Mapp & Lucia Glossary

Mapp & Lucia Glossary ~ Introduction

2008-03-18T19:12:00.693Z

Welcome to my Glossary of Mapp and Lucia, a not-very-scholarly, beginner's guide to the worlds of Riseholme and Tilling created by E.F.Benson.

The glorious history of Elizabeth Mapp and Emmeline Lucas, known as Lucia, is set out in six novels beginning with Queen Lucia concerning Lucia's life in Riseholme and then Lucia in London which moves between a season in London and home in Riseholme.

Miss Mapp introduces us properly to Elizabeth Mapp and the charms of Tilling. Our two heroines are magnificently confronted in Mapp and Lucia and their immortal combat continues throughout Lucia's Progress and Trouble for Lucia. The torch was authentically and most enjoyably carried forward in two further Lucia novels in Benson's style by Tom Holt.

As a fan and amateur, I have taken the presumptuous step of exploring the world of Mapp and Lucia with my own stories set in Tilling. They are intended as a tribute to my favourite works by my favourite comic author. Starting with "Inspector Morrison and the Sardine Tartlet Poisoner," these tales come together as a year's cases solved by Inspector Herbert Morrison, Tilling's surprisingly capable senior police officer.

"Inspector Morrison's Case Book" was recently set out in a free blog at http://inspectormorrison.blogspot.com/. If it's not too tarsome, please feel free to click and take a look. To date, remarkably few have ventured to do this, so it's either deliciously exclusive or sadly, already dismissed by some as not quite the thing. Whatever the opprobrium, however, onwards and upwards; "Inspector Morrison: Another Year in Tilling" is already in preparation!

Now, back to the glorious real thing. As well as the main protagonists, each of Benson's locations boasts a plethora of engaging characters ranging from consorts Georgie Pillson and Major Benjamin Flint to supporting cast Daisy Quantock, Olga Bracely, Diva Plaistow, Quaint Irene Coles, the Bartlett's and the Wyses.

Lucia found her new circle in Tilling, "entrancing: they're all being themselves, and all so human and busy."

Life is a maelstrom of lunches and dinners, bridge and planchette, gossip and snobbery. Lucia's world is a unique one of un po di mu, divino Mozartino, Moonlight Sonata, local politics, yoga, bicycling and any number of thrilling diversions watched by Elizabeth Mapp with narrowed eyes, ever resentful of the gross usurpation of her place at the helm of Tilling society and as chatelaine of Mallards.

Born in 1867 at Wellington College, the author Edward Frederick Benson - known as Fred - was the son of its headmaster Edward White Benson, who was later to become Archbishop of Canterbury. After Marlborough and King's College, Cambridge Benson worked in the British School of Archaeology in Athens.

His first novel Dodo was a great success when published in 1893 and there followed a prolific career of eighty books, including the Mapp and Lucia comedies and many other novels and biographies.

Benson lived in the Sussex town of Rye for many years and was Mayor between 1934 and 1937. He appears to have based Tilling upon Rye and Mallards upon his own home there, Lamb House. Riseholme bears some resemblance to Broadway.

Championed by the likes of Noel Coward, Nancy Mitford and W.H.Auden, the stories of Mapp and Lucia have enjoyed a continued following around the world and owe some of their popularity to Benson's lightness of touch and feeling for the nuances of personality and the way middle class English society worked at this time. It is insightful, arch, amusing and uplifting.

In this Glossary I have attempted to cover each material (and often immaterial) character, location and event mentioned in the novels. I have also tried to explain some of the cultural and social references which may have been common-place to a man of Benson's class, education and time but are less familiar to many of us today, to whom Miss Wethered and Sir Sidney Lee may no longer be household names.

To go straight to any particular letter of the alphabet in the Glossary, please just click on the relevant letter in the Archive to the left of this page and hopefully it will open.

I am aware that not every entry is yet in precisely alphabetical order, but it is close-ish to being in order. The technology of Blogger persists refusing to leave a gap between some paragraphs and in transposing sections U and V - however often I try to correct it: they just keep popping back (as Diva Plaistow might say.) For these and any other infelicities, I apologise and crave your indulgence.

Autumn 2010 entries:

Although this blog is dated with its initial publication, it has been expanded each year since its inception. I have again enjoyed my Summer lease in delicious Riseholme and Tilling by courtesy of the six novels. In consequence most existing entries have been amplified. Now that the main characters and locations have been identified in the Glossary, I have been able to concentrate on more minutiae. I have also tried to focus on explaining some of Benson's wide areas of reference - from the classics, bible, history, music, art and poetry to aspects of everyday life in the late 1920's and the 1930's.

The result makes an intentionally eclectic list. Over two hundred new additions include : August stunt, embroidery, Lucia's greatness, Cut-throat bridge, Broadwood, first call, Marble Arch, Dalston's "Manual of Harmony", mermaid's tail, Diva Dalrymple, spirit of Bolshevism, Stravinski, trains, Royal Hotel in Brinton, Veuve Clicquot, L from L, Lifts of London, London Season, shingled, Giaconda, white soul, Yawning York! Saturday till Monday, Collectedness, Waterloo Bridge, Pemberton's Auction Rooms, Love's lilies lonely, Miss Wethered, Mary, Mr. Dabnet, Ye Smalle House, Miss Mapp's kitten, Bluthner, Major Benjy's Diaries, Other fish shop, Friendship's Border, Old Mappy, Helen, Outside porter, Doxology, Lobgesang, Passion, Thermogene, Adam, Sargent, Public Garden, trunk calls, "Beethoven's Days of Boyhood", "Maud", Sir Sidney Lee, Samite, dibs, Town-crier, "How you all work me", Grocer's wife, Plato's "Symposium," Pope's "Iliad", Sigmund Freud, Vanderbilt conventions, argle-bargle, "Women Wrestlers", 4th. August 1914, ironmongers, "Esmondi", hanky-panky, "To Autumn", Schwarm, Curate, toy shop, Rembrandt, Raphael's Sybils, Coue, rodomontade, Whistler, Ananais, Sapphira, Lobster a la Riseholme a la Mapp, Adam and Eve and the Sons of God, Tyro, Vegetable marrow jam, Xmas cards, Dinner-lunch, Picture Palace, Artemis, hornbeam, Achilles, Pre-Raphaelites, Jumna, the Institute, "Little kindly remarks", Charles Kingsley, Shining sands, "The Last Rose of Summer", "Just wait until we come back", Nansen, Stanley, Amundsen, Aristotle, Einstein, Edward Lear, Parish Magazine, Aristophanes, Virgil, Horace, Tishbites, Crippen, Culbertson, Mr Montagu Norman, Vandyk, Diane de Poictiers, Eton crop, "Idylls" of Theocritus, Pater, Tom Tiddler's Ground, Stephen Grellet, the Tilling musical face, the second act of The Meistersinger, Disraeli's first speech in the House of Commons, Twilight sleep, "Health in the Home," "Non semper arcum tendit Apollo", Montagus and Capulets, the Carlisle Holbein, Brahms, Aeschylus, Homer, hypocausts, Agamemnon, Cassandra, Socrates, Pericles, Aspasia, Thesmophoriazusae, Lysistrata, Clytemnestra, tessellated pavement, Commination service, Erda, Wotan, Melchizedeck, Hadrian, Queen Victoria, Wilhelm Richard Wagner, Samian ware, Elijah, Witch of Endor, Samuel, Saul, Festina lente, Dame Clara Butt, Agape, Bourdon, Diapason, Vox humana, Cor anglais, Tristan und Isolde, Parry, Milton, "Pretty Fanny's way", Eight thousand pounds, Theophrastus, Charlotte Bronte's wedding, Zingari, William and Mary, The Polish Corridor, Adolf Hitler, the New American President, Goethe, Seignorial manner, Mayor of Tilling, Ford Place, Catherine the Great, Glazonov's "Bacchanal", Queen Mary, Goths and Vandals, Mrs. Grundy, Botticelli, "Wait and see", Stanley Baldwin, Somerset Maugham, Salome, Pythian Oracle, Conclave of Cardinals, Mayoring Day, Scarlatti, Mussolini, Almack's, League of Nations, Lucullan lunches and dinners, Spartan, Necromancy, Lawrence of Arabia, Battersea Park, the Spice Islands, the Mayoral Banquet, Bicycle picnics, Wigs on the green, Desmond McCarthy, Noel Coward, John Gielgud, Sir Henry Wood, Shikarri, Pyramus and Thisbe, Burlington House, The Chantrey Bequest, the Severn Bore, "Dancing with the daffodils", Lucrezia Borgia, "Kind Hearts and Coronets, " Star Chamber, Sursum Corda, Hosts of Midian, Cara Sindaca, several additional apophthegms and six, even more shocking, infelicities. I do hope they are of interest.

Winter 2011/2012 entries:

Rather later than usual, I have begun my annual visit to Riseholme and Tilling. I hope this time round to include yet more of the the references previously omitted. As previously, any apercus or suggested additions or corrections are most welcome.

Recent additions or material amplifications include:

From "Queen Lucia" ~ Christian Science, Mrs Mary Baker Eddy, the National Gallery, the British Museum, the Royal Academy, Sir Joshua Reynolds, Rubens, Antonio Caporelli, the Venetian School, Torcello, Elzevir Horace, Desipere in loco, Ophelia, Perdita, Walt Whitman, "Loneliness", Nietzche, Weimar, Leipzig, Chippendale, Copenhagen china, River Avon, Benares, Delhi, Beethoven, Contadina's umbrella, Riseholme Literary Society, Bach, Goethe, Rudyard Kipling, otter hunting, clear white soul, Ganges, burning ghaut, Saint Francis, Bayreuth, Tiffin, Pepys, Darwin, spectacles, Bartlett, stocks, ducking pond, epiphany, Hermes, Gamaliel, Hyperion, laudanum, General Confession, Belshazzar's Feast, Mary Queen of Scots, "How happy could I be with either were t'other dear charmer away", Vermouth, "The Voice that breathed o'er Eden", "I attempt from Love's sickness to fly", "Sally in our Alley", "Come, live with me", "A few more years shall roll", Bohemian, Clumps, Cock-fighting, Smoking, "Fidelio", Debussy,  Faust and Marguerite and Mephistophelese and Martha, Madame Blavatski, Cabalistic, Gnosticism, Rosicrucian, Moses, Athene, Zeus, Dante, Inverted fifths and submerged tenths, Sibyls, 15 Gerald Street, Church Road

From "Lucia in London" ~ scalloped, Sympathy, Queen Anne, William III, Beau Nash, "All the perfumes of Arabia," Aldebaran, pyorrhea, "Patens of bright gold," Putney Vale, Praxiteles, "The Funeral March of a Marionette", "unavailing woe," "Sweet Thames, run softly till I end my song", Auction Bridge, "The Winter's Tale", "Long unlovely streets", Joseph, "The very pulse of the machine," William Wordsworth, Chaldean astrologer, King Nebuchadnezzar, Henley,   Hurlingham, Marius among the ruins of Carthage, Schubert, Schumann, stertorous, "Henry VIII", Chekov/Tchekov, Lot's wife, Rousseau, George Sand, Frederic Chopin, Lady Emma Hamilton, Lord Horatio Nelson, "So very little longer", Robert Browning, Galahad, Artemis, "See how the floor of heaven is thick inlaid" , Shylock, Nemesis, "Stars in their courses," Snobbery, Mondaine, Chequers, Dropmore Borage, Scotland , Blue Train,   Queen Charlotte, Gall and wormwood, Carlyle and Mr Robert Montgomery

From "Miss Mapp" ~ Weekly books, Tea, Dinner, King John's treasures, Martha, "Disgrace of Tilling", Italian Renaissance, "Cherry lips", Telephone, Mignonette, Titania, "Methinks thou art forsworn!", Marconi installations, Euclidian postulate, Twemlows, George Bernard Shaw, Clement Shorter, "The Garden of Sleep" (somewhere in Norfolk), Lucifer, son of the morning, Aphasia,  Chocolate cakes, Mendelssohn, "Shot like a streamer of the northern morn,"   "The roseate morn has passed away,"   Housewife of Anak, Epistle to the Hebrews, Wars of the Roses, Washout, Elysian fields, "stale and unprofitable,"  "Children dear, was it yesterday?" , Villeggiatura, "Stained the white radiance of eternity", Infidel poet, "What is true will prevail", Shirley poppy, Ancient Lights, St. Stephen, Mr Stevenson, "Undying coquetry awoke", Odontoglossum, "Tinkling cymbal", "Thinketh no evil, you know! Charity!" Recondite, Rubiconned and The Portland Club

From "Mapp and Lucia" ~ Stunts, Walter Raleigh, Francis Drake, Suttee, "Before the swallow dared and took the winds...", "Come thou north wind, and blow thou south..."   Consequences, Palfrey, Anne Hathaway's Cottage, Plato, Salamis, Pentelicus, Addison, Pope, Pope's "Rape of the Lock,"   George I,  Della Robbia, Quixotism, "There comes a tide in the affairs of men..." , Browning Society,   Ebullitions, "O, for the Wings of a Dove", "The violet crowned.." (Athens), "The hounds of Spring...",   Oberammergau, "As from a cup of hemlock...", Running, Bismarck, Coruscations, Medusa,   Breakfast, Crystal Palace , "It may be better to have loved and lost..."   "Home is the sailor, home from the sea..." Yahoo, Peccavi, Via Dolorosa, Mozart, Kitchen table, "La ci darem" , "Pussie," "Fierce raged the tempest o'er the deep,"  "They were lovely and pleasant in their lives and in their death they were not divided," and "And may there be no sadness of farewell, when I embark..."

            ..... are in preparation and more follow  .....please do bear with...

As an esoteric tea-time treat, here is a copy of the Mapp and Lucia Reference Quiz I originally put on librarything. The twenty questions are based on the batch of entries from 2010 listed above and answers to all are in (almost) alphabetical order in the Glossary. For convenience, answers are also shown in abbreviated form as Appendix 1 at the end of the Epilogue in this Glossary: to go there just click on Epilogue in the Archive on the left of this page. See how many you can answer over a cup of tea, jam puff and sardine tartlet:

Who was Miss Wethered?
What does "lobgesang" mean?
Who was Sir Sidney Lee?
What are the Vanderbilt Conventions?
What is a "schwarm"?
Who was Mr Montagu Norman?
Who said "Wait and see"?
What is a Commination Service?
Who allegedly said "My lips are sealed"?
What is Culbertson?
What does "Sursum corda" mean?
What is "shikarri"?
What was "Pretty Fanny's way"?
What does "Wigs on the Green" mean?
What was The Chantrey Bequest?
Who was Quintus Curtius?
Who was Coue?
What is samite?
Who said "I shall not pass this way again"?
What was the Carlisle Holbein?

As a further tea-time diversion, here is the Mapp and Lucia New Year Reference Quiz 2012 with my seasonal compliments. The twenty questions are based on the batch of entries from 2012 to date listed above, covering only the first two and a half novels in the Mapp and Lucia canon. Answers to all are in (almost) alphabetical order in the Glossary. For convenience, answers are also shown in abbreviated form as Appendix 2 at the end of the Epilogue in this Glossary: to go there just click on "EPILOGUE" in the Archive on the top left of this page. I do hope that the questions are not too facile for learned Bensonistas, but might help while away a cold January day whilst busy indoors or at tea, toying with a jam puff and sardine tartlet:

What is an Elzevir?
What does “Desipere in loco” mean?
What does “scalloped” mean?
What was unusual about the inhabitants of the dovecote at “The Hurst”?
What is a “burning ghaut”?
Who or what is a “Contadina”?
What is “stertorous”?
Who was Hermes?
Who was Gemaliel?
Who wrote “Sally in our Alley”?
Who was Madame Blavatski?
Where does the phrase "All the perfumes of Arabia" come from?
Who wrote "Sweet Thames, run softly till I end my song”?
Who wrote “The very pulse of the machine"?
What links Miss Mapp and Clement Scott?
What have Miss Mapp and King John in common?
What does Pepinos’ late Aunt Amy Lucas have in common with singer and writer Sandy Denny, actors Kenneth More and Daniel Massey, comedian Arthur Askey and J Bruce Ismay, MD of the White Star Line?
What does Fred have in common with Sir Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones?
Who was the “Infidel poet”?
When or where is “The voice that breath’d over Eden” usually sung?

Bona fortuna a tutti!

Over 16,573 page views and 30 Followers:

As at 2nd. February 2012, we have exceeded 16,573 page views on this little blog and now have 30 Followers: how very encouraging. Welcome and thank you, fellow Bensonistas for taking such an interest and everyone who enjoys some of Fred's best and funniest work and has troubled to dip into the Glossary. I am very interested to read any comments by readers and try to publish them wherever possible.

Welcome to the world of Mapp and Lucia! As Lucia might say "Now, let us breathe harmony and loveliness again. We begin together. Now...Uno, due, TRE!"

A ~ is for Antrobus

2008-03-18T19:10:00.337Z

Abfou ~ spirit guide of Daisy Quantock in Riseholme whose messages were manifested in automatic writing via the planchette. His interesting communications prompted the establishment of the Riseholme Museum and popularised planchette as the psychic paraphernalia of choice amongst devotees in Riseholme Society.

So synonymous was he with use of the planchette that his name became a verb and enthusiasts were soon assembling over the planchette to abfou.

All the time firm in the consciousness of Riseholme, but never under any circumstances spoken of, was the feeling that Abfou and Vittoria (as well as standing for themselves) were pseudonyms: they stood for Daisy and Lucia. See Vittoria, Nicostratus, Annabel and Jamifleg.

Achilles ~ reference is first made to Achilles at "The Hurst" in Riseholme. Georgie had called upon Lucia and Peppino intent on following the direction of Olga Bracely to rebuild bridges by  inviting them to dine with him on Christmas Day. Lucia made an excuse to have a private word with her husband and Georgie "waited rather hopefully for their return, for Peppino, he felt sure was bored with this Achilles-attitude of sitting sulking in the tent." Later they returned wreathed in smiles and instantly embarked upon the question of what to do after dinner.

On a subsequent occasion in Tilling, Elizabeth Mapp's relationship with Lucia had deteriorated markedly when Lucia invited all the guests at Elizabeth's bridge tea to dinner at "Grebe" later that evening. This caused her bridge gathering to break up unusually early.

Mortified by this, she had declined all invitations to "Grebe" whilst the rest of her circle spent more time there. Her attitude was then softened somewhat by a generous Christmas gift of a terrine of pate de foie gras. Being a realist Miss Mapp recognised that she needed to forge a rapprochement and that to remain, like Achilles in his tent did not lead to anything.

The reference comes from Homer's Iliad. The Greek hero Achilles sulked in his tent and refused to fight against the Trojans since he felt his honour had been slighted by Agamemnon, commander of the Greek army. When Agamemnon was forced to give up one of his captives, he took away a captive belonging to Achilles which was an insult to Achilles' honour. Achilles refused all pleas to fight until his beloved friend Patroclus, wearing the armour of Achilles, was killed in battle by Hector. This prompted Achilles to return to the fray and slay Hector (and to refuse to return the body to his father King Priam, with manifold results so many centuries and miles away from Tilling that they need not detain us here.)

Adam ~ a picture by Irene Coles called "Adam," which was certainly of Mr Hopkins, the fishmonger in Tilling, (though no one could have guessed) had appeared for sale in the window of a dealer in pictures and curios, but had been withdrawn from public view on Miss Mapp's personal intercession and her revelation of whom, unlikely as it sounded, the picture represented. The unchivalrous art dealer had told the artist the history of its withdrawal and it had come to Miss Mapp's ears (among many other things) that Quaint Irene had imitated the scene of intercession with such piercing fidelity that her servant Lucy-Eve, had nearly died of laughing.

Adam and Eve and the Sons of God ~ during the summer when Lucia leased "Mallards," Miss Mapp took "Wasters", Mrs Plaistow "Taormina" and Quaint Irene Coles, a labourer's cottage outside the town.

During spare moments in her stay, Irene painted a fresco of Adam and Eve with quantities of the Sons of God shouting for joy. On returning to her cottage, the labourer's wife considered the fresco was not fit to be seen and with some hot water made short work of all those naked people. When Irene remembered it had been painted on the wall, she hurried back to save the important work by varnishing it against the inclemencies of the weather, but it was already too late, for the last Sons of God were even then disappearing under the strokes of the scrubbing brush.

There has been considerable debate amongst biblical scholars as to the identity of the Sons of God. There are two common answers. Some have said that the Sons of God were the male descendants of Seth, the third son of Adam and Eve. We know what happened to his siblings and it seems that Seth followed in the footsteps of the godly (but slain) Abel and became an ancestor of a race that preserved their allegiance to God. The second answer is that the Sons of God were angels and it appears that this is what Benson was probably suggesting. It seems very unlikely however that Benson wished his readers to become concerned over the identity of the Sons or unduly bound up in scholastic controversy concerning antithetical parallelism or the implications of unsanctioned and improperly motivated marriages between the godly Sethites and worldly Cainites.

Addison ~ more than a year after the sad passing of her husband Pepino, Lucia remarked to Georgie Pillson that ,"I am beginning to feel alive again." She asserted that just for the present "'I'm off' the age of Elizabeth, partly poor Daisy's fault, no doubt," and that "there were other ages, Georgie, the age of Pericles, for instance." After enthusing over the Greeks, Lucia continued, "And then there's the age of Anne. What a wonderful time, Pope and Addison! So civilised, so cultivated. Their routs and their tea-parties and rapes of the lock."

Essayist, poet, playwright and politician, Joseph Addison (1672-1719) was a renowned man of letters, chiefly remembered alongside Richard Steele as co-founder of "The Spectator" magazine. Rather a polymath, Addison was commissioned to write commemorative verses, was appointed a Commissioner of Appeals, wrote travelogues, tragic and comic plays and libretti, helped found the Kitcat Club, was a Whig Undersecretary of State accompanying Halifax on his mission to Hanover and MP for the rotten borough of Lostwithiel (1708-1709) and Malmesbury from 1710 onwards. See Queen Anne and Pope's Iliad.

Adolf Hitler ~ see Hitler, Adolf

Aeschylus ~ when Lucia and Georgie were being driven by Cadman from "Mallards Cottage" to "Grebe" where Georgie was to stay "secretly" whilst recovering from an attack of shingles, Lucia remarked, "My dear, the sun glinting on the sea! Is that what Homer - or was it Aeschylus - meant by the "numberless laughter of ocean"? An immortal phrase."

Elsewhere the line is translated as "infinite laughter of the waves of ocean." The fragment in question appears to have come from "Prometheus Unbound," a play by the Greek poet Aeschylus (c.525/524 BC - 456/455 BC) concerning the torments of Prometheus at the hands of Zeus. Of the 76 plays he is known to have written, only 7 survive and there is much debate as to the authorship of "Prometheus Unbound" of which the text is lost to us except for 11 fragments preserved by later authors. See Homer.

"A few more years shall roll" ~ On the Sunday morning after Olga Bracely's first "romp" for her new friends and neighbours at "Old Place," Riseholme got up rather late and had to hurry over its breakfast in order to be in time for church. There was a slight feeling of reaction abroad, a sense of having been young and amused, and of waking now to the fact of church-bells and middle-age. Colonel Boucher singing the bass of "A few more years shall roll" felt his mind instinctively wandering to the cockfight the evening before and depressedly recollecting that a considerable number of years had rolled already.

Written in 1842 by the Scottish churchman and poet, Horatius Bonar (1808 -1889), whilst superintendent of the Sunday School at the Church of St James, Leith, it was first sung on New Years Day 1843 and published in Bonar's "Songs for the Wilderness", the following year. It begins:

"A few years more shall roll,
A few more seasons come,
And we shall be with those that rest
Asleep within the tomb;
Then , O my Lord prepare
My soul for that great day.
O wash me in Thy precious bloood
And take my sins away."

Agamemnon ~ when supervising remedial works following her purchase of "Mallards," Lucia outlined her plans to Georgie, "I shall have my books in the garden room: the Greek dramatists are what I shall chiefly work at this year. My dear , how delicious it would be to give some tableaux in the garden room from the Greek tragedians! The return of Agamemnon with Cassandra after the Trojan wars. you must certainly be Agamemnon."

Agamemnon (meaning "very resolute") was the son of King Atreus of Mycenae and Queen Aerope, the brother of Menelaus, husband of Clytemnestra and commander of the Achaeans in the Trojan War, which followed the abduction of Helen, wife of Meneleus, by Paris of Troy. According to the Odyssey, Book 11, Agamemnon was murdered on his return from the war by Aegisthus, the lover of his wife Clytemnestra, who herself slew Cassandra, Agamemnon's concubine, as she clung to him: no doubt a lesson to us all. Lucia did ask if she could double Cassandra and Clytemnestra in the tableau, though quite how she proposed to double the murderer and victim is intriguing - though obviously unlikely to be outwith Lucia's considerable powers. See Cassandra.

