracely, Olga (Mrs Shuttleworth) ~ a famous prima donna of the opera for whom Signor Cortese wrote his new work
Lucretia (sometimes
Lucrezia).
Olga Bracely was in fact her stage and maiden name since she was recently married to Mr Shuttleworth - a cousin of the late Lord Ambermere and whom Georgie, for once rebellious, allowed Lucia incorrectly to address as
Mr Bracely. Confusingly, referred to as
Charlie by Lady Ambermere and
Georgie by his wife.
Olga leased
Old Place in Riseholme and soon became firm platonic friends with Georgie Pillson, who admired her as an artist and
adored her as a person.
She acquired
Old Place secretly as a surprise for her husband using her devoted friend Georgie to oversee repairs, decoration and furnishing. As Olga predicted, her husband was delighted with
Old Place and gave it to his wife as a gift.
Olga freely admitted that she
came out of an orphan school in Brixton but
would much have preferred the gutter. She suggested that Georgie keep this from the snobbish Lady Ambermere, but tell her she belonged
to the Surrey Bracely's - which was after-all correct, since
Brixton is on the Surrey side.Olga entered into social life in Riseholme after making her belated
debut at Lucia's garden party. She arrived late, having felt obliged to finish a post-prandial game of croquet with Georgie, just as many guests were leaving disappointed, but saved the day by performing the
Salutation of Brunnhilde to her own accompaniment - after finding Lucia's efforts as accompanist not quite
up to scratch.
Her many new friends enjoyed Olga's informal
romps at
New Place, which featured children's games. Although several neighbours attempted to reciprocate with their own
romps, they lacked the necessary joie de vivre to carry them off at all plausibly.
Olga was obliged to leave Riseholme to present
Lucretia in America for four months and then in Australia. When asked to accompany her as her guest, Georgie touchingly declared he was unable to take up Olga's invitation:
Because I adore you.
On Olga's return to the country following her tour, Georgie found her as enchanting as ever -particularly when contrasted with Lucia who had grown even more self-obsessed as Mayor of Tilling. By this time Olga had been widowed, but had lost none of her former charm and vivacity.
She invited Georgie and Lucia to her box for a gala performance in London of
Lucretia and entertained them at
Old Place in Riseholme. Olga made a strong impression upon the residents of Tilling when visiting
Mallards House and the ladies of Tilling were inspired by her glamorous appearance to try to improve their own maquillage or make-up.
Georgie attended her house party in Le Touquet, although his visit was made less enjoyable by the unwelcome attentions of the
barbophilic Poppy, Duchess of Sheffield.
At about this time Olga began to work upon Signor Cortese's new opera composed for her,
Diane de Poictiers.
Bridge ~ a favourite pastime in both Riseholme and particularly Tilling. Bridge was the mainstay of much social life and the chief intellectual pursuit.
Considerable debate took place over particular conventions such as majority-calling, rising to arguments over revocations, scores and winnings claimed or owed. The war between Contract and Auction ended with the extermination of the latter, since Contract gave so much more scope for violent differences of opinion about honour tricks, declarations and doublings and strong twos and takings-out, which added enjoyable spleen and savagery to the game.
Schools of thought followed included Culbertson, no club, two clubs and Leeway -which neither its exponent Diva Plaistow, nor anyone else understood. Lucia relied largely on psychic bids.
Tilling did not take kindly to the imposition of rules from any central authority - as evidenced by its only partial adherence to British Summer Time. Miss Mapp witheringly remarked: "I don't know by what right the Portland Club tells us how to play bridge. Tilling might just as well tell the Portland Club to eat salt with gooseberry tart, and for my part I shall continue to play the game I prefer."
Typically, Tilling rebelled en masse when Lucia felt that as Mayor she could not in conscience play for money. Tilling decided it preferred to play for modest stakes and continued to do so without Lucia until Worship's view of the issue had reverted. See British Summer Time.
Brinton ~ town nearby Riseholme. Excellent fresh fish suppliers to whom Mrs Weston sent her cook every week since she did not like the look of the successor to Henry Luton's mother.
Brinton String Quartet ~ awful string quartet that played in the lounge of the Royal Hotel in Brinton after dinner. Aptly described as doleful fiddlers. Embarrassingly mistaken by Lucia for the world-renowned Spanish Quartet at a party of Olga Bracely.
British Summer Time ~ introduced as a wartime measure in 1916, British Summer Time was set one hour ahead of Greenwich Mean Time for a period set by Parliament each year. Between 1930 and 1938, for example, it ran from a date in April to a date in October, providing an extra hour of daylight in the evening and one of the chronic dissensions of Tilling.
With certain exceptions, such as Major Flint and Captain Puffin, most of Tilling, including prominent figures such as Miss Mapp, Diva Plaistow and the Padre, utterly refused (except when going by train) to alter their watches because Mr Lloyd George told them so.
Typically, Quaint Irene was flippant on the subject and said that any old time would do for her. The Poppits followed convention, and Mrs Poppit, in naming the hour for a party to the stalwarts, wrote "4.30 (your 3.30)". The King, after all, had invited her to be decorated with her MBE at a particular hour, summer time, and what was good enough for the King was good enough for Mrs Poppit.