Agape ~ social life in Tilling had ground to a complete halt after the dinner party of Susan and Algernon Wyse when Major Benjy had become inebriated and somewhat enamoured of Lucia to the chagrin of Elizabeth Mapp-Flint who unfairly blamed Lucia entirely. At the request of Diva, Lucia broke the impasse by inviting all of her intimes to dinner at "Mallards House." To ensure cordial relations were resumed Lucia made very tactful arrangements for this agape - or love feast. Grosvenor was instructed to start every dish with Mrs Mapp-Flint and offer barley water as well as wine to all guests. Naturally, Lucia's plan worked...until next time. See "How you all work me."

Age ~ delicate though the subject might be, it is disclosed early in "Queen Lucia" that Lucia boasted "40 respectable years " and Georgie a "blameless 45 years."

Mrs Weston's maid, Elizabeth joined her 15 years ago and was now 33 years old. Colonel Boucher's manservant ,Atkinson had been in his service for 20 years, getting on for 21.

Early in "Lucia in London", Daisy Quantock admitted to being fifty-two, whilst Georgie is referred to as forty-eight, although he only admitted to forty-three.

In the first paragraph of "Miss Mapp" it is stated that "Miss Elizabeth Mapp might have been forty, and she had taken advantage of this opportunity by being just a year or two older."

Diva Plaistow was four years younger than Miss Mapp, whilst Miss Mapp was four inches taller than Diva.

When Major Flint informed Captain Puffin that he would be fifty-four next birthday, his friend would not believe it. This was just as well since the Major was in reality fifty-six.

Captain Puffin claimed to be fifty to the disbelief of Major Flint who thought to himself that a dried-up little man like Puffin might be as old as an Egyptian mummy. Who can tell the age of a kipper?

At the beginning of "Lucia's Progress" it was noted that another birthday would knock at her door next month and, if her birth certificate was correct (and there was no reason for doubting it) the conclusion was forced upon her that if for every year she had already lived, she lived another, she would then be a centenarian.

After her marriage to Major Benjy and during her rumoured and very phantom pregnancy, Diva Plaistow estimated that Elizabeth Mapp-Flint was "not more than 43."

Daisy Quantock told Georgie Pillson in a hissing side, probably audible across the Channel, that the Guru (then reputedly of highest caste and utmost sanctity form Benares) had told her he was at least sixty, "and he thinks more, but the years make no difference to him. He is like a boy."     See Fiftieth birthday.

Ahab Crow ~ see Crow, Ahab

Aldebaran ~ On the clear but moonless night in Riseholme that Lucia first outlined to Georgie her plans to divide her time between "The Hurst" and 25, Brompton Square, the company of stars burned brightly. "Aldebaran!" said Lucia, pointing incisively to the spangled arch of the sky,"That bright one. Oh Georgie how restful it is to look at Aldebaran if one is worried and sad. It lifts one's mind above petty cares and personal sorrows. The patens of bright gold! Wonderful Shakespeare!"

The same star was also seen in the night sky by Elizabeth Mapp in Tilling on the evening when she espied Algernon Wyse kiss Susan Poppit in the garden. Aldebaran is by far the brightest and therefore the alpha star in the constellation Taurus. The name is Arabic and translates literally as "the follower" perhaps since it appears to follow the Pleiades or Seven Sisters star cluster in the night sky.   See "Patens of bright gold."

Alderstout, Mr ~ author of "Increase Your Height", a convincing pamphlet championed by Daisy Quantock which indicated that the world was a better place when you are two inches taller. Daisy saw it advertised in a newspaper and sent away for it. Costing only a guinea, it involved only some exercises every morning, rather like those Yoga ones and eating three red lozenges a day. One Of Daisy's sincere but passing enthusiasms.

Algernon Wyse ~ of the notable family, Wyses of Whitchurch. His sister Amelia had married the Conte di Faraglione, of the old Neapolitan nobility. Conte Cecco di Faraglione and his Contessa, Amelia sent bounteous supplies of quails, figs and delicious honey from their estate in ravishing Capri to the Wyses in Tilling - no less lovely in its own way.

Late marriage to Susan nee Poppit MBE. Resided at Starling Cottage in Porpoise Street in Tilling. His clean-shaven face, with abundant grey hair brushed back from his forehead , was that of an actor who had seen his best days, but who has given command performances at Windsor.

A man of almost excessive courtesy and a courtly manner with much bowing and florid expression. Considered such a prig by his sister, Contessa Amelia. Fair-mindedly, Mr Wyse tried to remain above the hurly burly of the disputes that often arose in Tilling; he always refused to be drawn into social crises. On one occasion, however, he did abandon his usual neutrality with regard to social politics and left his tall malacca cane in the chemists, so keen was his gusto on seeing Miss Mapp outside on the pavement, to glean any fresh detail of her part in the alleged duel between Major Flint and Captain Puffin. Resigned from the hanging committee of Tilling's Arts Club on a point of principle when Miss Mapp unilaterally rejected submissions by Lucia and Georgie, but resumed office on Miss Mapp's resignation and immediately offered the position of President to Lucia.

Without being in the least effeminate, Mr Wyse often dressed like a modern troubadour favouring on one occasion a velveteen coat, soft, fluffy mushy tie which looked is if made of Shirley poppies strictured with a cameo-ring, very neat knickerbockers, brown stockings with blobs, like the fruit of plane trees and shoes with a cascade of leather frilling covering the laces. He sometimes wore neat golfing shoes; he looked as if he might be going to play golf, but somehow it didn't seem likely...

Day wear included a black velveteen coat, Panama hat and malacca cane. Evening dress of velveteen dress clothes and a soft, crinkly shirt with a low collar did cause him to look rather like a conjurer. Another favourite evening suit was cut from sapphire blue velvet, with a soft pleated shirt, a sapphire solitaire and bright blue socks. This attire made its debut on the same evening as Georgie's ruby velvet dress suit when the pair looked like two middle-aged mannequins. It elicited the remark from Diva Plaistow, "Aren't the Tilling boys getting dressy?"As well as knickerbockers, his individualistic taste in fashion frequently featured bows at the neck, often in pronounced colours. He also sported a monocle and referred to luncheon as breakfast - particularly when his similarly monocled sister, the Contessa was visiting.

When cycling became the rage in Tilling, Mr Wyse introduced a new style: he was already an adept and, instead of wearing a preoccupied expression, made no more of it than if he was strolling about on foot. He could take his hand of his handle-bar to raise his hat to the Mayor, as if one hand was all he needed. Mrs Wyse, on the other hand, favoured a stylish tricycle. See Susan Wyse, Chesterfield terms, Hanky-panky.

Alingsby, Sophy(Mrs.) ~ a weird bright young thing, a member of Lucia's social circle during her season in London. An avid Luciaphil and keen post-cubist.

Tall, intense and dressed like a bird of paradise that had been out in a high gale, but very well-connected. She had long straight hair that fell over her forehead and sometimes got in her eyes and wore a scarlet jockey-cap with an immense cameo on the front of it

She was ultra modern in art and hated all art that was earlier than 1923 and a considerable lot of what was later. In music, she was primitive and thought Bach decadent. In literature, her taste was for stories without a story and poems without metre or meaning.

She had collected about her a group of interesting outlaws, of whom the men looked like women and the women like nothing at all. Though nobody ever knew what they were talking about, they themselves were talked about.

Loathed dogs and took a particular dislike to Lady Ambermere's Pug whilst visiting The Hurst. Considered Lady Ambermere a crashing old hag. Following her weekend at The Hurst was regarded by residents of Riseholme as a "Yahoo".

Lucia's general opinion of Sophy was that she might be useful up to point, for she certainly excited interest.

All the perfumes of Arabia ~ Lucia stood next to the Elizabethan spit in "The Hurst," giving it the odd twirl and outlining to Georgie her plans to divide her time between Riseholme and 25, Brompton Square, recently inherited by Pepino from his late lamented (and indeed, demented) Aunt Amy. There had been a leg of mutton roasted on it last May Day, while they all sat round in stomachers and hose, and all the perfumes of Arabia had hardly sufficed to quell the odour of roast meat which had pervaded the room for weeks afterwards.

The line "All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand " comes from Act V, Scene 1 of Shakespeare's "Macbeth."

Almack's ~ Diva Plaistow's "Ye Olde Tea House" grew successful within a short time of its opening incognita by the Mayor of Tilling, Lucia. Those entertaining friends found it convenient to order teas at Diva's and then find the card room ready for a rubber or two. As Algernon Wyse expressed it, "Ye Olde Tea House became quite like Almack's."

Almack's Assembly Rooms was a fashionable social club in King Street, St James's in London from 1765 to 1871. Entirely respectable, its balls played a key part in the Season; it held great social cachet and exclusivity and was one of the first establishments to admit both sexes. Thus the courtly Mr Wyse's genteel allusion was not far off the mark.

Almond trees ~ Lucia's munificence towards Tilling from the proceeds of her successful financial career in share dealing, under the guidance of her broker Mammoncash, extended to funding the planting of more than fifty late-flowering almond trees. The plantation was intended to cover the bare bank of land above the newly finished road from the south which curved round the bottom of the hill on which Tilling stood, rising to the line of its ancient wall and its landmark Norman tower.

Lucia looked forward to seeing a "foam of pink blossom for la bella Primavera." After planting Elizabeth Mapp-Flint predictably considered the "poor almond trees sad and pinched" and with "hardly a blossom on them." She helpfully enquired if they "weren't the flowering sort" and whether they would "get acclimatised after some years."

Typically, Lucia responded firmly that "They're coming out beautifully", that she had "never seen such healthy trees in all my life" and that "By next week they will be a blaze of blossom. Blaze." See Steps.

Alton, Herbert : prominent society caricaturist, who captured and exhibited Lucia and Pepino during their season in London. He was a licensed satirist, and all London always flocked to his show to observe with glee what he made of them all , and what witty and pungent little remarks he affixed to their monstrous effigies. It was a distinct cachet, too, to be caricatured by him, a sign that you attracted attention and were a notable figure. He might (in fact, he always did ) make you a perfect guy, and his captions invariably made fun of something characteristic, but it gave you publicity. Somewhat unusually, Lucia commissioned Herbert Alton at a handsome price to execute caricatures of herself and Pepino, with the proviso that they were exhibited publicly at the little Rutland Gallery.

Pepino's caricature featured him in the knee breeches of levee dress, tripping over his sword, entangled with his legs, with a cocked hat on the back of his head. With his eyes very much apart, no nose and a small agonised hole in his face for a mouth, he was supposed to be saying "At whatever personal inconvenience, I must live up to Lucia".

Lucia was shown with a pile of unopened letters on the floor and on the table. It bore the legend "Oh, these duchesses! They give one no peace!" There was not much of her face to be seen for she was talking into a telephone. Her skirt and shingled hair were very short and there was a wealth of weary resignation in the limpness of her carriage.

Mistakenly called Bertie or even Bobbie by social-climbing Lucia - a gaffe spotted by the acute Adele Brixton.

Amadeo ~ spirit guide of Daisy Quantock's psychic medium, Princess Popoffski. He was a Florentine and knew Dante quite well.

Ambermere Arms ~ public house and hotel in Riseholme run by Mr Stratton. It operated also as Riseholme's antique shop and sold much furniture and many historic artefacts and objets to visiting tourists - often American.

Lady Ambermere, Cornelia ~ formidable grand dame of Riseholme, who looked down on the world through her tortoiseshell-handled lorgnette. Resided at The Hall with downtrodden companion, poor Miss Lyall and the neurotic Pug. Her late husband Lord Ambermere was a cousin of Olga Bracely's husband, Charlie/Georgie Shuttleworth and a second cousin of Georgie Pillson's mother, who was a Bartlett. He was formerly Governor of Madras and Lord and Lady Ambermere spent many years resident in India. According to Lady Ambermere - somewhat majestically - "the late lord had some Russian relations."

Imperious in manner and entirely self-obsessed, firmly believing that all who met her enjoyed the privilege it entailed. She walked stiffly, with her nose in the air, as if suspecting and not choosing to verify, some faint unpleasant odour. Her speech patterns were thoroughly Ambermerian: everybody in Riseholme had a "little house" compared with the Hall: everybody had a "little garden". Equally Ambermerian was her complete confidence that her wish was everybody else's pleasure. Honoured Lucia by attending her garden party at The Hurst with Miss Lyall and Pug, but left before the tardy, croquet-delayed arrival of diva Olga Bracely and missed her performance before a delighted audience of Riseholmeites in the smoking room.

Olga Bracely irreverently called her The Parrot and referred to that great hook nose of hers - daringly adding I'm always afraid that in an absent moment I might scratch on her head and say, "Pretty Polly". Insultingly described by Sophy Alingsby as a crashing old hag. Sophy also loathed all dogs, including Lady Ambermere's Pug, causing her to exclaim, "I can't bear dogs. Take that dog away, dear Lucia. Burn it, drown it!" Upon this Lady Ambermere left immediately and pointedly ignored Mrs Alingsby.

According to Lucia, Lady Ambermere might have a Roman nose, but she hadn't any manners.

Was disposed to lend an antique pair of mittens allegedly owned by Queen Charlotte to the recently established Museum in Riseholme and submitted an excessive claim for £50 compensation when they were destroyed in the subsequent unfortunate conflagration. Lady Ambermere received a counter-offer of ten shillings and sixpence in final settlement.

Was also shocked when Lucia informed her that the Committee of Riseholme Museum declined her offer of a glass case containing the stuffed remains of her recently deceased lap dog, Pug.

Amelia di Faraglione, Contessa ~ wife of Count Cecco di Faraglione of Capri and sister of Algernon Wyse.

Tall, lean, sporting a single eye glass on a string, which was apt to fall into her soup, vivacious and good humoured - also commonly talked with her mouth full and drank a great deal of wine. At dinner, would often maintain a fervid monologue and occasionally address remarks in shrill and voluble Italian always with a Southern extravagance of expression.

Prone to the occasional gaffe. Confident aristocratic demeanour, flirty and with a surprisingly broad sense of humour for someone of her station. Although the Countess tended to confuse the names of the various members of Tilling society, she took great interest in their affairs which extended to matchmaking: We must have more marriages in Tilling.

The somewhat tropical Italian remarks by the Countess to Major Flint - whom she regarded as the Lothario of the tiger skins, like a pink walrus and my flirt - at dinner and an invitation to tea a deux, prompted in Miss Mapp a certain jealousy which it can be argued played a part in firming Miss Mapp's resolve to develop her relationship with the unsuspecting Major. Very sophisticated continental views on certain subjects, such as her husband's mistress of many years - such a good-natured, pretty woman.

On departing from Tilling went away with the Poppits and Mrs Wyse to spend Christmas and the New Year with the Wyses of Whitchurch. Later, kindly supplied Faraglione honey from Capri to Mrs Mapp-Flint when erroneously under the impression that she was with child. See Algernon Wyse and Smoking.

America cloth ~ Lucia and Georgie were practising the "Moonlight Sonata" in Tilling church in readiness for the recital during the service of dedication of the organ, rebuilt at Lucia's expense: "the plaintive throaty bleating of the vox humana was ennervatingly lovely, and Lucia's America-cloth eyes grew veiled with moisture." America(n) cloth is a cotton cloth with a glazed or waterproofed coating. It seems the normally controlled and immovable Lucia was on this rare occasion moved to a brief ocular moistness.

Amundsen ~ when preparing her discourse "A modern Odyssey" concerning her adventures on the Gallagher Bank, Lucia proposed "to make some allusion to Nansen, and Stanley and Amundsen, who have all written long books about their travels and say that as I do not dream of comparing my adventures to theirs, a short verbal recital of some of the strange things that happened to me will suffice." Roald Engelbregt Gravning Amundsen (1872 - 1928) was a Norwegian polar explorer who led the first Antarctic expedition to reach the South pole between 1910 and 1912. He was also the first person to reach both the North and South poles and traverse the North west Passage.

Amy, Lucas, Aunt ~ late aunt of Philip Lucas who bequeathed him her large estate, including a furnished London townhouse, 25 Brompton Square. Reputedly, the subject of an acclaimed full length portrait by Sargent and owner of a set of pearls, some Chinese Chippendale chairs and fine Queen Anne furniture. Departed this mortal coil at the age of 83. Her funeral took place at Putney Vale.

Institutionalised in a private lunatic asylum in later years, although this was always referred to by the family as a nursing home. Understood to have bitten her nephew during his final very rare visit, which required his arm to be in a sling for a week afterwards and gave rise to a fear of blood poisoning.

Lucia in full mourning and faltering very visibly, remarked implausibly that the death came as a terrible blow and improbably that she and Pepino had hoped that Auntie Amy might be spared us for a few years yet.

Following the death of Aunt Amy, both Georgie and Daisy Quantock undertook separate calculations of the possible net worth and resultant income from the estate. Taking into account the house, understood to be in Knightsbridge in walking distance of Harrods and allowing for either freehold or leasehold tenure, rates, taxes, caretaker's wages, nursing home or private asylum fees of at least £15 per week but ignoring the family pearls, Georgie arrived at a capital sum of not a penny less than fifty thousand pounds and income at two thousand six hundred. From her calculations, Daisy had arrived at two thousand five hundred pounds, whilst Robert Quantock correctly guessed three thousand pounds - which Lucia admitted would, in fact, double their income.

Anak, Housewife of ~ see Housewife of Anak.

Ananais ~ see Sapphira

Ancient Lights ~ nickname applied by Captain Puffin to Miss Mapp, reflecting her regular monitoring of the nocturnal activities in their homes of himself and Major Flint from her window in "Mallards".   In English property law, the right of a building or house owner to the light received from and through his windows was called "Ancient Lights". The rule of law originated in 1663 and was developed under the Prescription Act 1832. Basically, neighbours cannot build anything that would block the light without permission, where there has been 20 years of uniniterrupted daylight. Monitoring the acquisition of such rights often involved lengthy, unremitting observation - not unlike Miss Mapp's vigilant spying upon her neighbours' nightly study of old diaries or Roman roads.     See "Old Mappy."

"And may there be no sadness of farewell, when I embark" ~ Georgie Pillson was considering a suitable inscription for a tablet to be affixed upon the recovered kitchen table which had borne Lucia and Miss Mapp out to sea when "Grebe" was flooded. He discounted various alternatives, since they either suggested "This was the house that Jack built" or a nursery rhyme by Edward Lear or might indicate to future generations that they were sailors or were just too prolix. He wondered if poetry would supply anything, and the lines,"And may there be no sadness of farewell, when I embark" occurred to him. That however would not do, since people would wonder why she embarked upon a kitchen table and even now,when the event was so lamentably recent, nobody actually knew.

The lines quoted by Georgie come from the poem "Crossing the Bar" by Alfred Lord Tennyson, which was written in 1899, three years before he died and describes a placid and accepting attitude towards death.

Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;

For tho' from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crossed the bar.

See "Maud","Long unlovely streets" and "It may be better to have loved and lost..."

Annabel ~ spirit guide of Piggy Antrobus during the visit of Princess Popoffski to Daisy Quantock and automatic writing was all the rage in Riseholme. See Nicostratus and Jamifleg.

Anne, Queen ~ Lucia described to Georgie the property of Pepino's late Aunt Amy, 25 Brompton Square near Harrods, which had been left to her nephew with the rest of her estate. The contents included "beautiful Queen Anne furniture", including a walnut bureau (one of those tall ones which let down in front with original handles in the drawers.)

Elizabeth Mapp's secret garden at "Mallards" featured a little paved walk, flower beds and a pocket handkerchief of a lawn, and in the middle a pillar with a bust of good Queen Anne - picked up in a shop in Tilling on one of Miss Mapp's "lucky days."

Late Baroque, Queen Anne style furniture developed in the reign of the last monarch of the House of Stuart, Queen Anne ( b. 1665, reigned 1702- 1714)  a smaller, lighter and more comfortable style reflected in increasingly practical pieces emphasising line and form above ornament. Furniture of the period often featured curvilinear lines, cabriole legs, cushioned seats and wing back chairs.

Anne Hathaway's cottage ~  in "The Hurst," her ultra-Elizabethan abode in Riseholme, "Lucia seated herself in a chair that so easily might have come from Anne Hathaway's cottage, though there was no particular reason for supposing that it did."

In Shottery, a mile or so to the west of Stratford-upon-Avon, stands the former childhood home of Anne Hathaway, the wife of William Shakespeare, known as "Anne Hathaway's cottage". It is, in fact, a spacious timber-framed farmhouse in the vernacular Tudor style with multiple chimneys, 12 rooms and several bedrooms, set in extensive gardens and furnished with original Elizabethan furniture and fittings of even greater authenticity and exquisitensss than those gracing "The Hurst."

Antrobus, Mrs ~ long-time resident of Riseholme and neighbour of Lucia. Described as having a ham like face and an ear trumpet. It was like the trunk of a very short elephant, and she waved it about as if asking for a bun. Sometimes - confusingly - "Arbuthnot".

Mother of two athletic daughters Goosie and Piggy, past the first flush of youth. Later became so deaf that even the most expensive ear trumpet was of no use. Once used a wonderful new apparatus - not an ear trumpet at all. It involved biting on a small leather pad which allegedly enabled her to hear everything perfectly. She then took it out and answered and put it back in again to listen.

According to Mrs Weston, it was on a Friday she married and within a year she got as deaf as you see her now. Subsequently, Mrs Antrobus mastered the deaf and dumb alphabet. In a display of impeccable manners, many other Riseholme residents learned it too in time for her birthday party, so that Mrs Antrobus could understand what was being said.

Antrobus, Goosie ~ sister of Piggy, often seen capering about the Green in Riseholme, jumping over the stocks in a playful way and generally romping, or indeed frisking, about. The sisters never walked like other people: they skipped and gambolled to show how girlish an age is thirty-four and thirty-five. After the dramatic destruction of Riseholme Museum by fire, the sisters even contrived to skip over the smouldering heaps of ashes.

This girlish athleticism was intended to capture the attention of available bachelors. Initially their attention was turned to Georgie Pillson, but their nimble movements did not remotely succeed in capturing his affections. Subsequently the same approach was adopted towards Colonel Boucher with similar lack of response, though perhaps for different reasons.

Antrobus, Piggy ~ gauche sister of Goosie Antrobus. On seeing Georgie on the Green in Riseholme proudly wearing his new and voluminous Oxford trousers, Piggy burst into a squeal of laughter and cried irritatingly , "Oh, Mr Georgie, I see you've gone into long frocks". Whilst Lucia was away in London, Piggy told Georgie she Wanted to do some duets upon the piano, but Georgie responded "No, thanks."

On another occasion a note had announced to Georgie that Piggy was going to call and hoped to find him alone. This induced such agitation that Georgie summoned Foljambe with his special emergency call of three urgent rings on his bell, only ever used in case of calamity. The one other time three rings were given was when Georgie was imperilled by a fish bone stuck in his throat.

Aphasia ~ Major Flint and Captain Puffin were enjoying a far from harmonious round of golf. Tired of the game, the Major eventually sat down in a bunker with his back to the Captain and lit a cigarette. After several unsuccessful strokes, the Captain's ball hit the Major's boot, whereupon Puffin claimed the hole.

Deeply offended at this perceived opportunism, Major Flint had a short fit of aphasia. He opened and shut his mouth and foamed.

Aphasia is an impairment of language ability, ranging from difficulty in remembering words, to the complete inability to speak - as in the Major's case. It can develop quickly as the result of head injury or stroke, or more slowly from a brain tumour, infection or dementia. It can be a learning disability, such as dysnomia, or, as in Major Flint's case, assumed with great theatricality and petulance, to convey personal offence and make a point.

Apophthegms ~ Lucia delighted in devising (or appropriating) and expounding apophthegms with the certain expectation that they would do the rounds of Riseholme or Tilling next day.   Lucia's eloquent well-ordered sentences had nothing impromptu about them; what she said was evidently all thought out and probably talked out. Examples included:

My dear, it is just busy people who have time for everything.
This Riseholme life with its finish and its exquisiteness spoils one for other places.
London is like a railway station: it has no true life of its own.

There is in London a certain stir and movement which we lack here
Why, only yesterday, I said to Pepino that those months we spent in London seemed a holiday compared to what I have to do here.
Perhaps we get too sensitive here where everything is full of harmony and culture, perhaps we are too much sheltered

If I followed my inclination I would never leave our dear Riseholme for a single day. Oh, how easy everything would be if only one followed one's inclination!

What slaves some people are to their servants.

If being busy was a crime, I am sure there are few of us here who would 'scape hanging.

You know my views about music, and the impossibility of hearing music at all, if you are stuck in the middle of a row of people.

A musical composition is like an architectural building: it must be built up and constructed. How often have I said that! You must have colour, and you must have line, otherwise I cannot concede you the right to say you have music.

Very little art can 'stand' daylight: only Shakespeare and Dante and Beethoven, and perhaps Bach, can compete with the sun.

You know how I hate display. Shakespeare was content with the most modest scenery for his masterpieces, and it would be a great mistake if we allowed ourselves to be carried away by mere wasteful opulence.

Art is not advanced by romping, and we are able to enjoy ourselves without two hundred caviar sandwiches being left over.

It is only in loneliness, as Goethe says, that perceptions put forth their flowers.

Is it not Goethe who says that we ripen in solitude?

Tranquility comes with years, and that horrid thing which Freud calls sex is expunged.

So many pictures have been ruined by being varnished too much.

Safety first, always.

I count it a privilege to be able, in my position, to set an example.

The B.B.C., I don't deny, is doing good work, but lectures delivered viva voce are so much more vivid. Personal magnetism.

Jewels are vulgar, except at night.

Dear Daisy is too short-sighted to see how short-sighted she is.

To the lover of Beethoven gramophones are like indecent or profane language loudly used in a public place

Isn't Debussy the man who always makes me want to howl like a dog at the sound of the gong, and wonder when it's going to begin?

Wagner is totally lacking in knowledge of dramatic effects.

Psychics hate a crowd, because it disturbs the influences

It is a mistake to remain in the same waters too long. There comes a tide in the affairs of men, which, if you don't nip it in the bud, leads on to boredom

What would life be without sunsets? And to think that this miracle happens every day, except when it's very cloudy!

After all, it isn't the years that give the measure of one's age, but energy and capacity for enterprise. Achievement. Adventure.

I rather like to see people a little, just a little squiffy at my expense. It makes me feel I'm being a good hostess.

I consider it is a disgrace to be tired.

Always be busy: work, work, work.

Always appreciate, always admire.

I will not have one law for the rich and another for the poor in Tilling

You can't get people to believe what they won't believe by telling them that it's true.

As you know, I am a real salamander, the sun is never troppo caldo for me

London is where people sit in the Park all morning and talk of each other's affairs, and spend the afternoon in picture galleries and dance all night. There is a lazy, flippant existence.

Everything impromptu must just be sketched out first.

I have often noticed that two people without any sense of humour find each other most witty and amusing.

A sense of humour, I expect, is not a very common gift.

I should be miserable if I thought I had even sat with a medium who was not honest.

There is something so primitive about the flute. So Theocritan!

What is it that Rousseau - is it Rousseau? - says, about our not being wholly grieved at the misfortunes of our friends?

Our friendship is just perfect as it is

Georgino! I believe she wants to run me. I believe Tilling is seething with intrigue. But we shall see. How I hate all that sort of thing!

We have had a touch of it now and then in Riseholme. As if it mattered who took the lead! We should aim at being equal citizens of a noble republic, where art and literature and all the manifest interests of the world are our concern.

We must open out, and receive new impressions, and adjust ourselves to new conditions!

I have fallen in love with this dear Tilling, and I fully expect I shall settle here for good.

She was malicious and that never pays.
There was a coarse fibre in the Tudors, as I have always maintained.

I think it is a duty laid upon those who have been privileged to pass unscathed through tremendous adventures to let others share, so far as possible, their experiences.
I have always maintained that Aristophanes is the most modern of writers, Bernard Shaw, in fact, but with far more wit, more Attic salt.
If I might choose a day in all the history of the world to live through, it would be a day in the golden age of Athens. A talk to Socrates in the morning; lunch with Pericles and Aspasia: a matinee at the theatre for a new play by Aristophanes: supper at Plato's Symposium. How it fires the blood!
the labourer is worthy of his hire
I want - how can I put it - to be a fairy godmother to the dear little place.
I never hedge. One thing or the other.
Poor thing! Like all habitual liars, she deceives herself far more than she deceives others.
Nobody shall be able to say of me that I caused splits and dissensions. "One and all," as you know, is my favourite motto.

Apollinaris bottle ~ in the archaeological excavations in the garden following her acquisition of Mallards House Lucia came across a large and iridescent piece of glass stamped with the letters "APOL".
Lucia immediately jumped to the conclusion that the fragment was part of a sacrificial vessel from the Temple of Apollo that she suspected was located under the site. Her hopes were cruelly dashed when she came across further shards with the remaining letters "LINARIS".

Rather than cast further light upon her error, Lucia immediately terminated the excavation and had the holes well stamped down. She cancelled further press coverage and the planned visit from Professor Arbuthnot of the British Museum.

She did however display upon her piano certain artefacts of varying antiquity from locations other than her garden, but never troubled to dispel the illusion that they had been found there.

Arbuthnot, Mrs. ~ see Antrobus

Arbuthnot, Professor ~ expert in Roman antiquities whose visit to examine the finds in the dig in the garden at Mallards House was summarily cancelled when Lucia sadly realised they were fragments of drain pipes and modern glass bottles

Ardingly Park ~ country house near to Tilling where the Prince of Wales spent one summer weekend. He was understood to have travelled to the area by train disembarking in Tilling and to have spent an enjoyable afternoon playing golf on its links. Next day His Royal Highness spent an unhurried and undisturbed morning enjoying the sights of Tilling.

Argle-bargle ~ when proposing a committee of three to put in hand arrangements for the fete to be held during her Summer lease by Lucia at "Mallards" in aid of Tilling hospital, the Padre commented that three was "sufficient for any committee that is going to do its work without any argle-bargle". This is another word for argy-bargy: a wrangling argument or verbal dispute - from the Scottish, compound based on dialect argle, probably from argue.

Aristophanes ~ in the first paragraph of "Lucia's Progress" Lucia is reported to have spent a busy morning divided about equally between practising a rather easy sonata by Mozart (a change from the Moonlight) and reading a rather difficult play by Aristophanes. There was the Greek on one page and an excellent English translation on the page opposite, and the play was so amusing that today she had rather neglected the Greek and pursued the English. Son of Philippus, Aristophanes (c.446 - 386 BC) was a prolific and acclaimed comic playwright. Eleven of his forty plays survive virtually complete and include "The Clouds" and "The Knights."

Later,when Lucia had acquired "Mallards" and was planning tableaux to be presented in her new home, she wondered about a scene from Aristophanes. She had begun the Thesmophoriazusae a few weeks ago: about the revolt of the Athenian women, from their sequestered and blighted existence. They barricaded themselves into the Acroplis, exactly as the Pankhursts and the suffragettes padlocked themselves to the railings of the House of Commons and the pulpit in Westminster Abbey.

Lucia's comments are somewhat perplexing since she appears to be describing the plot not of "Thesmophoriazusae" (or "Women's Festival") but of "Lysistrata", another play by Aristophanes in which the Athenian women do barricade themselves into the Acroplis - and (unlike the Pankhursts, one understands) obtain their objectives by the withdrawal of sexual favours from their menfolk. It is unclear whether this is a joke by Benson at Lucia's expense to demonstrate the thinness of her erudition or an infelicity?

Lucia averred that she "always maintained that Aristophanes is the most modern of writers, Bernard Shaw, in fact, but with far more wit, more Attic salt. If I might choose a day in all the history of the world to live through, it would be a day in the golden age of Athens. A talk to Socrates in the morning; lunch with Pericles and Aspasia: a matinee at the theatre for a new play by Aristophanes: supper at Plato's Symposium. How it fires the blood!" See Socrates, Plato, Bernard Shaw, Pericles and Aspasia and wind-egg

Aristotle ~ when Lucia was discussing her feverish work to write "A modern Odyssey", her discourse upon her adventures on the Gallagher Bank to be delivered at the Tilling Institute, she told Georgie, "it has been terrific work, but I had to rid myself of the incubus of these memories by writing them down. Aristotle, you know; the purging of the mind."

Aristotle (384 -322 BC) was a Greek philosopher, student of Plato and teacher of Alexander the Great. His wide-ranging writings include morality, aesthetics, logic, science, philosophy, politics and metaphysics. Although not clearly defined, the term catharsis or purging was used in a philosophical sense to describe the effect of music and tragic drama on an audience, such as that it cleansed the spectators of emotions such as pity or fear, as they observe the actions of the characters on stage, leaving them calmer and in better mental equilibrium.

Armaud ~ marque of Georgie's motor car.

Art, sword and shield of ~ Lucia was always very busy of a morning in polishing the sword and shield of Art, in order to present herself daily to her subjects in shining armour, and keep a little ahead of them all in culture, and thus did not as a rule take part in the parliamants on the green in Riseholme.

Art Club Exhibition ~ art works by the citizens of Tilling were displayed in an annual exhibition each summer. The hanging committee initially comprised Miss Mapp and Mr and Mrs Wyse.

On one occasion eyebrows were raised when Miss Mapp unilaterally rejected submissions by newcomers Lucia and Georgie without consulting her fellow committee members; the intentional slight was subsequently rectified and the works in question displayed prominently on free-standing easels.

On Miss Mapp's resignation from the committee when her conduct came to light, Lucia was appointed President of the Club. On her appointment, Lucia instigated an additional Winter Exhibition in which local artists were to present their work by invitation. When she found she had not been so invited, Miss Mapp submitted a picture of her own un-invited and was disgruntled when it was returned with a type-written form conveying the regrets of the Committee that the limited wall space at its disposal would not permit Miss Mapp's picture being exhibited.

The Art Exhibition was judged a great success. Lucia had bought Georgie's picture of "Mallards" and Georgie bought Lucia's picture of "Mallards Cottage". Mr Wyse bought his wife's pastel of the King of Italy and sent it as a birthday present to Contessa Amelia. Susan Wyse bought her husband's tea-cup and wall flower and kept it herself. Lucia purchased one of Elizabeth Mapp's six exhibits which forced Miss Mapp to buy Georgie's picture of the Landgate which he had earlier given her and she had sold back to him at her jumble sale for sixpence. Thus Miss Mapp was not amused to have to pay a guinea for what had been hers.

On another occasion, after much critical acclaim Quaint Irene Coles' Birth of Venus, a satirical portrait of Mr and Mrs Mapp-Flint, was displayed at the exhibition - after it had been declared Picture of the Year and displayed at the Royal Academy Summer Exhibition.

The picture was based upon Irene's famous photograph of Elizabeth Mapp-Flint that appeared in the Hampshire Argus standing on one foot as if skating, with the other poised in the air behind her. Her face wore a beckoning smile and one arm was outstretched in eager solicitation. The effect was completed by Elizabeth's Victorian garb of shawl, bonnet, striped skirt and button boots standing on an oyster shell and being blown into Tilling by her Benjy-boy in frock coat and top hat among the clouds with a bottle secreted in his umbrella.

Irene graciously permitted it to be exhibited in Tilling, provided it was displayed alone and the amateur daubs of her neighbours were all removed. She also required the wall in question to be repainted duck-egg green beforehand and a decorative arrangement removed from the vicinity, lest it prove a distraction from her master-piece.

Irene's portrait of Lucia in Mayoral robes was also displayed there at the same time - prior to the rejection of Lucia's proposed gift of the painting by Tilling Council at the mischievous instigation of the Mayoress Elizabeth Mapp-Flint.

Although Quaint Irene's contributions claimed centre stage and indeed the whole theatre and surrounding neighbourhood, there were other contributions on display at the exhibition. They included Lucia's study of dahlias, entitled "Belli Fiori", and a sketch of the courtyard of Sheffield Castle, which she had weeded for the purposes of Art. She called it "From Memory," though it was really from her photograph, and, without specifying the Castle, she added the motto, "The splendour falls on castle walls."

Elizabeth sent in "A misty morning on the Marsh." She was fond of misty mornings, because the climatic conditions absolutely prohibited defined draughtsmanship.

Georgie (without any notion of challenging her contribution) contributed "A sunny morning on the Marsh" with sheep and dykes and clumps of ragwort very clearly delineated.

Algernon Wyse submitted one of his usual still-life studies of a silver tankard, a glass half full of (probably) Capri wine and a spray of nasturtiums
.
Diva who was chained to the kitchen of her tea-house and had little leisure for landscape, served up another piece of still life in pastel of two buns and a tartlet, probably sardine, on a plate.
Finally Susan Wyse sent in a mystical picture of a budgerigar with a halo above its head, and rays of orange light emanating from the primary feathers of its spread wings: "Lost Awhile" was its touching title.
See Picture of the Year and "Women Wrestlers"

Artemis ~ Stephen Merriall had left Lucia at 25 Brompton Square and was walking down Brompton Road. He was disturbed, since Lucia had behaved very oddly, holding his hand and sitting too closely to him on the sofa. Although he and Lucia were excellent friends, they had many tastes in common, but Stephen would sooner never see her again than have an intrigue with her. He was no hand, to begin with at amorous adventures, and even if he had been, he could not conceive of a woman more ill-adapted to dally with than Lucia. Galahad and Artemis would make a better job of it than Lucia and me,' he muttered to himself, turning hastily away from a window full of dainty underclothing for ladies.

Later, when Lucia conducted her callisthenics class at Grebe on alternate days, she wore a tunic rather like Artemis, but with a supplementary skirt and scarlet stockings.

An Olympian, Artemis was a virgin goddess one of the most widely venerated ancient Greek deities. The daughter of Leto and Zeus and twin sister of Apollo, Artemis was the goddess of the wilderness, the hunt and wild animals and fertility (as well as childbirth, virginity and young girls.) She was often depicted with the crescent of the moon above her forehead and as a huntress carrying a bow and arrow.

As a young virgin, Artemis interested many gods and men, but none won her heart, except for her hunting companion Orion, who was accidentally killed by Artemis or Gaia. Being associated with chastity, Artemis asked her father Zeus to grant her eternal virginity. Being very protective of her purity, she punished any man who might dishonour her, as when she turned Actaeon into a stag for ogling Artemis and her nymphs bathing au naturel.

Given her pronounced, if not positively over-developed, sense of her own virtue, it is clear that Artemis would not have approved of even a faux dalliance of the kind Lucia set in train so publicly with a worried Stephen Merriall.

Also, as an early multi-tasker, callisthenics in a tunic (for those no longer young) would appear to have been well within her compass. See Stephen Merriall, Adele Brixton and Galahad.

As from a cup of hemlock ~ when first visiting Tilling, Lucia and Georgie had both quite erroneously misinterpreted the matrimonial inclinations of the other and were equally relieved when the ghastly shadow disappeared. Lucia, it must be said, was slightly irritated, if not hurt, by the perhaps unnecessary vehemence of Georgie's relief at his deliverance, but subsequently they were particularly relaxed and happy in each others company."Ever since that beautiful understanding they had arrived at, that both of them shrank, as from a cup of hemlock, from the idea of marriage , they had talked Italian or baby language to a surprising extent from mere lightness of heart."

Hemlock is a poisonous spotted umbelliferous plant (conium maculatum) and the name is extended to other umbelliferous plants and the poison extracted from it. Classically, it was used a means of execution. Benson's line here also echoes John Keats "Ode to a Nightingale" published in 1820 as part of a collection entitled "Lamia, Isabella, The Eve of St Agnes, and Other Poems":

"My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains
My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk,
Or emptied some dull opiate to the drains
One minute past, and Lethe-wards had sunk:
'Tis not through envy of thy happy lot,
But being too happy in thine happiness,--
That thou, light-winged Dryad of the trees
In some melodious plot
Of beechen green, and shadows numberless,
Singest of summer in full-throated ease...."

See "To autumn."

Aspasia ~ when Lucia chose a day in all the history of the world to live through, she opted for a day in the golden age of Athens featuring lunch with Pericles and Aspasia. A Milesian, Aspasia (c 470BC - 400BC) was "involved with" Athenian statesman Pericles. Mentioned by Plato, Aristophanes and Xenophon, Aspasia may have been influential. Some authorities refer to her as a courtesan and others as the wife of Pericles. She bore him a son, Pericles the Younger, an Athenian general executed after the Battle of Arginusae. See Pericles.

Athene ~ when Princess Popoffski's secretary mentioned to Daisy Quantock that the medium would be leaving the next day for a week's holiday at the Royal Hotel in Brinton, Daisy explained that it was close to Riseholme. "The whole scheme flashed complete upon her, even as Athene sprang full-grown from the brain of Zeus."  She promptly enquired if the Princess might be induced to spend a few days with her in Riseholme.

Similarly, when Diva Plaistow wished to solve the mystery of the purported duel between Major Flint and Capain Puffin, she determined whilst Miss Mapp rested to get hold of the Padre without the duellists. Even as Athene sprang full grown and panoplied from the brain of Zeus, so from Diva's brain there sprang her plan complete. (As a digression, one is tempted to wonder if the plan might actually have "popped" rather than "sprang" from Diva's brain, since popping was very much her forte.) Diva Plaistow immediately invested the ruinous sum of four shillings upon the purchase of a freshly dressed crab with which to tempt the Padre and his wee wifie to luncheon at which she intended to extract the required information from him. Remorselessly employing pitiless force majeure, she immediately asked him to lunch in a way he could not refuse and duly obtained a full account of the Padre's fruitless search amongst the sand dunes.

Godess of wisdom, courage, inspiration, civilisation, warfare, strength, strategy, the arts, justice and skill Athene, Athena or Pallas Athena/Athene is the virgin patron of Athens where the Parthenon was built in her honour. There are several versions of her birth, but in the commonest, Zeus lay with Metis, the goddess of cunning and wisdom. Wanting to forestall the prophesy that her offspring would be more powerful than their father, he swallowed Metis, but he suffered a severe headache (possibly the earliest recorded migraine) and Athene leaped from the head of Zeus, fully grown and armed with a clarion call of war.   See Zeus.

Atkinson ~ Colonel Boucher's servant. Married Elizabeth

Auction Bridge ~ Georgie Pillson was bringing Olga Bracely up to date on recent developments on her return to Riseholme after her American tour. He asked, "But, what I want to know is , why did Lucia send across for my manual on Auction Bridge? She thinks all card games are imbecile."

Olga replied with canny accuracy, "Oh Georgie, that's easy. Why of course Brompton Square, though nothing's settled. Parties you know, when she wants people who like to play Bridge."

Card game auction bridge developed from straight bridge in 1904 and was precursor to contract bridge. In auction bridge a game is scored whenever the required number of tricks is scored whereas in contract bridge, where accurate bidding is crucial, the number of points from tricks taken past the bid do not count towards making a game.

August 4th. 1914 ~ when Georgie heard that Miss Mapp had pushed her way into "Mallards" breaking the chain which was on the door in her eagerness to complain about the holding of Lucia's fete in aid of Tilling hospital in her garden, he remarked "It's war", which Lucia denied. Unconvinced Georgie continued ""Well, I feel like the fourth of August 1914". This was the day on which Britain declared war on Germany. Later that day, Germany invaded Belgium and the Great War had officially begun.

August stunt ~ Lucia maintained her social pre-eminence in Riseholme and Tilling by various means. In addition to the natural advantages stemming from her disposition, intellect and drive, Lucia often sought to contrive events or activities to divert and amuse her "subjects." For example, she consciously evolved a plan to annex the guru from Daisy Quantock, move him to The Hurst and engage him to run classes in yoga in which the whole of Riseholme would be involved. Lucia naturally would be the leading student and take it upon herself to instruct a class in her becoming Teacher's Robe. Running the guru in this fashion was Lucia's August stunt that year. In this way, rather like a Roman emperor maintaining control of the populace with bread and circuses, Lucia used such stunts to sustain her steely grip upon the hearts and minds of Riseholme and later Tilling.

Au reservoir ~ delicious malaprop first used in Tilling by Miss Mapp and swiftly widely adopted. Understood to have been first heard by Miss Mapp on a visit to a friend in the pretty village of Riseholme in the Midlands. Much enjoyed by all, save for Quaint Irene Coles, who dismissed it as a silly old chestnut.

Aunt Amy ~ see Amy, Aunt

Aunt Amy's pearls ~ a little collar of remarkably small seed pearls inherited by Pepino upon the death of Aunt Amy and faultlessly captured in Sargent's full-length portrait of his late aunt. Their size and value was relentlessly discussed and exaggerated in Riseholme and Lucia was relieved by the eventual decision to sell them when disposing of 25 Brompton Square. Despite this decision, they appear not to have been sold and Lucia wore them several times in her hair, including in Olga Braceley's box at the London premier of Cortese's opera "Lucretia", at the banquet to celebrate her inauguration as Mayor of Tilling and at dinner with the Mapp-Flints. See Infelicities
.
Aunt Caroline ~ see Caroline Mapp, Aunt

"Autumn, To" ~ on one October morning Lucia reflected on the season of mists and mellow fruitfulness. There was no doubt about the mists for there had been several sea-fogs in the English Channel and the mellow fruitfulness of the garden at Mallards was equally indisputable. Lucia was quoting from the ode of 1819 "To Autumn" by English romantic poet John Keats (1795 - 1821) which had been inspired by a walk along the beautiful river Itchen near Winchester one fine autumn day. See "As from a cup of hemlock."

Avon ~ a low wall separated the end of the garden of "The Hurst", the decidedly Elizabethan home of Philip/Peppino/Pepino and Emmeline (Lucia) Lucas in Riseholme, from the meadow outside; beyond that lay the stream which flowed into the Avon. It often seemed wonderful to Lucia that the water which wimpled by would (unless a cow happened to drink it) soon be stealing along past the church at Stratford where Shakespeare lay. Peppino had written a very moving little prose-poem about it. It is not known whether this piece was published, whether in Peppino's self-published slim volumes, "Flotsam " or "Jetsam" - or indeed elsewhere.

The source of the River Avon - sometimes known as the Warwickshire Avon or even Shakespeare's Avon - is near the village of Naseby in Northamptonshire. It has a total length of 85 miles and a catchment size of 1,032 square miles. Its many tributaries include the rivers Leam, Stour, Sowe, Dene, Arrow, Swift, Alne, Isboune, Sherbourne and Swilgate, as well as many minor streams and brooks, such as the one behind "The Hurst" in Riseholme.

B ~ is for Bibelots

2008-03-18T19:09:00.247Z

Babs Shyton ~ party in notorious society divorce case followed by Lucia during her sojourn for the London season. Wife of Colonel Shyton known by Babs as SP or Stinkpot.

In court Babs admitted that she had certainly written to her alleged lover,Woof-dog to say that she was in bed and very sleepy and cross, but wished that Woof-dog was thumping his tail on the hearth-rug. That was indiscreet but there was nothing incriminating about it, and as for the row of crosses which followed Bab's signature, she explained quite frankly that they indicated that she was cross. There were roars of laughter again at this, and even the judge wore a broad grin as he said that if there was any more disturbance he should clear the court.

Leading Luciaphil, Adele Brixton perceptively conjectured that poor Babs' case put it into Lucia's head that in this naughty world it gave a cachet to a woman to have the reputation of having a lover . See Colonel Shyton, Woof-dog and Hermione.

Baby talk ~ Lucia and Georgie often spoke an intimate dialect of baby-language with a peppering of Italian words; thus: "Is that 'oo, Georgino mio? Lubbly to hear your voice again. Come Sta? Is 'oo fatigato? Then 'oo shall rest."

It was used to be apologetic, "Me vewwy sowy!" playful, "Oo naughty too! " to conceal strong feelings, "She no likey gramophone at all. Nebber!" and ingratiating, "How is oo? Me vewwy well sank 'oo".

In this vein, books for example became "bookie-wookie's" , extravagant, "stravvy", business "biz biz" and very difficult, "dwefful diffy". The habit exposed Lucia and Georgie to satire, as when Elizabeth Mapp archly mimicked Lucia calling to Georgie to ignore her "belly-pelly", but they normally succeeded in rising above it. See Language.

Bach ~ Emmeline Lucas loved classical music. She played the piano and reserved an hour for practice every day, wholly absorbed in glorious Bach, or dainty Scarlatti or noble Beethoven.

Although it appeared Beethoven was her favourite, glorious Bach stood high in her estimation, particularly as a fellow organist , although Lucia did not quite approach Bach's virtuosity - which was acclaimed throughout Europe - even when Georgie Pillson worked the pedals.

On one famous occasion, on the Sunday morning in the church in Riseholme after the first of Olga Bracely's  lively romps at Old Place, there came from the organ the short introduction to Bach's Du mein glaubiges Herz, which even Lucia had allowed to be nearly "equal" to Beethoven. And then came the voice of Olga Bracely, singing divinely charged wit the joyfulness of some heavenly child. It grew low and soft, it rang out again, it lingered and tarried, it quickened into the ultimate triumph. No singing could have been simpler, but that simplicity could only have sprung from the highest art. But now the art was wholly unconscious; it was part of the singer who but praised God as the thrushes do. She who had made gaiety last night made worship this morning.

In sacred and secular works for choir, orchestra and solo instruments, German composer Johann Sebastian Bach (1685 - 1750) drew together and developed the Baroque to its ultimate maturity. Employing a robust contrapuntal technique, unrivalled harmonic and motivic organisation, he adapted many non-German forms and rhythms, especially those from France and Italy and produced works revered for intellectual rigour, technical excellence and sheer artistic beauty. By way of illustration only, Bach's compositions include the Brandenburg Concertos, The Well-Tempered Clavier, Mass in B Minor and St Matthew Passion as well as English and French Suites, Cello Suites and many organ works, such as the Toccata and Fugue in D Minor.    See Olga Bracely

Baldwin, Stanley ~ when Georgie was concerned about questions he faced from dinner party guests over whom his wife had chosen to be her Mayoress, Lucia suggested inter alia,"Be like Mr Baldwin and say your lips are sealed."

This is a common misquotation. Rather than saying "My lips are sealed" in a speech in the House of Commons on 10th. December 1935, on the Abyssinian Crisis, which with the Hoare-Laval Pact marked a low point in the history of appeasement, Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin (1867 - 1947) said, "I shall be but a short time tonight. I have seldom spoken with greater regret for my lips are not yet unsealed. Were these troubles over I would make a case, and I guarantee that not a man would go into the lobby against us." See "Wait and see."