The strength of feeling on the issue locally was illustrated by the following remarks by the vicar, Kenneth Bartlett: "We feel keenly, I know, about summer-time in Tilling, though we shall all be reconciled over that next Sunday, when real time, 'God's time', as I am venturing to call it in my sermon, comes in again."
Brixton, Adele Lady ~ member of Lucia's social circle in London; a leading and perhaps the most perceptive Luciaphil. A cousin of Aggie Sandeman. A lean, intelligent American of large fortune who found she got on better without her husband. As Lord Brixton preferred living in America and she in England, satisfactory arrangements were easily made .
Occasionally she had to see relatives in America and he selected such periods for visiting family in England. Lady Brixton confirmed we blow kisses to each other from the decks of Atlantic liners going in opposite directions, if it's calm and if it's rough, we're sick into the same ocean.
Held a glittering weekend house party towards the end of the season at her country home attended by the Prime Minister, Greatorex the pianist , Professor Bonstetter the psycho- analyst, the Italian ambassador and other members of Lucia's social circle, including Marcia Whitby, Tony Limpsfied, and Stephen Merriall.
The weekend was eventful for Lucia who managed to secure an invitation to lunch at
Chequers, play Stravinski for his most accomplished intepreter, discuss Mussolini with the Italian ambassador, share her views on psycho-analysis with Professor Bonstetter and voice her opinions upon the controversial Shyton divorce case in the presence of Archie Singleton, Babs' brother.
Lucia also contrived to walk entirely innocently but uninvited into the bedroom of her
faux lover Steven Merriall to their mutual horror and embarrassment.
Her stay illuminated the weekend for assembled avid Luciaphils, but was terminated when Lucia received news of Pepino's deteriorating health and returned early to his bedside at
The Hurst in Riseholme.
Subsequently purchased
The Hurst when Lucia departed from Riseholme to make her home in Tilling. After buying
The Hurst Lady Brixton built a swimming pool in the pleached alley in the garden and held mixed bathing parties. At about this time Lady Brixton's brother Colonel Cresswell purchased the neighbouring property of Georgie Pillson on his relocation to Tilling.
Brocklebank, Mrs ~ whilst Lucia was in seclusion feigning influenza to avoid revealing lack of fluent Italian during the visit to Tilling of Contessa Amelia di Fariglione, Georgie hid his own shortcomings in la bella lingua by a week's holiday in an hotel in Folkstone.
During his stay there he met the Brocklebank family, an English father, Italian mother and girl with a pig tail. The mother was teaching the child Italian and set her little themes on which to write. When requested by Mrs Brocklebank to suggest a subject, Georgie brilliantly said "
Let her write a letter to an Italian countess whom she has never seen before and say how she regretted having to put off her musical party to which she had asked the Countess and her brother because she had caught influenza. She was so sorry not to meet her, and she was afraid that as the countess was only staying a week in the place, she would not have the pleasure of seeing her at all."Lucia was able to use the draft which she transcribed in her own hand and had delivered to the luncheon (or rather
breakfast) table at
Starling Cottage just as the start of the meal. The countess was overwhelmed by the beauty and authenticity of Lucia's written Italian and thus was Lucia's linguistic reputation not only saved, but enhanced.
The letter also served to defuse Miss Mapp's disclosure of just having seen Lucia energetically skipping in the secret garden at
Mallards, for since Lucia was now a proven Italianophone she had no need to feign illness to avoid conversation with the contessa.
25 Brompton Square ~ grand London home of Philip Lucas's late Aunt Amy (who once bit him during a visit to her in
hospital ). The freehold house with its large music room was bequeathed to Mr Lucas and occupied for a season by Lucia prior to its eventual sale. Located virtually opposite a smaller townhouse rented by diva, Olga Bracely.
Brunnhilde ~ favourite role of Lucia in tableaux, generally found to be uplifting though Lucia's interpretation was not quite so acclaimed as the operatic role of the same name in which local prima donna, Olga Bracely also excelled.
Burma Corporation ~ company in whose shares Lucia invested from the proceeds of the sale of her stock in Siriami .
Busy indoors ~ phrase employed by Georgie to indicate that he was not available for any form of social engagement. On these solitary evenings, Georgie attended with rapt concentration to the sensitive and very personal business of dying his hair and later his Van Dyk goatee to the required delicate auburn hue.
This occurred about once a month when "
even an invitation from his Queen" (Lucia not Mary one would suggest) would interrupt the business in hand. A faint suspicion of what Georgie was busy indoors about had long ago become public property in Riseholme -and later in Tilling, where powers of inductive reasoning were if anything even stronger. Although none of Georgie's friends talked about the nature of his engagements to anyone else, everybody else knew. Georgie's business indoors, in fact,
was a perfect secret, simply because everybody was quite sure what it was.
On other, more intermittant, occasions the phrase was used to describe other residents of Tilling, such as when Diva Plaistow was absorbed in cutting out chintz roses from old curtains to adorn her day wear.