Bartlett ~ the maiden name of Georgie Pillson's mother, who had been second cousin of Lady Ambermere's deceased husband. Accordingly, Georgie was of what Lady Ambermere considered quite a good family. Sometimes, when she spoke to Georgie, she said "We," implying thereby his connection to the aristocracy. Lady Ambermere and one suspects Georgie would have been horrified to think anyone might have suggested any family link with the Padre in Tilling, Kenneth Bartlett whose more lowly roots lay in Birmingham in the Midlands.

Bartlett, Evie ~ wife of Kenneth, the vicar of Tilling. Small and often compared to a mouse in terms of her voice, stature and demeanour.

A member of the higher social circle in Tilling and one of several ladies disappointed in her desire to be appointed Lady Mayoress during the term of Lucia as Mayor of Tilling.

Enjoyed a passion for that deplorable vegetable, the parsnip.

Bartlett, Kenneth ~ husband of Evie and vicar of Tilling, where he resided in Church Square. Although hailing from Birmingham and thus of Midland English stock, he affected a broad and archaic Scots, Irish brogue (after a holiday there) or spurious Elizabethan English at most times. The effect was sometimes interesting as if men of two nationalities were talking together of whom the Irishman only got a word or two in edge ways. His face was knobbly, like a chest of drawers. A keen golfer, a very competitive bridge player - particularly if playing for money - and active member of the highest echelon of Tilling society.

Like many of his flock, the Padre was a fierce opponent of British Summer Time.

Appeared at Lucia's fete in aid of Tilling Hospital telling Scottish stories and also in the tableaux as executioner of Mary Queen of Scots, as played by Diva Plaistow. Miss Mapp commented "Padre, you looked too cruel as executioner, your mouth so fixed and stern. It was quite a relief when the curtain came down."

Bravely set off (at his own ruinous expense in a taxi) in search of Major Flint and Captain Puffin when it was feared that they were about to duel amidst the sand dunes. Fortunately, after an exhausting search, he discovered them safe and sound about to put on the eighteenth green.

Bravely made a desperate lunge at the table carrying Lucia and Miss Mapp out to sea on Boxing Day as it passed by. In the process slipped and fell flat in the water and was only saved from being carried away by the iron railing alongside the lowest of the submerged steps.

As he did so, lost his new umbrella, a Christmas gift from Lucia and Georgie.

Extremely fond of dressed crab. See Scottish dialect and British Summer Time.

Battersea Park ~ when Lucia had been impressed by a youth speeding past her on a bicycle in the middle of Tilling, she felt inclined to learn bicycling, "Those smart ladies of the nineties used to find it very amusing. Bicycling breakfasts in Battersea Park and all that."

Lucia was referring to a 200 acre park in Battersea in London on the south bank of the Thames opened in 1858. When known as Battersea Fields in the 1820's , it was popular for duelling and in 1864 Battersea Park hosted the first game of football played under the rules of the recently formed Football Association. In the 1890's it appears to have been the venue for the increasingly popular pastime of bicycling, about to come into vogue in Tilling some 45 years later.

Bayreuth or Baireuth ~ excited at the prospect of the impending visit to Riseholme for two nights of favourite operatic diva, Olga Bracely, Georgie Pillson remembered her marvellous appearance the previous year at Covent Garden in the part of Brunnhilde. He was mesmerised "when he saw her awake to Siegfried's kiss on the mountain top. 'Das is keine Mann', Siegfried had said , and, to be sure that was very clever of him, for she looked like some slim, beardless boy, and not in the least like those great fat fraus at Baireuth, who nobody could have mistaken for a man as they bulged and heaved even before the strings of the breast plate were cut by his sword."

Standing on the Red Main river between the Franconian Jura and Fichtelgebirge Mountains, Bayreuth in northern Bavaria, is famed for its annual festival at which the operas of Richard Wagner are presented.

Beau Nash ~ See Nash, Beau.

Beaucourt, Dora (Mrs.) ~ guest at certain society parties during Lucia's London season, who had just astounded the world by her scandalous volume of purely imaginary reminiscences.

Beethoven ~ Emmeline Lucas loved classical music. She played the piano and reserved an hour for practice every day, wholly absorbed in glorious Bach, or dainty Scarlatti or noble Beethoven, whose picture hung above her Steinway Grand. The latter, perhaps, was her favourite composer and no opportunity was missed to give full vent - preferably whilst silhouetted dramatically in profile - to the exquisite pathos of the first movements of the "Moonlight Sonata" (rather than the succeeding two movements, which "went" much faster.)

Hugely influential German composer and pianist, Ludwig van Beethoven (1770 - 1827) bestrode the transition between the Classical and Romantic eras in western music. His career divided into three periods. Early on he was influenced by Mozart and Haydn and produced the first and second symphonies, six string quartets and twelve or so piano sonatas. The Middle or Heroic period saw his increasing deafness and included six symphonies and three piano concerti, the Triple concerto, violin concerto, five string quartets several piano sonatas - including Lucia's beloved Moonlight, the Kreutzer violin concerto and his only opera Fidelio. Beginning around 1815, his intensely personal and intellectually profound Late period included the String Quartet Op. 131, the Ninth Symphony and Missa Solemnis. Overall, his works included nine symphonies, seven concerti, two masses and one opera. Sonatas included 32 for the piano, 10 for violin and 5 for cello, plus one for French horn and numerous lieder. Significant chamber music comprised 16 string quartets, 5 string quintets, 7 for piano trio and many for wind instruments. See "Fidelio" and "Moonlight Sonata"

"Beethoven's Days of Boyhood" ~ volume of biography ordered for Lucia by Georgie at her request from Ye Signe of Ye Daffodille on the Green in Riseholme - when Lucia was too overcome by its proximity on the shelf to the the very thin volume of her late husband's severely limited edition of "Pensieri Persi" to venture over the threshold of the shop. Kept prominently in the music room in "The Hurst" lying on the table with a paper knife stuck between its leaves.

Beethoven expression ~ facial demeanour to be worn in Riseholme and Tilling when listening to Lucia's rendition of the slow movement from the Moonlight Sonata. With head tilted to one side it was intended to connote rapt concentration, sensitivity, uplift and enjoyment - invariably to be followed by a lengthy sigh.

Beethoven's "Sonata in A flat" ~ although Lucia was principally devoted to the slow movement of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, she also knew by heart the funeral march from Beethoven's Sonata in A flat and considered being found at the piano playing it during her protracted mourning following the death of her husband Pepino.

"Before the swallow dared and took the winds" ~ Perdita's garden at Lucia's home in Riseholme, "The Hurst" was gay in spring with those flowers (and no others) on which Perdita doted. There were violet's dim, and primroses and daffodils, which came before the the swallow dared and took the winds (usually of April) with beauty...

As might be expected, this is a quotation from a speech by Perdita in Act 4, Scene iv of Shakespeare's "The Winters Tale"

Now, my fair'st friend,
I would I had some flowers o' the spring that might
Become your time of day; and yours, and yours,
That wear upon your virgin branches yet
Your maidenheads growing: O Proserpina,
For the flowers now, that frighted thou let'st fall
From Dis's waggon! daffodils,
That come before the swallow dares, and take
The winds of March with beauty; violets dim,
But sweeter than the lids of Juno's eyes
Or Cytherea's breath; pale primroses
That die unmarried, ere they can behold
Bight Phoebus in his strength--a malady
Most incident to maids; bold oxlips and
The crown imperial; lilies of all kinds,
The flower-de-luce being one! O, these I lack,
To make you garlands of, and my sweet friend,
To strew him o'er and o'er!

Beggar maid ~ role somewhat implausibly played by Lucia in tableaux, opposite Georgie's equally improbable King Cophetua.

Belshazzar's Feast ~ Lucia was more than a little discommoded to learn that Olga Bracely had acquired a permanent home at Old Place in Riseholme and, privately, her thoughts turned immediately to the possible damage to her own social dominance. She thought of Belshazzar's Feast and the writing of doom on the wall which she was Daniel enough to interpret herself, "Thy kingdom is divided,"it said "and given to the Bracely's or the Shuttleworths."

Described in the book of Daniel, the Babylonian king Belshazzar profaned the sacred vessels of the enslaved Israelites. As prophesied by the writing on the wall and interpreted by Daniel, Belshazzar was killed and succeeded by Darius the Mede. To Lucia, Olga's new ways including romps, the gramophone and cigarettes threatened her previously unchallenged dominance in the village.

Benares ~ when Lucia returned to Riseholme from a visit to London, she found that, in her absence. her neighbour Daisy Quantock had "gained" a mysterious draped and turbaned guest with a tropical complexion and a black beard. Noting his robe of saffron yellow, violently green girdle, hitched up for ease of walking, short pink socks and red slippers, she surmised correctly that he was of Indian extraction. She knew there were some Indian princes in London: perhaps it was one of them , in which case it would be necessary to read up Benares or Delhi in the Encyclopaedia without loss of time.

It was subsequently suggested that the Guru was of extraordinary sanctity and came from Benares. He was later known to be a dishonest and bibulous curry cook from Bedford Street in London.

Known as the city of lights, the holy city of India, the religious capital of India or the city of temples, Benares, or Varanasi, stands on the banks of the holy River Ganges in Uttar Pradesh. One of the oldest continuously inhabited cities in the world, it is venerated by Hindus, Buddhists and Jains. As well as being a cultural and religious centre, it is a major seat of learning with four universities. See Delhi, Guru and Yoga

Benjamin Flint, Major Retd. ~ a long-time resident of Tilling after retirement from the army where he spent many happy years in India. Claimed he was called Sporting Benjy in his regiment. Much affected by the time serving the Raj, his home was filled with moth-eaten tiger skins and other memorabilia. Often asserted he had seen a good deal of shikarri in his time - although not everyone was sure precisely what shikarri entailed. It emerged it was Hindi for big game hunting.

His speech was peppered with phrases in Hindustani and the Major was wont to summon his breakfast porridge with a roar of Quai Hai. The Major cultivated a dashing and risky image, assuming a haughty, pompous and gallant manner with the ladies (or fairies). He certainly had a lock of hair in a small gold specimen case on his watch chain, and had been seen to kiss it when, rather carelessly, he thought he was unobserved.

In his normal bluff mode, his conversation was marked by loud pshawings and sniffs at "nonsense and balderdash," many thumpings on the table to emphasise an argument, constant references to his war wound, prodigious swipes at golf and intolerance of any who believed in ghosts, microbes or vegetarianism. He was not a subtle man.

He enjoyed golf and a wager with his old friend and neighbour Captain Puffin with whom he often argued relentlessly over the niceties of play.

Sometimes disagreements grew out of hand, particularly when fuelled by liquor, and on one occasion brought about a phantom duel which did not take place since both protagonists took flight to catch the London train only to meet at the station and settle their differences.

They shared bibulous evenings over drinks, alternating between each other's homes. This behaviour met with disapproval from their neighbour Miss Elizabeth Mapp who underwent a distressingly frank exchange with Captain Puffin in the foggy street late at night.

The ensuing froideur between Miss Mapp and Puffin never really evaporated, but Major Benjamin capitulated entirely and apologised.  From this point Miss Mapps' affection for the man only she called Major Benjy or Benjy boy grew.

When Miss Mapp was swept away to sea after the deluge at Grebe, Major Flint found he was the beneficiary under her will and shockingly set about spending some of his anticipated wealth on a car and wine with unseemly haste - as well as moving into "Mallards" after failing to let it.

This episode perhaps best typified his selfish and insensitive inclinations. On the evening Miss Mapp and Lucia had been swept out to sea by the flood, his main contribution to the discussion amongst a gathering of concerned friends, thinking, as usual, of himself, was to exclaim," Thank God I live on a hill." He even declined to bear any part of the cost of the memorial cenotaph erected by Georgie Pillson in memory of Miss Mapp and Mrs Lucas. Generally, his behaviour did not compare well to that of Georgie, who comported himself admirably.

Naturally an explosion ensued upon Miss Mapp's miraculous deliverance which only abated after lengthy self-abasement by the Major. Thus weakened (reputationally and financially), Major Benjy stood little chance of resisting Miss Mapp's manoeuvres towards matrimony.

With a certain inevitability, the Major married Elizabeth and they honeymooned in Monte Carlo.

Losses incurred in unwise continued speculation in Siriami shares and general lack of funds ultimately induced the Mapp-Flints to exchange Mallards for Grebe and a cash sum.

After marriage, Major Benjy required cunning to continue to imbibe to the extent he preferred, but managed this on many occasions. Sometimes intoxication led to embarrassment, as when found with his hand upon Lucia's knee after too much wine over dinner or when induced to visit the local newspaper to horse whip its editor for publishing a less-than-flattering photograph of his good lady wife and instead joined the culprit for a good many drinks and extended an invitation to luncheon.

Major Benjy considered Lucia a fine looking woman but did not admire some of Mr Georgie's less-than-manly ways. Although he hypocritically stated that he wished to be associated with Algernon Wyse's statement that Georgie Pillson had endeared himself to Tilling and would be missed, Major Benjy was contemptuous of Georgie's sketches, needlework - and his yachting cap, which he had pronounced to be only fit for a popinjay. He later sarcastically characterised Georgie as Mistress Milliner Michael-Angelo.

Contessa Amelia de Faraglione was enormously amused by Major Benjy's numerous very human frailties, calling him my flirt, a pink walrus and the Lothario of the tiger skins.

The Major enjoyed nothing more than a good dinner, a great deal to drink and a few rubbers of bridge and was entirely in thrall to his good lady wife, whom he considered one of the fairies, God bless 'em. See Shikarri.

Benjy boy ~ affectionate name used by Elizabeth Mapp-Flint for her new husband, even (and perhaps, particularly) in company: a development of her earlier invention, Major Benjy.

Benjy's riding whip ~ the leather crop with a silver top engraved with BF, the initials of Benjamin Flint. By repute, the crop was Major Flint's most cherished relic since he claimed to have smacked an Indian tiger over the face with it whilst he picked up his gun with which to shoot the unfortunate creature.

Major Flint had impetuously taken the whip with him with which to chastise Mr Connell, the Editor of the Hampshire Argus for publishing a less-than-flattering snap of his good lady wife, taken by Quaint Irene Coles.

As it happened, the Major swiftly more than overcame his differences with Mr Connell over a good many drinks and returned for lunch with his his newest friend, absent-mindedly leaving the precious crop behind. Ever dutiful, Elizabeth Mapp Flint recovered the crop from the offices, but mislaid it on the way home at Diva Plaistow's tea shop. It emerged that Diva's dog Paddy had triturated or swallowed all of the crop, other than the engraved silver top. Other than the silver cap, no murderer could have disposed of the corpse with greater skill. The incriminating top was subsequently buried in the garden at Wasters only to be accidentally discovered by Georgie Pillson when showing Diva how to plant bulbs.

Georgie carried the top about with him for some time, but later accidentally dropped it onto the desk in the morning room at Mallards House. During an evening at Mallards House, Elizabeth Mapp-Flint, sharp-eyed and proprietorial as ever, immediately recognised the top, pocketed it and took it home. Then she arranged for a facsimile of the crop to be created with the original silver top and to the astonishment of those in-the-know arranged for Benjamin to use the crop for dramatic effect in his colourful lecture on shooting tigers in India.

To top her, Lucia secretly had a further facsimile of the crop made and then arranged for it to be discovered behind a cupboard at Diva's tea shop. Again, those in-the-know in Tilling enjoyed Elizabeth Mapp's discomfiture following the discovery. Their pleasure was increased by the fact that they did not comment upon it.

Bibelots ~treasured precious objects inherited years ago and kept by Georgie Pillson in a glass-topped case and cleaned regularly and personally only by him. They included a gold Louis XVI snuff box, miniature by Karl Huth, silver toy porringer of the time of Queen Anne, a piece of Bow china and an enamelled cigarette- case by Faberge. It was generally understood that he had inherited them (though the inheritance had passed to him through the medium of curiosity shops) and there were several pieces of considerable value among them.

Sadly, certain of the bibelots were stolen by the fleeing guru prior to his exposure as a dishonest curry cook. The observant Mrs Weston noted that the missing snuff box, cigarette case and Bow china were replaced by a rat-tail spoon, a bit of Worcester china, a different cigarette case and a bead bag.

Bicycle picnics ~ Lucia and Georgie learned to ride bicycles late in life and set quite a trend amongst their circle in Tilling. That summer the Wyses, Bartletts and Diva Plaistow all joined in the craze, leaving only the stubborn Elizabeth Mapp-Flint unconverted to the joys of cycling (and because of his wife, Major Benjy too - though he had dabbled discretely in private).

Who could possibly improve upon the paragraph by EFB capturing the pleasures of bicycle picnics that long warm summer in Sussex in the mid 1930's which begins: As the days grew longer and the weather warmer, picnic parties were arranged to points of interest within easy distance, a castle, a church or a Martello Tower, and they ate sandwiches and drank from their thermos flasks in ruined dungeons or on tombstones or by the edge of a moat...

Bicycling ~ Lucia first developed a lust for speed following a near-miss with a boy cycling past her in the street in Tilling at break-neck pace. Lucia and then Georgie began to learn to bicycle in the quiet lanes outside Tilling. The phase was not without its mishaps and Lucia had two collisions with the same roadside tar pot - each costing her half a crown in compensation.

Lucia and Georgie soon progressed to practising on the wider expanses of the beach and ultimately acquired new bicycles and rode in public. Their bicycles were nickel plated, belled and braked and, as befitted the Mayor, Lucia's tool-bag behind the saddle bore the Borough Arms of Tilling.

The couple's cycling debut caused quite a stir in Tilling particularly when Lucia allowed - indeed encouraged -herself to be charged and brought before the Tilling Magistrates on a charge of cycling dangerously fast in Landgate Street.

She was understood to have ridden at 20 MPH although subsequently this was commonly exaggerated to 30 MPH. Lucia stood down from the bench whilst her case was heard and did not ask for time to pay her fine of twenty shillings.

The case featured with a photograph in the Hampshire Argus but, although Lucia had instructed Mrs Simpson to inform the Central News Agency, the trial was not reported in the national or international press.

Many others from Tilling's elite joined in the cycling craze which combined well with summer outings and picnics.

Susan Wyse favoured a jaunty tricycle, whilst her husband Algernon could ride using only one hand, leaving the other free to raise his hat courteously to passing friends.

Only Elizabeth Mapp Flint despised the fad, although she claimed to have learned to ride a bicycle in ten minutes whilst a girl. Mrs Mapp-Flint was greatly upset when the Padre suggested that this was remarkable for in those days there was only those great high machines which you rode straddle.

Birmingham Gazette ~ Midland newspaper .

Bismarck ~ when it belatedly emerged that Elizabeth Mapp had let "Mallards" to Lucia without the benefit of garden produce (save for flowers for the house) Diva Plaistow was particularly indignant, saying to Lucia, "So like Elizabeth. I asked if she gave you garden produce and she said she wasn't going to dig up her potatoes and carry them away. Well of course, I thought  that she meant she did give it to you. So like her. Bismarck, wasn't it, who told the truth in order to deceive?"   Diva appears to be paraphrasing a well-known quotation by Otto von Bismarck,"When you want to fool the world, tell the truth."

On another occasion, there was a general nervousness in Tilling over the choice of Lucia's Mayoress pending its announcement. Elizabeth Mapp-Flint, distraught with anxiety, even thought Diva Plaistow had been chosen. What made this even more probable was that Diva had so emphatically denied to Evie that she could be induced to accept the post. It was like poor Diva to think that anybody would believe such a monstrous statement; it only convinced Elizabeth that she was telling a thumping lie, in order to conceal something. Probably she thought she was being Bismarckian, but that was an error. Bismarck had said that to tell the truth was a useful trick for a diplomatist, because others would conclude that he was not. But he had never said that telling lies would induce others to think that he was telling the truth.

German statesman, "Iron Chancellor", Otto Eduard Leopold von Bismarck (1815 - 1898) was the Prime Minister of Prussia (1862 -1890) who oversaw German unification. In 1867 he became Chancellor of the North German Confederation and in 1871 of the German Empire, until 1890. To achieve unification, he applied the Prussian model on the whole of Germany with a well-trained bureaucracy, some progressive social policies and a strong monarchy, but his anti-Catholic and anti-Socialist legislation left a divisive legacy.

His diplomacy of realpolitik cleverly used balance of power diplomacy, which sustained and improved the position of his united Germany. It also became synonymous with unscrupulous dealings where truth seemed invariably to be the first casualty. How unlike life in our own dear Tilling.

Blavatski, Madame ~ Daisy Quantock thrillingly noted that the rooms of her medium Princess Popoffski at her flat , in a quiet side-street off Charing Cross Road, were dimly lit by oil lamps that stood in front of shrines containing images of the great spiritual guides from Moses down to Madame Blavatsky.

Controversial theosophist, traveller and prolific writer Helena Petrovna Blavatsky/Blavatski (nee von Hahn) (1831 - 1891) set up the Theosophical Society with Colonel H.S.Olcott with the stated purpose "to form a nucleus of the Universal Brotherhood of Humanity without distinction of race, creed, sex, caste or colour."

Editor of "The Theosophist" magazine for a time, Madame Blavatsky influenced spiritualism and related fields. Some of her views were shared by Christian Gnostics. Many critics were, to say the least, sceptical of her views and, sometimes, without support from documentation, denounced her as a fraud, charlatan, spy, racist, smoker of cannabis, plagiarist - and much else besides. On the other hand, some admitted that the cosmogony and anthropogenesis in her "The Secret Doctrine"contained elements not found in any other philosophy.

Some recent Fortean studies have concluded that her earlier condemnation was unjust. Benson however seems morbidly sceptical of her bona fides and is intentionally sarcastic in describing the shrines set up by what we eventually learn was a fraudulent medium of great spiritual guides from Moses down (very much "down") to the oft-ridiculed Madame Blavatsky. See Princess Popoffski, Daisy Quantock, Gnostic, Rosicrucian and Cabalistic.

Blitton ~ town nearby Riseholme. Location of its fire-station.

Blue Birdie ~ the late blue budgerigar or parakeet of Susan Wyse which tragically fluttered off its mortal coil when accidentally sat upon by its mistress. Mrs Wyse assuaged her considerable grief by having Blue Birdie stuffed to adorn her ample bosom or dress her hat.

Unfortunately, its undignified death was compounded when, in a careless moment, it fell into a raspberry souffle at lunch at Mallards House and henceforth was seen out and about in Tilling with red plumage.

The demise of Blue Birdie affected Susan Wyse badly; she focused all her energies upon seances at Starling Cottage - wearing a voluminous white shift. Here Blue Birdie prompted automatic writing. In consequence Susan's hitherto keen appreciation of the comforts and interests of life, her fur coat, her Royce, her shopping and her bridge were all tasteless to her.

Her concerned husband Algernon was worried that Susan would become unhinged if it continued. To bring matters to a head he removed the corpse of Blue Birdie from its ebony -or possibly ebonite - shrine with white satin curtains - and Lucia filed it in one of her Mayoral black japanned tin boxes labelled "Museum".

Once the corpse had been removed Susan was eventually persuaded by Lucia that Blue Birdie had departed to the other side and at last found peace.

The corpse of Blue Birdie, thus locked its Mayoral tin box, was found, badly decomposed and reeking of disinfectant and decay, to the horror of Lucia's secretary Mrs. Simpson. By an unfortunate coincidence, this macabre discovery took place just as Susan Wyse arrived at Mallards House. With Blue Birdie cremating on the fire in the morning room, the smell of burnt feathers permeating the house and the odd blue feather floating down to settle upon the carpet, Lucia swiftly led Mrs Wyse into the garden and successfully distracted her with conversation. Blue Birdie made no further re-appearances in Tilling in bodily or spirit form. See Necromancy.

Blue Train, The ~ when Pepino had been ill with pneumonia and was convalescing at home at "The Hurst" in Riseholme, Lucia decided it would be appropriate to sell 25, Brompton Square and most of its contents. She set about persuading Pepino to do so, martialling her arguments and producing rows of figures to show that they were living beyond their means. She quoted (or invented) something the Prime Minister has said about the probability of an increase in income-tax: she assumed that they would go to the Riviera for certain, and was appalled at the price of tickets, in the Blue Train, and of the tariff at hotels.

Colloquially referred to as "The Blue Train" (le train bleu) because of its dark-blue sleeping cars, the luxury Calais-Mediterranee Express was the preferred night train of the rich and famous between Calais and the French Riviera between 1922 and the oubreak of the Second World War.

Blumenthal piano ~ an antique piano less fine than claimed by Miss Mapp left in Mallards during Lucia's initial summer let. Not being to the standard required by Lucia, it was -to the intense irritation of Elizabeth Mapp - promptly removed to the telephone room during her initial stay and a better instrument hired-in from Brighton.

Bluthner ~ Mrs Poppit was excited to acquire a new upright Bluthner piano. Elizabeth Mapp saw it being transported in a sack from Tilling station on an open trolly.

Boaler ~ servant of Lucia and Pepino in Riseholme

Bohemian ~ when Olga Bracely had moved to Riseholme, Lucia labelled her as "rather common" but retained a certain respect for her professional career, given that that professional career was to be thrown down as a carpet for her own feet. But after all, if Olga was a bit Bohemian in her way of life, as exhibited by the absence of calling cards, Lucia was perfectly ready to overlook that, confident in the refining influence of Riseholme and to go to Olga's informal party the next day.

First appearing in the English language in the 19th century to describe the non-traditional lifestyles of some marginalised and impoverished artists such as writers, musicians and actors, the term “Bohemian” connotes an unconventional lifestyle, often in the company of the like-minded people with few permanent ties, sometimes involving creative or artistic pursuits.

Bolshevism, spirit of ~ the desire to throw off all authority and act independently. This manifested itself at intervals in both Riseholme and Tilling, as when Georgie Pillson dared to invite Olga Bracely to luncheon and to bring her to Lucia's garden party only after a lengthy game of post-prandial croquet had been concluded. He felt rather like one who, when revolutionary ideas are in the air , had concealed a revolver in his pocket. He did not formulate to himself precisely what he was going to do with it, but it gave him a sense of power to know that it was there.

Daisy Quantock dared to try to "run" the guru before he was mercilessly annexed by Lucia. In Tilling, although Miss Mapp's social dictatorship among the ladies in her circle had long been paramount, every now and then signs of rebellious upheavals showed themselves. Though there was no question of her being the social queen of Tilling, Miss Mapp sometimes felt that there were ugly Bolshevistic symptoms in the air - particularly when she was being subjected to Quaint Irene Coles' dreadful gift of mimicry. Subsequently, Miss Mapp's numerous attempts to overthrow the new rule of Lucia speak for themselves.

Bonstetter, Professor ~ renowned psychoanalyst. Lucia attended a lecture by him on psycho-analysis in the black drawing room at Sophie Alingsby's house. She learned curiously that if you dreamed about boiled rabbit, it meant that sometime in early childhood you had been kissed by a poacher in a railway-carriage and had forgotten all about it! Lucia was pronouncing to the distinguished company at the weekend party held by Adele Brixton at her country house on the lecture she had just attended with Sophie Allingsby and the significance of dreaming of boiled rabbit when she looked around to realise that one of the men in the room to whom she had not paid much attention was Professor Bonstetter himself. Despite the faux pas, to the delight of Luciaphils such as her hostess, Lucia sailed blithely on chatting to the Professor, as though her gaffe had never occurred.

Boon ~ sulky, monosyllabic and somewhat bovine butler of Susan Poppit. Made excellent -and very alcoholic - redcurrant fool.

Bore, the Severn ~ see the Severn Bore

Borgia, Lucretia or Lucrezia ~ when Olga Bracely was guest of honour at dinner at "Mallards House" the guests vied to catch her attention in sparkling conversation. Algernon Wyse chipped in (though he was unlikely to use such an expression) and with an eye on Olga told Lucia that his sister the Contessa di Faraglione was a passionate student of the age of Lucrezia Borgia.

Benson sometimes applied the term "Lucretian" when Lucia was being particularly canny, devious or just too clever for words. When Lucia wished to avoid being found out as far from fluent in la bella lingua during the visit of Contessa Amelia di Faraglione, she ordered Georgie safely off to Folkstone and entered into purdah with feigned influenza, "From the window of her bedroom next morning Lucia saw Georgie and Cadman and Foljambe set off for Folkstone, and it was with a Lucretian sense of pleasure in her own coming tranquillity that she contemplated the commotion and general upset of plans which was shortly to descend on Tilling. "

The illegitimate daughter of Rodrigo Borgia, who later became Pope Alexander VI, Lucrezia Borgia (1480 - 1519) was the sister of Cesare, Giovanni and Gioffre Borgia. Something of a femme fatale, Lucrezia played a full part in the ruthless and Machiavellian realpolitik of Renaissance Italy - held by some to be a model for Tilling of the mid-1930s.

Botticelli ~ when Lucia looked at Quaint Irene's very striking sketch of Venus rising from the sea, she noted "a nude, well nourished, putty coloured female, mottled with green shadows balanced on an oyster shell, while a prize fighter, representing the wind and sprawling across the sky, propelled her with puffed cheeks up a river towards a red-roofed town on the shore which presented Tilling with Pre-Raphaelite fidelity."

When Lucia reasonably remarked "Dear Me! Quite Botticellian!", Irene screamed "What? Darling how can you compare my deep bosomed Venus, fit to be the mother of heroes, with Botticelli's anaemic flapper?" After a vigorous discussion, she then tore it across and promised to turn her wondrous Helenic goddess into a Victorian mother.

The work of Italian painter of the Florentine school, Sandro Botticelli or Alessandro di Mariano di Vanni Filipepi (1445 -1510) was thought to represent the linear grace of Early Rennaissance painting, as reflected in The Birth of Venus and Primavera. See Picture of the Year, Art Club Exhibition and Quaint Irene Coles.

Boucher, Jacob Colonel ~ resident of Riseholme. After some clever matchmaking by Olga Bracely, married his friend and neighbour, Mrs Weston - at about the time his manservant Atkinson married Mrs Weston's maid, Elizabeth.

Military in bearing, somewhat brusque in manner and limited vocabulary with much use of Haw hum, By Jove, old man and the occasional Pshaw! Faugh ! and even Tush! Known to hate Georgie's embroidery and generally had nothing stronger than a mild tolerance for Georgie and rather enjoyed snubbing him. Served in Egypt, where he was taken ill.

Read the "Daily Mirror", one copy of which was stolen from his hall by Robert Quantock to prevent him seeing the court report upon the conviction of fraudulent medium known as Princess Popoffski.

Owner of two bulldogs which he often exercised on the Green, with much throwing of sticks into the ducking pond. Was obliged to give one bulldog away to his brother, since it always growled so frightfully at Mrs Boucher.

Boucher, Mrs Jane ~ see Mrs Jane Weston

Bourdon ~ Lucia and Georgie were in Tilling church practising the slow movement of the "Moonlight Sonata" which they were to perform during the recital which formed part of the service of dedication of the organ, newly refurbished at Lucia's expense. Lucia uncoupled the pedals and substituted the bourdon: Elijah and the Witch of Endor rattled in their leaded frames in the stained glass window above. The bourdon is a 16 foot organ stop of the stopped diapason type. See Elijah, Witch of Endor, Diapason, Vox humana and Cor anglais.

Boxing Day 1930 ~ memorable day upon which Miss Mapp and Lucia were swept out to sea on an upturned kitchen table when the sea defences were breached and a flood engulfed Grebe.

Boy, small red-haired ~ disguise adopted by operatic prima donna Olga Bracely when she wished to sing incognito, for example in church in Riseholme or amongst the carol singers at Georgie's Christmas dinner party. On each occasion, Lucia referred to "the small red haired boy who nearly deafens me" and expressed the vehement wish that his voice would "crack soon."

Brace Mrs. ~ wife of the doctor in Tilling (other than Mr Dobbie, that is). Though Mrs Brace was not strictly in society, Miss Mapp waived all social distinctions and spoke to her when trying to obtain details of the sad passing of Captain Puffin.

Bracely, Olga (Mrs Shuttleworth) ~ a famous prima donna of the opera for whom Signor Cortese wrote his new work Lucretia (sometimes Lucrezia). Celebrated in a caricature by Herbert Alton, exhibited at the Rutland Gallery in London at the same time as those of Lucia and Pepino. Tall and boyish in figure with an unspoiled and vivacious personality.

Olga Bracely was in fact her stage and maiden name since she was recently married to Mr Shuttleworth - a cousin of the late Lord Ambermere and whom Georgie, for once rebellious, allowed Lucia incorrectly to address as Mr Bracely. Confusingly, referred to as Charlie by Lady Ambermere and Georgie by his wife.

Olga leased Old Place in Riseholme and soon became firm platonic friends with Georgie Pillson, who admired her as an artist and adored her as a person.

She acquired Old Place secretly as a surprise for her husband using her devoted friend Georgie to oversee repairs, decoration and furnishing. As Olga predicted, her husband was delighted with Old Place and gave it to his wife as a gift.

Olga freely admitted that she came out of an orphan school in Brixton but would much have preferred the gutter. She suggested that Georgie keep this from the snobbish Lady Ambermere, but tell her she belonged to the Surrey Bracely's - which was after-all correct, since Brixton is on the Surrey side. Georgie let this slip to Lucia, who feeling threatened by her natural and unspoiled charm, jealous or simply snobbish went so far as labelling Olga as "rather common." Lucia did not approve of Olga's failure to have calling cards printed.

Olga entered into social life in Riseholme after making her belated debut at Lucia's garden party. She arrived late, having felt obliged to finish a post-prandial game of croquet with Georgie, just as many guests were leaving disappointed, but saved the day by performing the Salutation of Brunnhilde to her own accompaniment - after finding Lucia's efforts as accompanist not quite up to scratch.

Her many new friends enjoyed Olga's informal romps at New Place, which featured children's games. Although several neighbours attempted to reciprocate with their own romps, they lacked the necessary joie de vivre to carry them off at all plausibly. The Sunday morning after the first of ther romps for her neighbours, Olga performed Bach's Du mein glaubige Herz exquisitely in Riseholme church.

Olga grew fond of Colonel Boucher and Jane Weston and cleverly acted as matchmaker prior to their marriage. Seeing that her friendship with the devoted Georgie was causing a rift between him and Lucia, Olga persuaded Georgie to bring Lucia back into the heart of his circle. Showing great maturity and kindness, she also dutifully took more of a secondary role in life in the village to allow Lucia to bask in "centre stage."

Olga was obliged to leave Riseholme to present Lucretia in America for four months and then in Australia. When asked to accompany her as her guest, Georgie touchingly declared he was unable to take up Olga's invitation: Because I adore you.

On Olga's return to the country following her tour, Georgie found her as enchanting as ever -particularly when contrasted with Lucia who had grown even more self-obsessed as Mayor of Tilling. By this time Olga had been widowed, but had lost none of her former charm and vivacity.

She invited Georgie and Lucia to her box for a gala performance in London of Lucretia and entertained them at Old Place in Riseholme. Olga made a strong impression upon the residents of Tilling when visiting Mallards House and the ladies of Tilling were inspired by her glamorous appearance to try to improve their own maquillage or make-up.

Georgie attended her house party in Le Touquet, although his visit was made less enjoyable by the unwelcome attentions of the barbophilic Poppy, Duchess of Sheffield.

At about this time Olga began to work upon Signor Cortese's new opera composed for her, Diane de Poictiers.   See Bach

Brahms ~ on the evening on which Lucia introduced Georgie to a print of Vandyk's protrait of Gelasius, his bearded doppelganger, she and Georgie gave themselves a holiday from and did not tackle that dwefful diffy Brahms. Lucia called him "Wonderful Brahms" and adopted a phrase of Walter Pater confirming that the soul with all its maladies had entered into his music. A German, Johannes Brahms (1833 - 1897) was one of the leading musicians of the Romantic period. He was a virtuoso pianist and composed for piano, chamber ensembles, orchestra and voice. Many of his works are staples of the modern concert repertoire. See Pater, Walter.

Breakfast ~ term invariably applied by Algernon Wyse, in his absurd affected fashion - to allude to luncheon, especially when his sister, the Contessa Amelia di Faraglione was staying with him. This nomenclature may have been the refined habit in his celebrated family, the Wyses of Whitchurch.

Bridge ~ a favourite pastime in both Riseholme and particularly Tilling. Bridge was the mainstay of much social life and the chief intellectual pursuit. All semblance of manners was invariably thrown to the winds by the ladies of Tilling when once bridge began; primeval hatred took their place. The winners of any hand were exasperatingly condescending to the losers and the losers correspondingly bitter and tremulous.

Lucia was a relatively late converts to cards, which whilst she resided in Riseholme, came next to crossword puzzles in her index of inanities and which she despised as only fit for those who had not the intelligence to talk or listen. After the death of her husband Pepino's Aunt Amy however and anticipating the forthcoming London season, Lucia borrowed Georgie's manual on Auction Bridge and came to regard the pursuit more favourably.

Considerable debate took place over particular conventions, such as majority-calling, rising to arguments over revocations, scores and winnings claimed or owed. The war between Contract and Auction ended with the extermination of the latter, since Contract gave so much more scope for violent differences of opinion about honour tricks, declarations and doublings and strong twos and takings-out, which added enjoyable spleen and savagery to the game.

Schools of thought followed included Culbertson, no club, two clubs and Leeway - which neither its exponent Diva Plaistow, nor anyone else, understood. Lucia relied largely on psychic bids.

Tilling did not take kindly to the imposition of rules from any central authority - as evidenced by its only partial adherence to British Summer Time. Miss Mapp witheringly remarked: "I don't know by what right the Portland Club tells us how to play bridge. Tilling might just as well tell the Portland Club to eat salt with gooseberry tart, and for my part I shall continue to play the game I prefer."

Typically, Tilling rebelled en masse when Lucia felt that, as Mayor, she could not in conscience play for money. Tilling decided it preferred to play for modest stakes and continued to do so without Lucia until Worship's view of the issue had reverted. See British Summer Time and Tishbites.

Brinton ~ town nearby Riseholme. Excellent fresh fish suppliers to whom Mrs Weston sent her cook every week since she did not like the look of the successor to Henry Luton's mother.

Brinton String Quartet ~ awful string quartet that played in the lounge of the Royal Hotel in Brinton after dinner. Aptly described as doleful fiddlers. Embarrassingly mistaken by Lucia for the world-renowned Spanish Quartet at a party of Olga Bracely.

British Museum ~ noting Lucia had not arrived at home in Riseholme with her maid in the fly following her return by rail from London, Georgie Pillson guessed erroneously that oblivious to the passage of time she had spent her last half hour in contemplation of the Greek bronzes at the British Museum.

Established in 1753, largely based upon the collections of the physician and scientist Sir Hans Sloane, the British Museum first opened to the public in Montagu House in Bloomsbury in 1759, on the site of the current museum building. Its collections comprise more than seven million items illustrating the development of human culture across the globe. Controversial objects in the collection include the Elgin Marbles from the Parthenon in Athens.

British Summer Time ~ introduced as a wartime measure in 1916, British Summer Time was set one hour ahead of Greenwich Mean Time for a period set by Parliament each year. Between 1930 and 1938, for example, it ran from a date in April to a date in October, providing an extra hour of daylight in the evening and one of the chronic dissensions of Tilling.

With certain exceptions, such as Major Flint and Captain Puffin, most of Tilling, including prominent figures such as Miss Mapp, Diva Plaistow and the Padre, utterly refused (except when going by train) to alter their watches because Mr Lloyd George told them so.

Typically, Quaint Irene was flippant on the subject and said that any old time would do for her. The Poppits followed convention, and Mrs Poppit, in naming the hour for a party to the stalwarts, wrote "4.30 (your 3.30)". The King, after all, had invited her to be decorated with her MBE at a particular hour, summer time, and what was good enough for the King was good enough for Mrs Poppit.

The strength of feeling on the issue locally was illustrated by the following remarks by the vicar, Kenneth Bartlett: "We feel keenly, I know, about summer-time in Tilling, though we shall all be reconciled over that next Sunday, when real time, 'God's time', as I am venturing to call it in my sermon, comes in again." (Chapter 6 "Miss Mapp" ~ p.132 Black Swan edition)

Brixton, Adele Lady ~ member of Lucia's social circle in London; a leading and perhaps the most perceptive Luciaphil. An insightful student of human nature and behaviour and particuarly that of Lucia . She knew instantly that Luica's affair with Stephen Merriall was contrived for effect as a stunt or glory.

A cousin of Aggie Sandeman. A lean, intelligent American of large fortune who found she got on better without her husband. As Lord Brixton preferred living in America and she in England, satisfactory arrangements were easily made .

Occasionally she had to see relatives in America and he selected such periods for visiting family in England. Lady Brixton confirmed we blow kisses to each other from the decks of Atlantic liners going in opposite directions, if it's calm and if it's rough, we're sick into the same ocean.

Held a glittering weekend house party towards the end of the season at her immense country home in Essex attended by the Prime Minister, Greatorex the pianist , Professor Bonstetter the psycho- analyst, the Italian ambassador and other members of Lucia's social circle, including Marcia Whitby, Tony Limpsfied, and Stephen Merriall.

The weekend was eventful for Lucia who managed to secure an invitation to lunch at Chequers, play Stravinski for his most accomplished interpreter, discuss Mussolini with the Italian ambassador, share her views on psycho-analysis with Professor Bonstetter and voice her opinions upon the controversial Shyton divorce case in the presence of Archie Singleton, Babs' brother. Regularly attended the opera and concerts, but the only tune she really liked was "Land of Hope and Glory" (the words of which were written by Fred Benson's brother, Arthur.)

Lucia also contrived to walk entirely innocently but uninvited into the bedroom of her faux lover Steven Merriall to their mutual horror and embarrassment.

Adele could be outspoken, even to Lucia. When discussing life in Riseholme, Lucia remarked, "If I find it at all dull, caro, I shall be as Adele once said, a bloody fool. Dear Adele, she has always that little vein of coarseness. "

Her stay illuminated the weekend for assembled avid Luciaphils, but was terminated when Lucia received news of Pepino's deteriorating health and returned early to his bedside at The Hurst in Riseholme.

Initially leased The Hurst for three months, whilst Lucia rented "Mallards" and fell in love with Riseholme. She affirmed life was no longer worth living without a house there. She wished to purchase unfurnished The Hurst, failing which the house belonging to round red little Mrs Quantock would do. Subsequently purchased The Hurst when Lucia departed from Riseholme to make her home in Tilling. After buying The Hurst Lady Brixton built a swimming pool in the pleached alley in the garden and held mixed bathing parties. At about this time Lady Brixton's brother Colonel Cresswell purchased the neighbouring property of Georgie Pillson on his relocation to Tilling. See "So very little longer", Luciaphils.

Broadwood ~ maker of Lady Ambermere's piano at The Hall, "always considered a remarkably fine instrument."

Brocklebank, Mrs ~ whilst Lucia was in seclusion feigning influenza to avoid revealing lack of fluent Italian during the visit to Tilling of Contessa Amelia di Fariglione, Georgie hid his own shortcomings in la bella lingua by a week's holiday in an hotel in Folkstone.

During his stay there he met the Brocklebank family, an English father, Italian mother and girl with a pig tail. The mother was teaching the child Italian and set her little themes on which to write. When requested by Mrs Brocklebank to suggest a subject, Georgie brilliantly said "Let her write a letter to an Italian countess whom she has never seen before and say how she regretted having to put off her musical party to which she had asked the Countess and her brother because she had caught influenza. She was so sorry not to meet her, and she was afraid that as the countess was only staying a week in the place, she would not have the pleasure of seeing her at all."

Lucia was able to use the draft which she transcribed in her own hand and had delivered to the luncheon (or rather breakfast) table at Starling Cottage just as the start of the meal. The countess was overwhelmed by the beauty and authenticity of Lucia's written Italian and thus was Lucia's linguistic reputation not only saved, but enhanced.

The letter also served to defuse Miss Mapp's disclosure of just having seen Lucia energetically skipping in the secret garden at Mallards, for since Lucia was now a proven Italianophone she had no need to feign illness to avoid conversation with the contessa.

25 Brompton Square ~ grand London home of Philip Lucas's late Aunt Amy (who once bit him during a visit to her in hospital ). The freehold house with its large music room was bequeathed to Mr Lucas and occupied for a season by Lucia prior to its eventual sale. Located virtually opposite a townhouse rented by diva, Olga Bracely.

42A Brompton Square ~ house taken by Olga Bracely during her London debut in the title role as Lucretia at Covent Garden. A smaller house vitually opposite Lucia and Pepino's more imposing 25 Brompton Square.

Bronte's wedding, Charlotte ~ see Charlotte Bronte's wedding

Browning ~ Robert Browning (1812-1889) was a Victorian poet and playwright, considered a master of dramatic verse and especially dramatic monologues. As well as being a literary figure, Browning was a  romantic icon, famed for his relationship with Elizabeth Barrett-Browning. His poems included "The Lost Mistress" quoted by Benson in the context of Lucia's counterfeit flirtation with her faux lover Stephen Merriall in front of Adele Brixton after luncheon. See "So very little longer," Adele Brixton and Hermione.

Browning Society ~ when Georgie Pillson urgently wished to secure a letting of "Mallards Cottage" for August and September on the morning when he was due to leave Tilling and return to Riseholme, he found he was unable to contact Isabel Poppit, who was somewhere amidst the sand dunes, enjoying her sun bath.

Georgie and Lucia called instead on Isabel's recently re-married mother, Susan Wyse, who said, "Dear Isabel. My daughter. Out in the dunes all morning! What if a tramp came along? I say to her. But no use: she calls it the Browning Society, and she must not miss a meeting. So quick and clever! Browning, not the poet, but the action of the sun."

Georgie replied dryly , "Most amusing. With regard to 'Mallards Cottage - '"......     See Isabel Poppit and Browning.

Brunnhilde ~ favourite role of Lucia in tableaux, generally found to be uplifting, though Lucia's interpretation was not quite so acclaimed as the operatic role of the same name in which local prima donna, Olga Bracely also excelled. She performed the Salutation of Brunnhilde to her own accompaniment at Lucia's garden party at "The Hurst." Georgie often spoke to Lucia of that superb moment when Olga as Brunnhilde awoke and hailed the sun ("Heile Sonne"). Much later, when discussing arrangements for her impending wedding with Georgie, Lucia took a couple of turns up and down the garden room. She waved her arms like Brunnhilde awakening on the mountain top.

With a chequered history which, according to some authorities, included fratricide, a long battle between brothers and dealings wth the Huns, Brunnhilde (or Brynhildr) was a shield maiden and Valkyrie in Norse mythology and in the Nibelungenlied in Richard Wagner's opera cycle Der Ring des Nibelungen.

Burlington House ~ when Quaint Irene's satirical portrait of the Mapp-Flints in Victorian garb had been exhibited to great acclaim at the Royal Academy Exhibition, Elizabeth Mapp-Flint was thrilled to be the centre of attention and excitedly proposed to go to the ruinous expense of sending a telegram of congratulation to the artist, remarking "I think Burlington House, London would find her now."

Originally a private Palladian mansion, Burlington House is on Piccadilly in London. Famed as a venue for periodic, high profile exhibitions, its main building at the northern end of the courtyard is the home of the Royal Academy. Its two wings house the Geological, Linnean and Royal Astronomical Societies, the Society of Antiquaries of London and the Royal Society of Chemistry. See Royal Academy, Picture of the Year

Burma Corporation ~ company in whose shares Lucia invested from the proceeds of the sale of her stock in Siriami .

Burning Ghaut ~ when leaving the home of Daisy Quantock in Riseholme shortly after the arrival of the Indian Guru, Georgie Pillson engaged in fanciful thoughts regarding the Guru's native city of Benares.

Georgie's last backward glance as he went out of the front door revealed her standing on one leg again, which reminded him of a print of a uniped fakir in Benares. If the stream that flowed into the Avon could be construed into the Ganges, and the garden into the burning ghaut, and the swooping swallows into the kites, and the neat parlour-maid who showed him out into a Brahmin, and the Chinese gong that was so prominent an object in the hall into a piece of Benares brassware, he could almost have fancied himself as standing on the brink of the sacred river.

Based on the Hindi "ghat" (or steps), the term "ghaut" refers to a series of steps leading down to water, often a holy river, such as the stairs in Benares or Varanasi to access the Ganges. A "burning ghaut" is a level spot or funeral pyre at the top of a river ghaut, often on a levee or raised bank, on which Hindus cremate their dead. The term is used in the writings of Rudyard Kipling. See Ganges, Guru and Rudyard Kipling.

Busy indoors ~ phrase employed by Georgie to indicate that he was not available for any form of social engagement. On these solitary evenings, Georgie attended with rapt concentration to the sensitive and very personal business of dying his hair and later his Van Dyk goatee to the required delicate auburn hue.

This occurred about once a month when "even an invitation from his Queen" (Lucia not Mary one would suggest) would interrupt the business in hand. A faint suspicion of what Georgie was busy indoors about had long ago become public property in Riseholme -and later in Tilling, where powers of inductive reasoning were if anything even stronger. Although none of Georgie's friends talked about the nature of his engagements to anyone else, everybody else knew. Georgie's business indoors, in fact, was a perfect secret, simply because everybody was quite sure what it was.

On other, more intermittent, occasions the phrase was used to describe other residents of Tilling, such as when Diva Plaistow was absorbed in cutting out chintz roses from old curtains to adorn her day wear.

Butt, Clara, Dame ~ see Clara Butt, Dame

C ~ is for Cadman

2008-03-18T19:07:00.197Z

Cabalistic ~ when Daisy Quantock met Princess Popoffski in a vegetarian restaurant in London, the Princess wore some very curious rings, with large engraved amethysts and torquoises in them. Mrs Quantock asked if those finger ornaments had any mystical signification. They had: one was Gnostic, one was Rosicrucian, and the other was Cabalistic.

Derived from Kabbalah, the mystical interpretation of the Hebrew scripture, the term "cabal" originally meant either an occult doctrine or a secret. Often a secret society of the like-minded, a cabal is a group united in some design, usually to promote private views or interests, often by intrigue, insidious influence or even conspiracy. As such cabals are viewed more negatively as shadowy and suspicious than mere factions promoting an aim.  Princess Popoffski's Cabalistic ring must have related to membership of one such underhand mystical clique, so fascinating to Daisy Quantock.   See Gnosticism and Rosicrucianism.

Cadman, Harold ~ loyal chauffeur of Lucia. Married Foljambe, peerless parlourmaid of Georgie Pillson. Sometimes - confusingly - Chapman. It was Chapman, for example, who assisted Lucia in covertly practising her bicycling skills and drove her to Sheffield Castle in "Trouble for Lucia."

Cannick, Mr. ~ the grocer in Tilling.

Caporelli, Antonio ~ artist of the Venetian school, whose biography was kept on prominent display at "The Hurst" by Lucia to impress her visitors. It is uncertain whether Lucia ever started let alone finished the volume, but much enjoyed informing Georgie that in consequence she could smell the salt tide creeping up over the lagoon and see the campanile of dear Torcello.

The excuse given by Mrs Weston to return to Lucia's garden party at "The Hurst" (when her actual reason was to hear Olga Bracely sing in the smoking parlour) was that Lucia had promised to lend her the book by Antonio Caporelli (or was it Caporetto?). Mrs Weston later remarked at her dinner party for Colonel Boucher, Georgie and Olga that it was a book all about Venice and I'm sure most interesting, but I haven't had time to glance at it yet.

Confusingly, although Lucia speaks initially of the life of Caporelli, she is later referred to as putting down an Italian grammar, when Georgie entered her drawing room and covering it up with the essays of Antonio Caporelli. Thus our confusion as to whether the book is about or by the elusive Signor Caporelli is increased, as is our uncertainty as to his trade or profession - painter, essayist or perhaps both - or even neither?

My research has not yet disclosed any further conclusive details of the work of the no doubt estimable Signor Caporelli, of whose biography it appears Lucia was so fond. The nature of his career and even the identity of his vocation itself is still clouded.

Lucia's reference to the rise of the Venetian School does not assist conclusively, since there is more than one Venetian School, although the choice does seem to be narrowed down to fine art and music. Mr Caporelli might even be an invention of the fertile brain of the cultured and mischievous author.

In his splendid "Life of E. F.Benson," Brian Masters suggests that Lucia is based almost entirely on Fred's contemporary and sometime friend, the best-selling novelist Marie Corelli, about whom he maintained a scrap book of press cuttings. As well as professing to speak Italian, spouting baby-talk, playing the piano "with pitiless sincerity" and "kidnapping Shakespeare for her own," Marie Corelli claimed to be descended from the (childless) Venetian musician Arcangelo Corelli. Her real name was charmingly "Minnie Mackay". One is tempted to wonder if the references to Signor Caporelli in "Queen Lucia" might amount to a further satirical barb aimed at Fred's sometime friend?    See Venetian School

Captain Puffin ~ a plain-speaking bachelor, retired naval officer, small in stature and considered to have a fluty disagreeable laugh. A neighbour of Major Benjamin Flint in Tilling and his frequent partner for golf on the nearby links at the end of the tram line. A drinking companion of Major Flint who, when merry, even called him "Puffie"and boasted that his friend "Revolutionized the theory of navigation."

Rounds of golf for a small wager were often punctuated with disagreement regarding the game or any number of topics including contact between the ball and objects as various a worm casts and sheep droppings.

Like Major Flint, Puffin enjoyed a drink which sometimes heightened the argument and on one occasion led to a threat of a duel. Actual conflict was only avoided when both potential duellers took flight in terror to catch the early train to London only to meet at the station and settle their differences. It only subsequently emerged that cowardice had prevailed whilst in the meantime the reputation of both potential protagonists in a dispute regarding a fair lady improved no end.

Reinforced by drink, on one occasion Puffin even dared stand up to the formidable Elizabeth Mapp in the street - late on a dark foggy night. He overcame Miss Mapp's threats to publicise his drunkenness by threatening to claim that she herself was drunk -as evidenced by her feigning to post an unstamped blank envelope in the middle of the night. Eventually, when Miss Mapp had worked out and circulated news of the joint cowardice of the duellists, Puffin humiliatingly apologised to Miss Mapp and was permitted to rejoin Tilling society and enjoy his golf with Major Flint.

For some time Puffin shared somewhat garrulous evenings with Major Flint over glasses of whisky alternating between their respective cottages whilst supposedly at work on his study of Roman roads.

After bouts of depression and dizziness, sadly Puffin departed this life at home on Christmas Day. He was feared to have suffered a stroke and fell forward with his face in his soup plate. He drowned face-forward in a bowl of oxtail soup - an almost fitting end for a former sailor.

Someone of a harsh disposition might even argue that Elizabeth Mapp enjoyed the ultimate revenge for Captain Puffin's tipsy slight on that foggy night in the street in Tilling. Worrying about his friend Puffin's declining health and state of mind, Major Benjy had wanted to spend the evening with him. Miss Mapp strongly responded: You must have no jolly evening, Major Benjy. So bad for him. A little soup and a good night's rest. That's the best thing.

Had Major Benjy spent the evening with his friend it is questionable whether the drowning would have taken place. By her intervention, Miss Mapp had brought about the passing of her enemy: I dare say there may have been much that was good in Captain Puffin, that we knew nothing about. She also removed Major Benjy's best friend and would be able to spend much more time with him herself: Major Benjy will feel very lonely.

No charge was ever brought.

Cardinal Newman ~ John Henry Newman (1801-1890), eminent churchman allegedly materialized by Daisy Quantock's psychic medium Princess Popoffski. Not visible to the eye but audible to the ear, the late sainted Cardinal joined in the singing of Lead Kindly Light (composed by Newman), which the secretary requested the attendees to sing, and blessed them at the conclusion.

Originally an evangelical Anglican clergyman and academic, Newman was prominent in the High Church Oxford Movement which wished to return the Church of England to certain Catholic tenets and modes of worship. Converted to Catholicism in 1845. His major writings included "Apologia Pro Vita Sua" and "The Dream of Gerontius".

Topically, Newman was beatified by Pope Benedict XVI - a step along the path toward canonisation - during Mass in Cofton Park in Birmingham on 19 September 2010 during his State Visit to Britain.

Carlisle Holbein, the ~ when he had been persuaded by Lucia to retain his beard, grown during a painful attack of shingles, Georgie went to his barber in Hastings for a discrete trim and for it to be dyed to the required shade of auburn "as a temporary measure until it resumed its usual colour."

On his way back in the car, he checked his appearance in a hand-glass "for he felt as if a total stranger with a seventeenth century face was sharing the car with him, and his agitated consciousness suggested that anyone looking at him at all closely would conclude that this lately discovered Vandyk (like the Carlisle Holbein) was a very doubtful piece."

The meaning of the "Carlisle Holbein" is not entirely clear. It might refer to the highly controversial gift to the National Gallery in 1909 by an anonymous woman of Hans Holbein's portrait of Christina of Denmark.

Although the donation was rumoured to have been made by an American millionairess, Consuelo Vanderbilt, lately the Duchess of Marlborough, it transpired that it was made by Rosalind Frances Stanley, the staunch liberal and feminist, who in 1889 had became Countess of Carlisle and chatelaine of Castle Howard.

In 1911, Lady Rosalind Carlisle made a further donation to the National Gallery by selling the Adoration of the Kings by Jan Goessart or Mabuse for the reduced price of £40,000. The reference to "a very doubtful piece" seems to question the merits or authenticity of that particular Holbein in a way not wholly appropriate to the portrait of Christina of Denmark and further clarification of this irritatingly opaque reference seems required.

Carlyle ~ when Georgie was consulting Lucia upon the reply to be given to Lady Ambermere's demand for £50 for the loss of Queen Charlotte's mittens in the fire which consumed the Riseholme Museum, Lucia turned over the leaves of her newspaper. She referred to a sale at Pemberton's Auction Rooms in Knightsbridge the previous day at which various odds and ends of trumpery had been sold, including the autograph of Crippen, riding gaiters once owned by King George IV, a mother of pearl brooch belonging to the wife of the poet Mr Robert Montgomery and a pair of razors belonging to Carlyle.

Scottish satirical writer, essayist , historian and teacher, Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) was an eminent and controversial commentator on issues pertaining to the scientific, moral and political changes combining to destabilise social order. With a strictly Calvinist background but having lost his Christian faith, Carlyle's insights resonated with his Victorian readership. Like Mrs Montgomery's brooch, it is unclear how his razors came to be offered for sale in Knightsbridge. See Robert Montgomery.

Caroline Mapp, Aunt ~ Aunt of Elizabeth Mapp who bequeathed Mallards to her niece in her will. Probably less close to her beneficiary in life than the fortunate legatee claimed.

Cassandra ~ when she had acquired "Mallards" Lucia planned her future studies of the Greek tragedians and presenting tableaux in the garden room. She contemplated doubling the parts of Cassandra and Clytemnestra.

Cassandra (meaning: she who entangles men) was the daughter of King Priam and Queen Hecuba of Troy and sister of Hector. Granted the gift of prophesy, she foresaw destruction of Troy and the deaths of herself and Agamemnon. After the fall of Troy, sheltering in the temple of Athena she was abducted and raped by Ajax the Lesser. She was then taken as a concubine by Agamemnon and was later murdered with Agamemnon by his wife Clytemnestra and her lover Aegisthus. According to some sources, Cassandra and Agamemnon had twin boys Teledamus and Pelops, both of whom were also killed by Aegisthus. A hard life. See Agamemnon.

Cat, Elizabeth Mapp's ~ see Puss-Cat.

Cat, Lucia's, La gatta Lucianese ~ Lucia owned a Persian cat whilst in Riseholme. It's name seems not to have been divulged. It did once create a false alarm that the Guru was coming on the very morning that his flight from The Hurst was discovered, but it turned out that the feline was just having a quarrel with some dead laurel leaves.

Perhaps the crumbling laurel leaves symbolised the death of the Guru's former heroic reputation. Such symbolism would hardly have been characteristic of EFB, unless meant satirically, and, on balance, it is more likely that they were just a cat's plaything. Sometimes a leaf is just a leaf.

Catherine the Great ~ prior to taking office as Mayor of Tilling, Lucia was expressing self-important doubts over the extent to which she should continue to join in everyday life, such as daily shopping in the High Street. On balance, she considered she should since "in my new position, it will be incumbent on me to know what Tilling is thinking and feeling. My finger must be on the pulse."

When Lucia referred to a biography she had recently dipped into and which had impressed her, Georgie responded, intending to be humorous, that it concerned Catherine the Great. Lucia responded, "Yes: I shall forget my own name next. She always had her finger on the pulse of her people: that I maintain was the real source of her greatness." Lucia then went on about Catherine's propensity for disguising herself to keep her finger on the said pulse and Georgie soon became bored with her and this preposterous rubbish.

When Lucia found she would no longer be invited to play bridge with her intimes in Tilling unless she did so for the usual modest stakes, she eventually backed down and thoroughly enjoyed herself with a surcharged chat on local topics - save when she mistook an unexpected request from "her" Inspector Morrison to sign a summons, for a police raid: it almost intoxicated Lucia who now for weeks had not partaken of that heady beverage, and she felt more than ever like Catherine the Great.

Under the direct auspices of the energetic and charismatic Catherine II (1729 - 1796) the Russian empire grew, improved its administration and modernized along western lines to become recognised as one of the great powers of Europe. As recorded, her private life was far more hectic than would have been deemed seemly for the Mayor of Tilling.

Causton Mr ~ Lucia's solicitor in Tilling - he gave Georgie news of his entitlement under Lucia's will when Lucia was thought drowned at sea with Miss Mapp - before their miraculous safe return

Cecco (Francesco) di Faraglione, Count ~ Italian count resident in Capri. Husband of Amelia and brother in law of Algernon Wyse. The name of the Count's charming mistress is not disclosed.

Cecilia, Saint ~ see Parry and Infelicities.

Chaldean astronomer ~ whilst in London, Georgie Pillson was updating Luica on events in Riseholme in her absence. He explained that Daisy Quantock had been having some most remarkable experiences. "She got a ouija board and a planchette - we use the planchete most - and very soon it was quite clear that messages were coming through from a guide."

Lucia laughed with a shrill metallic note of rather hostile timbre saying, "Dear Daisy. If only she would take commonsense as her guide. I suppose the guide is a Chaldean astrologer or King Nebuchadnezzar."

A marshy Mesopotamian land in what is now southern Iraq, Chaldea was settled by tribes which became known as Chaldeans or Chaldees from the 8th.century BC. The mysterious Chaldeans were famed as astrologers, magicians and sages. Two noted figures were Belshazzar and Nebuchadnezzar, who reigned in the 7th century BC. Keen observers and mathematicians, the Chaldeans recognized that events in the heavens followed a pattern with stars in a fixed order and planets moving in eccentric orbits and coherent cycles. In Chaldea, during the reign of King Assurbanipal, the charting of the patterns of the planets began and the first tables of planetary motion or ephemeridae were constructed.Sarcastic though her remark was intended to be, a Chaldean astrologer might well have made a useful spirit guide, but as it was, Daisy was well satisfied with her Egyptian, Abfou. See Abfou, Daisy Quantock and King Nebuchadnezzar.

Chamber, Star ~ see Star Chamber

The Chantrey Bequest ~ Delighted at the attention heaped upon her after the painting satirising her and Major Benjy in Victorian garb had received such acclaim at the Royal Academy Exhibition, Elizabeth Mapp-Flint asked Lucia "to persuade Irene to let us have the picture for our exhibition here, when the Academy's over, unless the Chantrey Bequest buys it straight away."

The Chantrey Bequest dates back to the Will of 31 December 1840 of Sir F L Chantrey RA who wished a national collection of British art to be built up. Under the Will on the death or remarriage of his widow, his residuary personal estate would pass in trust for the President and Trustees of the Royal Academy with the income to be devoted to the encouragement of British fine art in painting and sculpture only, by the purchase of works of fine art of the highest merit.

Lady Chantrey died in 1875 and two years later funds became available for the purchase of paintings and sculptures. The capital sum was £105,000. In 1897, when the Tate Gallery was built, all the 85 works purchased to date were handed over and housed there. It became a great honour for an artist to have a picture purchased under the terms of the Chantrey Bequest: as one critic put it, "a magic pronouncement, for to be bought for the nation means more than an incidental honour; it meant that all future work that artist does will be anxiously looked for, given due regard when it appears, and that there will be meted towards even its shortcomings generous judgement."

Chapman ~ see Cadman.

Charlotte, Queen ~ Lady Cornelia Ambermere loaned to Riseholme Museum a pair of somewhat moth-eaten mittens, which reputedly belonged to Queen Charlotte.The gloves sadly perished in the conflagration which consumed the Museum and its contents.

Wife of King George III (1738-1820), Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz (1744-1818) is considered by some authorities to be directly descended from Margarita de Castro y Sousa, a black branch of the Portuguese Royal House. She was not only Queen Consort of the United Kingdom, but Electress Consort of Hanover until the "promotion" of her husband to King of Hanover in 1814, whereupon she became Queen Consort of Hanover too. George III and Charlotte had 15 children, of whom 13 survived to adulthood. A keen amateur botanist, Charlotte helped expand Kew Gardens. She was also an enthusiastic patroness of the arts, notably music. Buried at St George's Chapel Windsor, Charlotte is the second longest serving consort, at 57 years and 70 days, after the present Duke of Edinburgh. No other mention of Queen Charlotte's mittens, or any other manual apparel, appears in portraiture or official documentation, so their actual existence must, at best, be considered moot. See Queen Charlotte's mittens.

Charlotte Bronte's wedding ~ when discussing with Lucia the scale of their impending nuptials, Georgie said, "Darling (they had settled to allow themselves this verbal endearment), I think, no I'm sure, that Tilling would be terribly disappointed if you didn't allow this to be a great occasion. You must remember who you are, and what you are to Tilling."

Lucia replied "I was turning up only yesterday the account to Charlotte Bronte's wedding. Eight o' clock in the morning, and only two of her most intimate friends present. No one of the folk at Hawarth even knew she was being married that day. So terribly 'chic' somehow when one remembers her world-wide fame. I am not comparing myself to Charlotte - don't think that - but I have got a touch of her exquisite delicacy in shunning publicity. My public life, darling, must and does belong to Tilling, but not my private life."

Lucia's version of the facts was accurate. Charlotte Bronte was married Arthur Bell Nicholls on the 29th. June 1854. The wedding was of the quietest and the bride dressed in soft white with no colour about her save green leaves, looking as one who was there told Mrs Gaskell, like a snow drop. After a honeymoon in Ireland, married life lasted only 8 months and sadly Charlotte Bronte died at Howarth on 31 March 1855, at 38 years of age.

After only a little persuasion from Georgie, the example of Charlotte Bronte faded out in Lucia's mind, vanishing in a greater brightness.

Chatelaine of Mallards House ~ phrase often used in the Hampshire Argus to describe Lucia - to the intense irritation of its former occupier, Elizabeth Mapp.

Chekov ~ See Tchekov.

Chela ~ a word originating from the Indian sub-continent meaning "disciple". Thus, the guru was a teacher and Daisy (and later half of Riseholme) was his "chela". Lucia divined this by looking through some books by Rudyard Kipling.

Chequers ~ when Lucia was engaged in a spectacular bout of "networking" during her weekend as the guest of Adele Brixton, the Prime Minister arrived, and she said how lovely Chequers must be looking. She did not annex him, she just hovered and hinted, and made no direct suggestion, and sure enough, within five minutes he had asked if she knew Chequers. Of course, she did, but only as a tourist - and so one thing led to another. It would be a nice break in her long drive down to Riseholme on Tuesday to lunch at Chequers, and not more than forty miles out of her way.

A country house at the foot of the Chiltern Hills near Ellesborough to the south of Aylesbury in Buckinghamshire, Chequers has been the country residence of the Prime Minister since it was donated to the nation by Lord and Lady Lee of Fareham by the Chequers Estate Act 1917. A stained glass window in the long gallery of the house, commissioned by the donors, is inscribed "This house of peace and ancient memories was given to England as a thank-offering for her deliverance in the great war of 1914-1918 as a place of rest and recreation for her Prime Ministers for ever."

Cherry lips ~ in high summer season, the area outside "Mallards" was thronged with artists seeking to capture the myriad quaintnesses with which it abounded. Opposite the church-and-chimney-artists would sit others, drawing the front door itself (difficult), and moistening their pencils at their cherry lips, while a little farther down the street was another battalion hard at work at the gabled front of the garden-room and its picturesque bow.

As a well read and educated man, one imagines Benson's very thoughts at any given moment were often effortlessly peppered with classical, literary and biblical references. Here in referring to "cherry lips" it appears he has, perhaps even unconsciously, quoted from Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream", Act 5, Scene 1, where, in the play put on by the rude mechanicals, the wall that separates the houses of their families has a chink in it and the young lovers can talk in secrecy; Thisbe says to Pyramus:

"O wall, full often hast thou heard my moans,
For parting my fair Pyramus and me!
My cherry lips have often kiss'd thy stones,
Thy stones with lime and hair knit up in thee."
See Pyramus and Thisbe.

Chesterfield terms ~ invitations to breakfast (his term for luncheon) or dinner from Algernon Wyse were couched in politely expressed Chesterfield terms: Mr Wyse said he had met a mutual friend just now who informed him that you were in residence and encouraged him to hope that you might give him the pleasure of your company etc.

In Tilling this was considered an alluring diction, since it presented the image of Mr Wyse stepping briskly home again, quite heartened by this chance encounter and no longer the prey to melancholy at the thought that you might not give him the joy. In consequence his offers of hospitality were seldom, if ever, declined.

"Children dear, was it yesterday?" ~   from her bow window Elizabeth Mapp had noted Mrs Poppit waddling down the street and disappearing around the corner on her way to the dentist or Mr Wyse's house. With a sense of fatigue Miss Mapp recalled the fact that she had seen the housemaid cleaning Mr Wyse's windows yesterday - (Children dear, was it yesterday?) - and had noted her industry and drawn from it the irresistible conclusion that Mr Wyse was probably expected home.

Benson's playful - if not downright, coy - insertion in parenthesis is a quotation from "The Forsaken Merman"  (as in, the masculine of mermaid, rather than Broadway diva) by poet, cultural critic and Inspector of Schools, Matthew Arnold (1822-1888), the son of Thomas Arnold, famous head of Rugby School:

"COME, dear children, let us away;
Down and away below.
Now my brothers call from the bay;
Now the great winds shoreward blow;
Now the salt tides seaward flow;
Now the wild white horses play,
Champ and chafe and toss in the spray.
Children dear, let us away.
This way, this way!
Children dear, was it yesterday
We heard the sweet bells over the bay? "

See Villeggiatura.

Chintz roses ~ thrifty and inventive Diva Plaistow had the idea of trimming the broad collar and cuffs of a jacket, skirt and belt with bunches of pink roses cut from old curtains. Before she could complete her work, Miss Mapp literally got wind if the idea when a couple of roses fluttered out of Diva's window into her hands and archly decided to pre-empt her. She did so by trimming her own corn coloured skirt with bright red poppies and appearing about Tilling to display her handiwork. Enraged, Miss Plaistow topped her rival by dressing her parlour maid Janet in her outfit trimmed with roses making it impossible for Miss Mapp to continue to model her new garment. After an interval the protagonists cooled down and withdrew both newly trimmed garments for their own personal wear and thus an Armistice was reached in the Wars of the Chintz Roses.   See Wars of the Roses

Chippendale ~ humorous touches abounded in the decor of "The Hurst," the home of Philip and Emmeline (Peppino/Pepino and Lucia) Lucas in Riseholme. They were altered from time to time and so the fearfully authentic furry Japanese spider in a silk web might be taken down and replaced by a china canary (perhaps fashioned in Copenhagen china like Lucia's faux doves in her dovecote) in a Chippendale cage. In Riseholme, Georgie Pillson owned a Chippendale sofa. There were reputed to be some fine Chinese Chippendale chairs in the dining room of the house of Pepino's late Aunt Amy at 25 Brompton Square. Lucia noted the large wardrobe in her guest bedroom at Adele Brixton's country house in Essex was Chippendale.

Thomas Chippendale (1718-1779) was a London cabinet maker and furniture designer in the mid-Georgian roccoco and subsequent neo-classical style. He published the hugely influential "The Gentleman and Cabinet Maker's Director" in 1754, which was revised and enlarged in 1762. His designs grew popular again during the second half of the nineteenth century, which saw a significant revivial of the style to which his name was attached, with varying degrees of authenticity.

Chocolate cakes ~ With an eye to economy, if not hospitality, Miss Mapp made a point of purchasing certain delicacies for her bridge parties, more particularly little chocolate cakes. She had lately discovered that, although they looked very small and innocent, they were in reality of so cloying and substantial a nature, that the partaker therof would probably not feel capable of making any serious inroads into her other provisions. Although these substantial chocolate cakes did their fell work in producing a sense of surfeit, obliging Elizabeth's guests to drop off gorged from the tea table, Diva Plaistow fortunately remembered their consistency in time, and nearly cleared a plate of jumbles instead, which the hostess had hoped would form a pleasant accompaniment to her dessert at supper that evening.

Chopin, Frederic ~ After a morning in the viewing gallery at the Divorce Court enjoying the notorious Shyton divorce case, Lucia returned to 25 Brompton Square to entertain Adele Brixton to lunch. Lucia chatted animatedly about the case and sided wholly with Babs Shyton and Lord Middlesex, affectionately known as "Woof-dog". Lucia suggested that it was "a pure and beautiful affection between Babs and Woof-dog, such as any woman, even if she was happily married might be proud to enjoy. There can be no doubt of Lord Middlesex's devotion to her, and really - I hope this does not shock you- what their relations were concerns nobody but them. George Sands and Chopin, you know. Nelson and Lady Hamilton."

Romantic Polish composer and virtuoso pianist Frederic Chopin (1810-1849) wrote many innovative and technically demanding works for solo piano, two piano concertos, chamber pieces and various songs. Between 1837 and 1847 he was famously involved in a relationship with George Sand. After a lifetime of ill health he died penniless in Paris at the age of only 39. See Babs Shyton, Lord Middlesex, George Sands, Lord Nelson and Lady Hamilton.

Christian Science ~ an enthusiasm of Daisy Quantock superseded by many others including yoga and spiritualism. Although it prompted in her the determination to deny the existence of pain, disease and death as regards herself, Mrs Quantock was always full of the gloomiest views as regards her many friends in Riseholme.

The system of thought and practice known as Christian Science, practised by the members of the First Church of Christ Scientist was derived from the writings of Mary Baker Eddy and the Bible. The Christian Science textbook of 1875, "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" by Mary Baker Eddy describes the teachings and healings of Jesus as a complete and coherent science, which is both demonstrable and provable through healing. Christian Scientists assert that man and the universe as a whole are spiritual rather than material in nature and that truth and good are real, whereas evil and error are illusory aspects of material existence. Also, through prayer, knowing and understanding, all things are possible for good through God.

Christmas cards ~ see Xmas cards

Christmas festivities ~ see Xmas festivities

Church Road ~ residential road in Riseholme, adjacent to The Green on which were located the homes of Georgie Pillson, Mrs Jane Weston and "Old Place," latterly the residence of Olga Bracely.

Clara Butt ~ Lucia was practising the slow movement of the "Moonlight Sonata" in Tilling church, with Georgie on the pedals, in preparation for the recital and service of dedication of the organ. With one hand Lucia played the triplets on the swell and the solo tune with the other on the vox humana. The plaintive throaty bleating of the vox humana was enervatingly lovely, and Lucia's America cloth eyes grew veiled with moisture,"So heart broken. A lovely contralto tone. Like Clara Butt is it not? The passionate despair of it. Fresh courage coming. So noble."

Dame Clara Butt, DBE (sometimes Butt-Rumford after her marriage in 1900) (1872 - 1936) was an English contralto with a remarkably imposing voice and surprisingly agile singing technique. Formidable vocally and in stature, at 6 feet 2 inches tall, Dame Clara was a popular recording artist and concert singer, touring widely and only ever appearing twice in operatic productions - of Gluck's "Orfeo ed Euridice" in 1892 and 1920. Elgar composed "Sea Pictures" for contralto and orchestra with her in mind and she premiered the work in 1899. Not all "serious musicians" seem to have admired her "populist approach to her art" or her booming contralto, which was mistaken by some for a man's on some recordings. Sir Thomas Beecham once said jokingly of Dame Clara that :"On a clear day you could have heard her across the English Channel" (perhaps particularly from Rye or Tilling?)

Clear white soul ~ when Daisy Quantock introduced Georgie Pillson to the Indian Guru, the Guru replied, "Beloved lady, I know him very well indeed. I see into his clear white soul. Peace be unto you, my friend." This pleased Georgie very much. The designation may have been devalued somewhat when soon afterwards, the Guru also opined that Robert Quantock had "a pure white soul"  and that Daisy to had "white soul." It appears that the term raised no issues of political correctness in the 1930's.    See Guru and Yoga.

Clumps ~ at her first informal "romp" at her new home in Riseholme, "Old Place", Olga Bracely suggested, "Now lets play clumps. Does everyone know clumps? If they don't, they will find out."

Clumps is a parlour game of question and answer. At her romp, Olga arranged one game of clumps before supper, "Let's see. There are enough for four clumps. Please make four clumps everybody, and - will you and two more go out with Mr Georgie, Mrs Lucas? We will be as quick as we can and we won't think of anything that will make Mr Georgie blush. Oh, there he is! He heard!"

Mrs Quantock was the first to guess Beethoven's little toe on this right foot, which made Lucia wince.   See Cock-fighting

Clytemnestra ~ when planning tableaux based on classical Greece to be staged at "Mallards,"Lucia ambitiously considered doubling the parts of Cassandra and Clytemnestra.

Daughter of Tyndarus and Leda, Clytemnestra (meaning "famed for her suitors") was the legendary wife of Agamemnon, king of Mycenae or Argos. She was the mother of Iphigenia, Orestes, Chrysothemis and Electra. Whilst her husband was away in Troy she began an affair with Aegisthus. In the "Oresteia" by Aescyllus, she subsequently murdered Agememenon and the Trojan princess Cassandra, though she has a "better press" in Homer's Odyssey. See Agamemnon and Cassandra

Cobblers at home, the ~ rather a feature amongst the ladies of Riseholme; it took place when a social evening was drawing to a close, before guests left to return home. Ladies would assemble in the cloakroom to remove their smart indoor evening foot-wear, such as satin pumps, which had been carried there in a neat paper parcels and replace them with stout waterproof walking-boots, better able to withstand any inclemency when re-crossing the Green.

Cock-fighting ~ at Olga Bracely's informal romp at "Old Place", nobody noticed when Saturday ended and Sunday began, for Georgie and Colonel Boucher were cock-fighting on the floor, Georgie screaming out 'How tarsome!' when he was upset and Colonel Boucher, very red in the face saying 'Haw hum! Never thought I should romp again like this . By Jove, most amusing!'

The game in question did not involve real fowl. It was a boisterous contest between Georgie and the Colonel. Each would squat on the floor, with arms folded, and try to knock the other over by force, without the use of their hands: a surprisingly tiring and energetic pursuit for those past the first flush of youth.   See Clumps

Coles, Irene, Quaint ~ see Quaint Irene Coles

Collectedness ~ Daisy Quantock advised Georgie Pillson that "collectedness" seemed to be a sort of mixture of intense concentration and complete vacuity of mind. Georgie soon appreciated that to get the best out of the planchette and to obtain communication from Abfou, "You seem to have to concentrate your mind upon nothing at all".

Colonel Boucher, Jacob ~ see Jacob Boucher, Colonel.

Colonel Cresswell ~ Adele Brixton's brother, tenant and subsequent purchaser of Georgie Pillson's house fronting the Green in Riseholme on his relocation to Tilling.

Colonel Shyton ~ see Shyton, Colonel.

"Come, live with me" ~ towards the end of Olga Bracely's dinner party at her newly acquired, "Old Place" at which she had cannily shepherded her neighbours Jane Weston and Jacob Boucher towards matrimony, Olga said she would sing, unless anybody minded, and called upon Georgie to accompany her. She stood just behind him, leaning over him sometimes with her hand on his shoulder, and sang those ruthless simple English songs appropriate to the matter in hand. She sang "I attempt from love's sickness to fly," Sally in our Alley" and "Come live with me."

The poem "The Passionate Shepherd to his Love" by the English dramatist, spy and poet, Christopher Marlowe (1564 - 1593) begins:

"Come live with me and be my Love,
And we will all the pleasures prove
That hills and valleys, dale and field,
and all the craggy mountains yield."

The works of distinguished composer of the Romantic School, Sir William Sterndale Bennett (1816 - 1875) total some 80 published compositions, including the overture, The Naiades Op15, the Chamber Trio Op 26 and Piano Concerto No.4 Op 19. His songs include Six Songs: first set Op23, Six Songs: second set, Op35, Maiden Mine Op.47 and Part song: Come live with me. See "I attempt from love's sickness to fly," and Sally in our Alley."

"Come thou north wind, and blow thou south" ~ Lucia seated herself in the garden of "The Hurst" in Riseholme, by the sundial, all in black, on a stone bench on which was carved the motto, " Come thou north wind, and blow thou south, that my garden spices may flow forth."

The lines orignal lines in Chapter 4, Verse 16, Song of Solomon: Song of songs are:

Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.

Commination service ~ after her "Mallards House"-warming lunch, Lucia listened to several of her guests discussing the sequence of events in Elizabeth Mapp-Flint's very phantom pregnancy. Lucia brought the unanimous, scathing critique to a close by suggesting that Aristophanes had summed up the phenomenon with typical Attic wit, with the delicious and untranslatable phrase that it was only a wind-egg.

Rather awed by her superhuman magnanimity, the conductors of the Commination service dispersed without further comment.

The 1662 Book of Common Prayer directs that on Ash Wednesday, the Commination service shall be held, marking the beginning of Lent. In the Church of England, commination is a recital of prayers, including a list of god's judgements against sinners, in the office.

Not strictly speaking an ancient service, the preface in the Prayer book explains that in the Primitive Church there was a godly discipline that at the beginning of Lent such persons as were convicted of notorious sin were put to open penance and punished in this world that their souls might be saved in the day of the Lord and that others admonished by their example might be more afraid to offend. But instead of this potentially humiliating rite, in the Commination the congregation mercifully makes a more general self-accusation.

Thus, in his typically referential and economic way, Benson suggests that Elizabeth had been well and truly found out in her feigned pregnancy with all the attention and favours she falsely obtained from it. Not only had her sins been fully discussed by the whole of her circle, she had suffered the ultimate ignominy of the very public, unconditional magnanimity of Lucia for her manifest transgressions. See wind-egg.

Conclave of Cardinals ~ for the week after the dinner party at "Mallards House," tension as to the new Mayoress increased to a point almost unbearable, for Lucia, like the Pythian Oracle in unfavourable circumstances, remained dumb as to the person to be appointed, waiting for Elizabeth Mapp-Flint to implore her. As at an inconclusive sitting of the Conclave of Cardinals for the election of he Pontiff, no announcement came from the precinct. Every evening, since the weather was growing chilly, a column of dark smoke curled out of the chimney of the garden room - and Elizabeth, Evie, Diva and Susan longed for the slightest hint of white smoke to bring their anxiety to an end.

When there is a vacancy in the office, the College of Cardinals is convened as a Papal Conclave to elect by a two-thirds majority a Bishop of Rome, who becomes Pope, the successor to St Peter and head of the Catholic Church. The Conclave is the oldest known method of choosing a leader of an institution ongoing. See Pythian Oracle.

Consequences ~ Lucia and Georgie Pillson were enjoying being scathing at the temerity of Daisy Quantock in offering Lucia the role of Drake's wife in the forthcoming Riseholme Pageant. Georgie felt it was the most ludicrous thing he had ever heard and Lucia, not more ludicrous than her being Queen Elizabeth adding," Daisy on a palfrey addressing her troops! Georgie dear, think of it ! It sounds like that rather vulgar game called 'Consequences.'"

In similar vein to the surrealist game Exquisite Corpse and Mad Libs, Consequences is a parlour game traditionally played by writing words on a piece of paper, folding it to hide the previous words and passing it on to the next player. Nine or so questions are usually in the following order:    1. Adjective for man, 2. Man's name 3. Adjective for woman 4. Woman's name 5. Where they met 6. He said to her  7. She said to him 8. The consequence was, and 9. What the world said. In theory, if all has gone well, the resultant sentence is then read out to a positive tumult of merriment, jollity and hilarity and everyone is simply thrilled. See palfrey.

Contadina's umbrella ~ on returning to Riseholme from London, Emmeline Lucas took a turn in the garden at "The Hurst" before luncheon. She had laid aside her London hat, and carried a red cotton Contadina's umbrella which threw a rosy glow on the oval of her thin face with its colourless complexion.

A Contadina is a female Italian peasant or perhaps, more lyrically, "a woman of the fields." With her taste for la bella lingua, as well as many other things Italianate, it is apt that Lucia's taste in umbrellas extended to the country which gave rise to the term, viz ombrella, in Italian the diminutive of ombra, shade.

Coo-ee ~ an Australian ejaculation, learned on his voyages, favoured by Captain Puffin

Copenhagen china ~ The very Elizabethan garden of "The Hurst", the very Elizabethan home of Peppino/Pepino and Lucia Lucas in Riseholme, boasted a dovecote "of course". Since the cats always killed the doves, Lucia had put up round the desecrated home several pigeons of Copenhagen china, which were both immortal as regards cats and also carried on the suggestion of humour in furniture (which had attained the highest point of felicity when Pepino concealed a mechanical nightingale in a bush which sang "Jug-jug" in the most realisitic manner when you pulled a string.)

Georgie had not yet seen the Copenhagen pigeons and, being rather short-sighted, thought they were real. Then, Pepino pulled the string and for quite a long time Georgie listened entranced to their melodious cooings.

The Royal Copenhagen or Royal Porcelain Factory was founded in Copenhagen on 1 May 1775 by pharmacist Frantz Heinrich Muller (1738-1820), under the protection of Queen Juliane Marie. Muller was given a 50 year monopoly to create porcelain and the first pieces were dining services for the royal family. Its products featured a distinctive factory mark of three wavy lines symbolising Denmark's three straits: Oresund, the Great Belt and Little Belt. See "Humour in Furniture"

Cophetua, King ~ role played by Georgie in impromptu tableaux opposite Lucia's beggar maid, both requiring a certain suspension of disbelief on the part of the audience. The part was also essayed by Major Benjy in the tableaux presented at Lucia's hospital fete in the garden at Mallards during her initial summer letting. According to tradition, Cophetua was the governor of a Greek colony in North Africa. Although not previously known as a ladies' man. After he married her, they lived happily and were eventually buried in the same tomb.

Coplen ~ gardener of Elizabeth Mapp at Mallards who commented "Coplen is not clever". Sometimes, Coglen.

Cor anglais ~ Lucia and Georgie were in Tilling church practising the slow movement of the "Moonlight Sonata," which they were to perform at the recital during the service of dedication of the organ, rebuilt at Lucia's expense. Lucia confirmed "I am putting in a beautiful cor anglais." Picking up a pipe, she blew through it,"A lovely tone. It reminds me of the last act of "Tristan," does it not, where the shepherd boy goes on playing the cor anglais for ever and ever. "The cor anglais is a woodwind instrument, part of the oboe family whose sound is recreated in the organ. See Vox humana, Bourdon, Diapason and "Tristan und Isolde."

Cortese, Antonio Signor ~ famous Neapolitan composer and conductor. His English wife was a cousin of Poppy, Duchess of Sheffield, who lived at Sheffield Castle close to Riseholme. Once described by Lucia as like a huge hairdresser. His touch on the piano: if you can imagine a wild bull hitting the keys, you will have some idea of it. Her view of him softened as his renown increased.

Wrote Lucretia specially for prima donna, Olga Bracely and subsequently Diane de Poictiers.

Cortese, Dorothea, Signora ~ English wife of Italian composer Cortese, who spoke not a word of Italian. A weekend guest at the home of Olga Bracely in Riseholme coinciding, in part, with Georgie's stay, but arriving after the departure of Lucia. A cousin of Poppy, Duchess of Sheffield.

Cortot ~ famous classical pianist and renowned interpreter of Beethoven. On one memorable occasion, Lucia publicly criticised a rendition of the Moonlight Sonata on the listening-in (or wireless) at Olga Bracely's Old Place by contrasting it unfavourably with Cortot's interpretation, when it was Cortot playing all along. See Moonlight Sonata.

Coruscations ~ Just as Miss Mapp had objected to Lucia's agreement to host the fete in aid of Tilling hospital in the garden, during her summer lease of "Mallards," Diva Plaistow was unhappy at the prospect of Miss Mapp's jumble sale in her home, "Wasters." She argued, "It's not the same thing. Providing beautiful tableaux in your garden is quite different from using my panelled hall to sell kettles and coal-scuttles with holes in them."

Miss Mapp replied that she "could find a good many holes in the tableaux." Diva could think of no adequate verbal retort to such coruscations, so for answer she merely picked up the tongs, the coal- scuttle, the candlestick and the inkstand, and put them back in the cupboard from which she had just taken them and left her tenant to sparkle by herself.

To coruscate is to sparkle, glitter or give forth flashes of light and, by extension, to exhibit sparkling virtuosity - or perhaps wit.

Cosmic Consciousness ~ the Cosmic Consciousness of Tilling is mentioned surprisingly often. It appears to comprise a communal understanding arising from inductive reasoning or simple intuition.

It involved primarily the ladies of the town. Sometimes it strayed over to the gentlemen and just occurred, unbidden - as when on the morning of his aborted duel, from somewhere in the Cosmic Consciousness there came to Major Flint the thought that the first train to London started at half-past six in the morning.

On other occasions, the Cosmic Consciousness of Tilling applied reason to determine what might have happened as between the potential duellists amidst the sand dunes, whilst at a less analytical and cerebral extreme Evie Bartlett ran about like a mouse from group to group picking up crumbs of Cosmic Consciousness. See Epistle to the Hebrews.

Cosy Corner ~ see Little Slam

Coward, Noel ~ when Lucia was planning the syllabus of her series of improving lectures to be delivered at the Literary Institute in Tilling, she asked Mr Noel Coward to speak on the technique of the modern stage.

Unfortunately he was unable to accept for any of the five nights offered to him. Lucia was surprised that he and Mr Desmond McCarthy should not have welcomed the opportunity to get more widely known.

Playwright, composer, director and actor Sir Noel Peirce Coward (1899 - 1973) was perhaps the most successful and glamorous figure in London and Broadway theatre between the wars. Early successes such as "The Vortex" and "Fallen Angels" were followed by "Hay Fever", "Private Lives", "Present Laughter" and "Blithe Spirit." His work in the musical theatre included a series of comic revues, operettas and myriad songs, plus poetry, a novel, several volumes of short stories and autobiography. Coward's literary, stage and film career went on to span six decades of which much preceded the publication of "Lucia's Progress" and a great deal was to follow. Although Coward was unable to oblige Lucia by lecturing in Tilling, his admiration for the Mapp and Lucia canon is recorded. See Desmond McCarthy, John Gielgud and Sir Henry Wood.

Coue ~ when Georgie Pillson had secretly determined, but not announced, his decision to sell his home in Riseholme to Colonel Cresswell and move to Tilling, he pretended to his luncheon companions that he was depressed to be leaving, "It's too tarsome of you all to go on about the lovely things you're going to do. Callisthenic classes and Homer and bridge, and poor me far away. I shall tell myself every morning that I hate Tilling; I shall say like Coue 'Day by day in every way, I dislike it more and more,' until I've convinced myself that I shall be glad to go."

Emile Coue de Chataigneraie (1857 - 1926) was a French psychologist and pharmacist who introduced a method of psychotherapy and self-improvement based on optimistic autosuggestion typically applying his mantra-like conscious autosuggestion; Every day in every way, I'm getting better and better/ Tous les jours a tous points de vue je vais de mieux en mieux.

Crimson-lake ~ after the debacle of publicly appearing in precisely the same design of tea gown favoured by Mrs Titus W. Trout in a fetching kingfisher blue as her neighbour Diva Plaistow, Miss Mapp sent the offending garment back to Miss Greele to be dyed. It returned a brilliant crimson-lake that seemed almost to cast a ruddy glow on the very ceiling. The orange chiffon with which the neck and sleeves were trimmed was dyed black following the exquisite taste of Mrs Trout and threw the splendour of the rest into more dazzling radiance. Unfortunately, Miss Plaistow had exactly the same idea and history repeated itself - again very publicly. The sequence of clashes ended when Diva had the gown dyed yet again -to jet black - leaving Miss Mapp as uncontested Lady of the Crimson-lake.

Crippen ~ when Georgie Pillson had confined himself to "Mallards Cottage" during a painful and embarassing attack of shingles, there was much discussion as to the reason for his withdrawal from the life of Tilling. Typically, Quaint Irene conjectured that Foljambe had murdered him and was burying him below the brick pillar in his back garden. She said to Lucia, "But it might be so beloved. Such things do happen and why not in Tilling? Think of Crippen and Belle Elmore . Let's suppose Foljambe gets through with the burial today and replaces the pillar then she'll go up there tomorrow morning just as usual and tell the police that Georgie has disappeared. Really I don't see what else it can be."

Hawley Harvey Crippen (1862 -1910) was an American homeopathic physician hanged in Pentonville prison for the murder of his wife, Cora Henrietta Crippen, whose stage name was Belle Elmore. Arrested with his alleged accomplice Ethel le Neve fleeing across the Atlantic, he was the first criminal to be arrested with the aid of wireless communication.

Crow, Ahab ~ former servant of Colonel Boucher in Riseholme. Married a Miss Jackdaw.

Crystal Palace ~   Lucia had feigned influenza and gone into purdah to avoid meeting Amelia, Contessa di Faraglione on her visit to her brother and sister-in-law, Algernon and Susan Wyse. Georgie, who had been sent away to Folkstone for the same reason, cleverly helped their credibility enormously by sending to Lucia a draft letter of apology in perfect Italian, produced by a girl in the his hotel under the tutelage of her Italian mother, Mrs Brocklebank.

Lucia was able to transcribe the letter convincingly and have it delivered to the Contessa during luncheon. The praise she heaped upon the fluency and perfect elegance of the epistle shot down in flames the story Miss Mapp was eager to tell of Lucia's recent callisthenics in the secret garden of "Mallards," which she had spied upon from the top of the nearby church tower. The edifice of supsicion so carefully reared by Miss Mapp that Lucia knew no Italian collapsed like a house built of cards when the table is shaken. All in all, not one pane of the Crystal Palace was left unshattered.

Designed by Joseph Paxton and originally erected in Hyde Park for the Great Exhibition of 1851, the Crystal Palace was a cast-iron and plate-glass building of 990,00 square feet to display the latest technological developments.   It was subsequently moved to Penge Common next to Sydenham Hill, where it stood until 1936 when it was destroyed by fire.   See Contessa di Faraglione and Mrs Brocklebank.

Culbertson ~ there was widespread enthusiasm for the game of Bridge in Tilling where Contract waged and won a deadly war with Auction. Amongst Lucia's circle, there were disciples of many schools of thought. One, for example, played Culbertson. Ely Culbertson (1891 - 1955) was a famous and wealthy contract bridge player from the United States. A great showman and publicist, he fostered the early development of contract bridge and promoted himself as the leader in contract bridge in its boom years in the 1930's. His expert team won highly publicised challenge matches in the US and UK. He founded The Bridge World magazine, wrote many books and articles on bridge, owned a firm of plastic playing card manufacturers and a chain of bridge schools teaching the Culbertson bidding system.

Culture ~ Riseholme, led by Lucia, rejected as worthless all artistic efforts later than the death of Sir Joshua Reynolds - and a great deal of what went before

Cupboard ~ Fear of an impending coal strike and possible shortages of basic foodstuffs prompted Miss Mapp to hoard a very substantial amount of provisions including tinned meats, dried fruit, tea, coffee, jam and flour. This somewhat unpatriotic activity required discretion and Miss Mapp hid her nefarious cache of comestibles in the best, biggest, most secret and discreet cupboard in Mallards . It lay embedded in the wall of the Garden Room concealed behind the shelves of a false book case with faux covers including twelve volumes of the Beauties of Nature, a shelf of Elegant Extracts, and volumes simply called Poems, Commentaries, Travels, Astronomy and Music.

Arriving early for an afternoon bridge party at Mallards, Diva Plaistow was left alone in the Garden Room and took her opportunity to undo the catch of the cupboard to reveal the damning profusion of the provisions inside. The overfilled stores started to tumble, but Diva managed to leave the cupboard door just ajar with temporary quiescence inside.

Only when all the guests had assembled and Mrs Poppit innocently touched the spine of Elegant Extracts did the avalanche of provisions commence inundating the party with a large quantity of good things.

With remarkable resilience and ingenuity a shocked Miss Mapp remarked "Oh my poor little Christmas presents for your needy parishioners, padre".

The guests were left to assimilate the amazing proposition that Miss Mapp had half-way through September loaded her cupboard with Christmas presents for the poor on a scale that beggared belief. The feat required thought: it required faith so childlike it verged upon the imbecile. Captain Puffin later put the general cynicism more bluntly: "Don't suppose the poor of the parish will see much of that corned beef."

Curate ~ the Padre's curate appears to have attended and keenly enjoyed Lucia's po di musicas and to have assisted at Lucia's fete in aid of Tilling hospital held in the garden of "Mallards."

He was turned away at the door of "Mallards" when inquiring after Lucia's health during her bout of feigned "Italophonic-phobic"-induced influenza during the visit to Tilling of Contessa Amelia di Fariglione.

When returning home on the other side of the High Street after a meeting of the Band of Hope (such a contrast) he has witnessed dreadful goings on involving Major Benjy. Benjy had stood in the middle of the road, compelling a motor to pull up with a shriek of brakes and asked to see the driver's licence, insisting that he was a policeman in plain clothes on point duty.

When that was settled in a sympathetic manner by a real policeman, Benjy informed him that Msslucas was a regular stunner and began singing "You are Queen of my heart tonight"

At that point the curate, pained but violently interested, reluctantly let himself into his house. Naturally, the curate felt bound to tell his spiritual superior about the scene in the High Street.

He is is unnamed, although he might possibly be Mr Sturgis greeted by Miss Mapp during her visit to the fete. See Mr Sturgis. See "You are the Queen of my heart tonight."

Curtius, Quintus ~ see Quintus Curtius and Infelicities.

Cut-throat bridge ~ the card game at which Hermy and Ursy rooked their brother Georgie Pillson of eleven shillings on the evening on which the announced to him that they had recognised the guru as a tipsy curry cook from the Calcutta Restaurant in Bedford Street

D ~ is for Daisy and Diva

2008-03-18T19:05:00.137Z

Dabnet, Mr ~ proprietor of the toy shop in the High Street in Tilling from which Elizabeth Mapp purchased a pleasant little Union Jack with a short stick attached to it with which to welcome the Prince of Wales on his much anticipated arrival at Tilling Station on his way to visit Ardingly Park. See toyshop.

Daisy Quantock ~ married to Robert. Neighbour of Georgie Pillson and Lucia on the Green at Riseholme. There was no mistaking the identity of the stout figure of Mrs Quantock, with its short steps and its gesticulations. The Guru was realistic in his observation that Daisy would find some of the postures of yoga "difficult, for she is what you call globe, round ...but she has white soul."

Strong minded, leading her to dismiss her gardener. She was a gardener of the ruthless type, and went for any small green thing that incautiously showed a timid spike above the earth, suspecting it of being a weed. Energetic to a fault, she pruned her mulberry tree, nearly to death. Garrulous disposition, prompting the well-founded observation that Daisy criticised everybody everywhere.

A truly Athenian character who was always inquiring into some new thing, Daisy was prone to enthusiasms ranging from Christian Science to uric acid to yoga to spiritualism and golf. Like many middle-aged women who enjoy perfect health, Daisy was always practising a medical regime of a hygienic nature - such as becoming a devoted slave to the eliminative processes of the body.

Daisy accidentally met the psychic medium Princess Popoffski in a vegetarian restaurant in London and attended seances held by her. She brought the Princess to Riseholme and held seances which became all the rage for a time.

After her departure Daisy found yards of fine muslin and false eyebrows which proved the seances had been faked. Daisy burned the evidence just as Robert later burned copies of Todd's News containing reports of the arrest and trial of the Princess for fraud. On this occasion Daisy succeeded in excluding Lucia from having access to and running her medium - as she had annexed Daisy's guru - much to Lucia's chagrin. With the assistance of her husband, Daisy skilfully avoided personal embarrassment upon he exposure of the Princess as a fraud.

Daisy led Riseholme as the Queen of Golf until Lucia returned from London, mastered the game completely in a ridiculously short time, had herself appointed President of the new golf club and and resumed her normal position at the head off affairs.

Daisy and Robert were founding members of the Committee which established the Riseholme Museum. Daisy's overfilling of the oil heaters, used to keep the museum dry in the winter, brought about the fire which destroyed the building and its contents. Lucia worked out by inductive reasoning that, "I'm afraid Daisy burned down the Museum." She went on to remark, "We know quite well that poor Daisy didn't do it on purpose. She hasn't the pluck or the invention to be an incendiary. It was only her muddling meddling ways." Lucia continued "Don't you see? Poor Daisy's meddling has made the reputation of Vittoria and crumpled up Abfou. Fire, water, moonlight: Vittoria's prophesy. Vittoria owes it all to poor Daisy"

Extremely gullible, leading her to be taken advantage of by gurus who were in fact drunken curry cooks who disappeared with her spoons, forks and Georgian tankard and spiritualist mediums, who were far from Russian princesses.

Ambitious, daring even to contest local supremacy with Lucia including organisation of the Elizabethan May Day pageant on the Green.

Her organisational powers proved insufficient and it was necessary to hand over the helm to Lucia who turned proceedings into her own personal triumph. Poor Daisy ocaasionally rebelled but never really rose to become a worthy opponent for Lucia.

After Lucia and Georgie left Riseholme, employed a French parlour maid who was an atheist. See Abfou, Vittoria, Princess Popoffski, Guru, and Riseholme Museum.

Dalrymple, Diva ~ held a little concert attended by Lucia. Lucia assured Adele Brixton that the Stravinski sounded classical compared to the rest of the programme. She also remarked that "'it was very creditably played too. Mr - what was his name? Mr Greatorex.' Lucia's brain then made the connection and she realised that the gentleman to whom she had just been playing Stravinski was Mr Greatorex himself." See Greatorex, Eric

Dalston's Manual of Harmony" ~ musical reference tome borrowed by Lucia to check in vain for information on "inverted fifths" (which are un-invertable unlike "consecutive fifths") and "submerged tenths", both terms invented as a joke by Olga in a discussion about Debussy's "Poissons D'Or". Lucia felt the piece violated every rule of music and took Olga's playful invented terms at face value. See Inverted fifths and submerged tenths

"Dancing with the daffodils" ~ following the seance at which Lucia had convinced Susan Wyse that her beloved Blue Birdie had dematerialsied, Susan visited Lucia at "Mallards House". Unfortunately just as Susan arrived at the garden room, Lucia's secretary Mrs Simpson happened upon the partially decomposed corpse of the late blue parrakeet, exhaling disinfectant and decay, in a tin box labelled, "Museum. " To distract her highly-strung visitor from the smell of burning feathers from the corrupt avine cadaver hastily thrown upon the fire, Lucia took her into the garden saying that the smell was not feathers but gas. She hastily changed the subject to the reproduction of Quaint Irene's recent painting in "The Times" and continued," You must stroll across the lawn and have a peep at my daffodils in my giardino secreto. Never have I had such a show. Those lovely lines "dancing with the daffodils" How true!"

Lucia appeared to have in mind William Wordswoth's poem written in 1804, commonly called "The Daffodils" or "I Wondered Lonely as a Cloud," which concludes "And then my heart with pleasure fills/ And dances with the daffodils." It was inspired by a walk taken with sister Dorothy around Glencoyne Bay, Ullswater in the Lake District on 15 April 1802. Her account of the walk confirms, "I never saw daffodils so beautiful...the rest tossed and reeled and danced and seemed as if they verily laughed with the wind that blew upon them over the lake, they looked so gay ever dancing and changing."

Dante ~ during the seance with Princess Popoffski at her flat off the Charing Cross Road, Daisy Quantock witnessed the manifestation of Amadeo, who was not gay like Pocky, but was intensely impressive and spoke some lines in Italian when asked to repeat a piece of Dante. Mrs Quantock knew they were Italian , because she recognised 'notte' and 'uno' and 'caro', familiar words on Lucia's lips.

Called il somma Poeta and, with Petrarch and Boccaccio, one of the three fountains or crowns of Italian literature, Dante or Durante degli Aligheri (1265 - 1321) is celebrated for his masterpiece, the monumental epic poem "The Divine Comedy." A writer of poetry and prose, literary theorist, moral philosopher and political thinker, Dante ranked highly in Lucia's exclusive pantheon of great artists. See Princess Popoffski and Daisy Quantock.

Darwin ~ on the Green in Riseholme, Georgie Pillson noticed his kinswoman Lady Ambermere coming from the direction of "The Hurst"...clearly she must have got there after Peppino had left, or he would surely have mentioned the fact that Lady Ambermere had been at "The Hurst", if she had been at "The Hurst". It is true that she was only coming from the direction of "The Hurst", but Georgie practised , though he was not aware of, Darwin's proposition, that in order to observe usefully you must have a theory. This might be regarded as a subset, branch or even twiglet of the conductive reasoning at which the many in Riseholme excelled.

One of the most influential figures of the nineteenth and perhaps any century, English naturalist Charles Robert Darwin (1809 - 1882) established that all species of life evolved from common ancestry by natural selection. His theory of evolution and compelling evidence in support was published in "On the Origin of Species" in 1859.

Deal, Lady Florence ~ summer lessee of Suntrap in Tilling. Prominent figure in Girl Guide movement, mother's union and the Primrose League and a parliamentary candidate. Took Suntrap primarily for occupation by her former governess, Miss Mackintosh and nurse, Susie.

Mistakenly confused by Elizabeth Mapp with her cousin, a previous Lady Deal, Helena Herman who had been a male impersonator in the music hall and died without issue. Miss Mapp accordingly withdrew her visiting card and snubbed her, much to the amusement of Diva Plaistow, Evie Bartlett and other Tillingites. See Miss Mackintosh, Susan and Suntrap.

Debussy ~ influenced by Olga Bracely, Georgie developed an interest in the piano works of Debussy and visited Lucia at "The Hurst" armed for combat with a revolutionary weapon, consisting of a rolled-up copy of some of Debussy's morsels for the piano. Olga had lent it to him a few days ago, and he had been very busy over Poissons d'or.

A reknown pillar of musical modernism, Achille-Claude Debussy (1862-1918) was famed for a range of groundbreaking and radical orchestral and piano works. Although perhaps best known for his "impressionistic" compositions, Debussy was known to dislike the term. His harmonies influenced almost every major composer of the 20th century, especially Ravel, Stravinsky, Messiaen and Bartok.

Despite Georgie's best efforts, Lucia remained sceptical regarding the merits of Debussy's work and steadfastly faithful to Bach, Scarlatti and Beethoven, reaching a cruel verdict and remarking scathingly: Isn't Debussy the man who always makes me want to howl like a dog at the sound of the gong, and wonder when it's going to begin?   See Poissons d'or.

Delhi ~ when Lucia returned to Riseholme from a visit to London, she came upon her neighbour Daisy Quantock with a mysterious draped and turbaned guest with a tropical complexion and a black beard. Noting his attire, she surmised correctly that he was of Indian extraction. She knew there were some Indian princes in London: perhaps it was one of them , in which case it would be necessary to read up Benares or Delhi in the Encyclopaedia without loss of time.

Standing on the banks of the River Yamuna, Delhi is the largest metropolis by area and the second largest by population in India, next to Mumbai. Continuously inhabited since the 6th. century BC, Delhi has long been a major political, cultural and commercial centre, strategically located on the trade routes between north west India and the Gangetic plain. In 1911, George V announced that the capital of the British Raj would move back to Delhi, where it remained until the new capital city, New Delhi was built to the south of the old city during the 1920s. See Benares.

della Robbia ~ Visiting "Mallards" for the first time, Lucia thought the garden enchanting. There was a very green and well-kept lawn, set in bright flower beds. A trellis at one end separated it from a kitchen garden beyond, and round the rest ran high brick walls, over which peered the roofs of other houses. In one of these walls was cut a curved archway with a della Robbia head above it.

Italian sculptors, the della Robbias from Florence were noted for terra cotta roundels of the kind featured above the archway in the garden of "Mallards." Praised by Leon Batista Alberti for genius comparable to sculptors Donatello and Ghiberti, Luca della Robbia (1399/1400-1482) developed a pottery glaze that made his pieces more durable outdoors and suitable for the exterior of buildings. Luca's nephew Andrea della Robbia (1435-1525) was also a sculptor as was his grand-nephew, Giovanni, specialising in ceramics, especially altar pieces made of glazed terra cotta which were more colourful, less costly and cheaper to transport than marble. It seems unlikely that the head at "Mallards" was a della Robbia original.

Desipere in loco ~ In spite of its prevalent rarified atmosphere of culture, Riseholme knew how to desipere in loco , and its strenuous culture was often refreshed by light refined touches. Examples of such quaintnesses included the pigeons of Copenhagen china in the dovecote at "The Hurst", a concealed mechanical nightingale which sang "Jug-jug" in a very authentic manner when a string was pulled, highly realistic and dentally threatening stone fruit, a furry Japanese spider in a silk web of fearful verisimilitude and a brass milk-can that served as a receptacle for sticks and umbrellas.

The Latin phrase can be translated as "to indulge in trifling at the proper time." It appears to be taken from Horace: 4 Odes, xii. 28 Dulce est Desipere in Loco - "It is delightful to play the fool occasionally" or perhaps even "it is nice to throw aside one's dignity and relax at the proper time."

Desmond McCarthy ~ see McCarthy, Desmond

De Vere ~ (" for such was the incredible name of ") the parlour maid of Daisy Quantock in Riseholme. Favoured noticeably high heels - not always the most suitable of footwear in which to traverse the lawn in the back garden of her mistress.

Diane de Poictiers (sometimes Poitiers) ~ noted beauty, duchess of Valentois and influential mistress of King Henry II of France (1499 - 1556). In rivalry for Henry's favour (until his death in 1559, when she was forced to retire from court) Diane took sides against whichever party was most powerful and supported the king's anti protestant policy. Was the subject of an opera by Signor Cortese, following his successful "Lucretia."

Diapason ~ Lucia and Georgie were practising the slow movement of the "Moonlight Sonata" which they were to perform in the recital forming part of the service of dedication of the organ newly rebuilt at Lucia's expense. "They both gave the usual slow movement sigh. Then the volume of Beethoven tumbled on to the great organ on which Georgie had pulled out all the stops, and the open diapasons received it with a shout of rapture." A diapason is either of two stops (open and stopped diapasons) usually found throughout the compass of a pipe organ that give it its characteristic tonal colour. See Bourdon, Cor anglais, Vox humana.

Diaries, Major Benjy's ~ legend had it in Tilling that Major Flint laboured long into the night editing the diaries of his career with the Indian Army. Captain Puffin referred to his friend "spending the evening on India's coral strand, having tiffin, shooting tigers and Gawd knows what, making a note here, and copying an extract there and conferring with the Viceroy one day, and reprimanding the Maharajah of Bom-be- boo another." Booming with laughter the Major admitted, "And I never kept a diary in my life. Why there's enough cream in this situation to make a dishful of meringues!"

Dibs ~ slang word for money used by the Boxer Alf Watson to Lucia and later by Quaint Irene Coles when she asked Elizabeth Mapp for details of the terms of her summer letting of "Mallards" to Lucia: "How much did you stick her for? What price did you screw her up to? What's she got to pay you? Damage: dibs."

Dickie ~ handsome young chauffeur of Georgie Pillson. If Dickie took the wrong turn his master called Naughty boy through the tube. We do not know his surname or domestic arrangements, other than that he "slept out."

Remained in the employment of Colonel Cresswell, the tenant and eventual purchaser of Georgie's house on the Green in Riseholme when Georgie visited and then moved to Tilling.

Dinner ~ the practice of tea, followed by a bridge party was, in summer, the chief manifestation of the spirit of hospitality in Tilling. Mrs Poppit (later Wyse) tried to do something in the way of dinner parties, but though she was at liberty to give as many dinner parties as she pleased, nobody else had followed her ostentatious example. Dinner parties entailed a higher scale of living; Miss Mapp for one had accurately counted the cost of having three hungry people to dinner, and found that one such dinner party was not nearly compensated for, in the way of expense, by being invited to three subsequent dinner parties by your guests. The pendulum swung further towards the practice of dinner parties after Susan's marriage with Algernon Wyse and particularly after the re-settlement of the well-heeled Lucia and Georgie from Riseholme. See Tea.

Dinner-lunch ~ on Christmas Day, Diva Plaistow joined Elizabeth Mapp for a dinner-lunch at "Mallards". This was an annual institution held at "Wasters" and "Mallards" alternately. This year (1930) they enjoyed a terrine of pate de foie gras (a gift from Lucia and Georgie), roast turkey and plum pudding.

Disgrace of Tilling ~ If Elizabeth Mapp hated anybody, and she undoubtedly did, she hated Irene Coles and tried, in vain, to poison the collective mind Tilling against "this Creature." The bitterest part of it all was that, if Miss Coles was amused at anybody, and she undoubtedly was, she was amused at Miss Mapp. To Elizabeth Mapp, Irene Coles was "the disgrace of Tilling and her sex, the suffragette, post-impressionist artist (who painted from the nude, both male and female),the socialist and the Germanophil, all incarnate in one frame." See Quaint Irene Coles, Grebe, Art Club Exhibition, Picture of the Year , Diva's faulty flue, and "Equality, Fraternity, Nosality."

Disraeli's first speech in the House of Commons ~ Lucia was present at the public announcement that she and Elizabeth Mapp-Flint had come in a dismal equal last place in the poll for the council election with only 39 votes each. As the crowd broke up, and she and Georgie came into the street, Lucia was entirely unabashed. As though to signal her undiminished intention to pursue a seat, she began, "That noble story of Disraeli's first speech in the House of Commons..."

Although Benjamin Disraeli, first Earl of Beaconsfield (1804- 1881), later became Prime Minister and a distinguished statesman, he endured a great deal of barracking in a poorly received maiden speech in the House of Commons, which concluded "though I sit down now, the time will come when you will hear me." So it proved also for Lucia, who rose to become the Mayor of Tilling.

Diva (Godiva) Plaistow ~ resident in Wasters in the High Street in Tilling, a smaller property than Mallards. Short and portly, so that when she wore her scarlet beret and dress she resembled a round pillar box. No-one could say that Diva was pretty.

Miss Mapp commented accurately, "Dear Diva; she loves a good gossip. Such an interest she has in other people's affairs. So human and sympathetic." Diva coped well with the cut and thrust of social life in Tilling and was more than willing to cross swords with Elizabeth Mapp, whether it be over wool, hoarding or gowns. When Elizabeth was ironical, this had best to be answered by irony: Diva was no coward.

Memorable sartorial squabbles occurred over her purchase of some rose madder worsted already ordered by Miss Mapp, the selection of the same colour and design of new tea gown as Miss Mapp and the decoration of day-wear with applique chintz roses in conflict with Miss Mapp's cornflowers.

Diva was very ingenious: she used up all sorts of odds and ends in a way that did credit to her undoubtedly parsimonious qualities. She could trim a hat with a toothbrush and a banana in such a way that looked quite Parisian until you firmly analysed its component parts, and most of her ingenuity was devoted to dress: the more the pity that she had such a round-about figure that her waistband always reminded you of the equator...

She walked rapidly with the motion of those mechanical dolls sold in the street, which have three legs set as spokes to a circle so that their feet emerge from their dress with Dutch and rigid regularity. Overly fond of nougat chocolates and (although the connection was never proved) prone to toothache. Had one wisdom tooth extracted with gas early in the afternoon preceding the Poppit's bridge party.

At Lucia's fete in aid of Tilling hospital was requested to perform her hilarious seasick passenger with an orange routine (or ripe tomato, if oranges were unavailable). Also appeared at the fete in a tableau as Mary Queen of Scots, executed convincingly with a large axe by the Padre. Member of Tilling society enjoying bridge parties, gossip and other social activities. Known to be a widow, although we have no further information regarding her late spouse, the events of her marriage or the duration of her widowhood.

Inclined to temporary enthusiasms such as buying a tiny number of Siriami shares. Her grandfather, Miss Mapp had reason to know, had been a butcher. Accordingly she considered that probably some inherited indifference to slaughter lurked in Diva's tainted blood -as demonstrated by her fevered interest in the outcome of the abortive duel between Major Flint and Captain Puffin.

Owned a canary afflicted with pip during the first visit to Tilling of Lucia and Georgie. In her anxiety Diva took the canary to Dr. Dobbie, but fortunately her avine companion recovered in any event. Also owned a lean Irish terrier, Paddy, sometimes suspected of mange, a mischievous dog responsible inter alia for stealing a rabbit from Miss Mapp's basket and eating Major Benjy's riding crop.

Talked in staccato bursts like a telegram particularly when excitedly conveying news or gossip and had a characteristic scudding, train-like gait.

Diva only kept two servants - though poverty was no crime. Later opened Ye Olde Tea House in the front parlour of Wasters which became a popular meeting place for tea and a rubber of bridge. With the help of her servant Janet, Diva served shilling and one and sixpenny teas featuring home-baked jam puffs and sardine tartlets.

Participated in the usual chain of summer lettings renting her property to Miss Mapp and in turn taking Quaint Irene Coles' Taormina.

Although never in direct competition with Miss Mapp or Lucia for the crown of Tilling society, Diva Plaistow participated fully in the daily exchange of news and always held a strong point of view - particularly regarding systems of bidding in bridge or when in dispute with Elizabeth Mapp, which occurred regularly.

Diva's faulty flue ~ one summer Diva Plaistow had not succeeded in letting her house, even at a modest rental, and remained in Wasters in the High Street. One evening she found horrid fumes of smoke laden with soot came into her bathroom. They had come down the chimney from the kitchen of the house next door. Inspection showed Diva was responsible for the leakage in the flue since, for reasons of economy, she had caused the overflow pipe from her cistern to be passed through it. Her neighbour kindly refrained from using his range until Diva had the damaged flue repaired, but Diva could not bring herself to spend the frightful sum of nine pounds upon the necessary work, which she calculated equated to savings of five shillings a week for the best part of a year.

Quaint Irene now found a tenant for her own house and took that of Diva's neighbour who explained to her that, until Mrs Plaistow repaired the faulty flue, Irene could not use the kitchen range and that repeated reminders over a fortnight had produced no effect.

Needing no further prompting, Irene typically seized the initiative and she and her giant maid Lucy lit a giant fire in the range and awaited the effect. Acrid smoke poured through the leak prompting Diva to jump out of her bath and take refuge with her servant and dog Paddy in the street.

Irene commented "So I've smoked you out. Serve you right." She went on to threaten to keep piling on damp wood until the repairs were completed. Diva was upset that her bathroom was kippered and would need to be redecorated, but promised to have the work done the next day. Fortunately, despite her kippered wallpaper, Diva succeeded in letting her house at twice the rental she paid for a dilapidated hovel close beside the railway line.

Dobbie, Dr. ~ the leading physician of Tilling, resided in Malleson Street. When Miss Mapp inquired of him how the dear patient at "Mallards" was, he replied unpromisingly, "I am not attending any dear patient at "Mallards" and, if I was, I need hardly remind you that as a professional man, I should not dream of answering any inquiry about my patients without their express permission to do so. Good morning." This response prompted Miss Mapp to think "A very rude man."

Dominic, Mrs. ~ Major Flint's housekeeper. Miss Mapp wondered if Dominic drank.

Doubleday, Mr ~ the chemist in Riseholme. According to Mrs Weston, he upset Miss Piggy Antrobus by requiring her to explain and sign-for a drop of laudanum intended to relieve her mother's toothache. In typical fashion Mrs Weston commented "I should have said 'Oh, Mr Doubleday, I want to make laudanum tartlets; we are all so fond of laudanum tartlets'. Something sharp and sarcastic like that, to show him his place".

The chemist in Tilling, by the way, was similarly firm when not prepared to undertake to deliver small packages, leaving Miss Mapp to decline the purchase of a small packet of precipitated chalk. See Laudanum

Doxology ~ after the Padre's uncompromising sermon effectively repudiating British Summer Time as ungodly, the rain rattled against the windows of the church in Tilling and drowned the Doxology, being a hymn,verse or form of words in Christian liturgy glorifying God (from Medieval Latin doxologia, from Greek doxologos uttering praise and doxa, praise.)

Drake, Francis ~ in Riseholme's Elizabethan pageant, which Lucia had planned for August, Lucia would impersonate the Queen, Pepino following her as Raleigh and Georgie would be Francis Drake. But at an early stage of these incubations Pepino had died. Lucia had involved herself in inextricable widowhood and the reins of government had fallen into Daisy Quantock's podgy little hands...

The part played by Georgie Pillson in the pageant was legendary sea captain, navigator, slaver and politician knighted by Queen Elizabeth in 1581, Sir Francis Drake (1540-1596). His varied career included being second in command in the English fleet which, together with the elements, saw off the Spanish Armada in 1588. Between 1577 anf 1580, he had circumnavigated the globe. A legendary privateer and English hero, he was considered a El Draque, a pirate by the Spanish with a bounty of 20,000 ducats offered by Philip II.

Drake's wife ~ minor part in the Riseholme Elizabethan May Day pageant, which only entailed to come forward for obne moment, curtsy and disappear. The role was offered by Daisy Quantock to Lucia and declined and then given to the grocer's wife who was rather slack at her attendance of rehearsals. On hearing of this offer, Georgie commented incredulously, "You might as well have asked her to be a confused noise within. What can you have been thinking of?" Ultimately played by Daisy Quantock when Lucia was persuaded to step in as Director, Producer and leading actress as Elizabeth I.

Dropmore Borage ~ during her weekend as the guest of Adele Brixton in the country, Lucia was embroidering her faux relationship with the innocent Stephen Merriall by arranging to be viewed wandering off with with him in the garden. They were seen standing very close together and arguing publicly about a flower, and Lucia, seeing they were observed (as she had intended), called to Adele to know if it wasn't Dropmore Borage.

The commonly grown, sun-loving, plant of Anchusa Italica, Dropmore variety, Boraginaceae attains the height of three to five feet, blooming in June and July. The leaves are coarse and hairy and its flowers comprise large, loose clusters of Forget-me-nots of soft turquoise blue, some with a white eye. A rather fine perennial for the back of the border and entirely appropriate to grace the garden of Adele Brixton's country home. When planted in large masses and in bloom, it appears as a misty sea of deep blue. Bees apparently delight in visiting its flowers.

Ducking pond ~ nothing in Riseholme could be more blatently Elizabethan that its village green. Round it stood a row of great elms, and in its centre was a ducking pond. In Riseholme it would have been rank heresy to have dreamed even in the most pessimistic moments of its being anything but a ducking pond. It was later a centre piece for Riseholme's Elizabethan Pagenat and the mooring place of Drake's ill-fated Golden Hind.

On the morning following their suprise late arrival to visit to the home of their brother Georgie, Hermy and Ursy Pillson practised lofting golf shots over the ducking pond. See Stocks and Golden Hind

Duelling ~ By a mixture of oblique references and well-timed silences, Major Flint cultivated the notion amongst his circle in Tilling of a dashing past as a young officer and expertise as an experienced duellist.

After one particularly bibulous evening with his friend Captain Puffin, whilst still inebriated the Major issued a written challenge to a duel. On sobering up next morning, both protagonists took fright and to avoid the conflict bolted to the railway station to catch the earliest train to London.

On meeting there they made-up, returned home and went for their usual morning's golf. By this time the note had been found and alarm spread over Tilling. Ultimately the Padre seized the initiative and extravagantly took a taxi to the links to find them and prevent the mortal combat. He eventually located them putting on the eighteenth green and all was well.

Naturally much conjecture ensued over the cause of the dispute and Miss Mapp encouraged the inaccurate conjecture that it stemmed from rivalry for her favours. The reputation of those concerned rose following the incident only to plummet once the truth regarding flight to and reconciliation at the railway station emerged. It was Miss Mapp who managed to analyse the facts and work out a solution founded as solidly as a Euclidean proposition: her answer was that both duellists had in fact run away. In a remarkably short space of time the two duellists became universally known in Tilling as the cowards.

"Tilling had known tensions before and would doubtless know them again. Often it had been on a very agreeable rack of suspense, as when, for instance, it had believed (or striven to believe) that Major Benjy might be fighting a duel with that old crony of his, Captain Puffin, lately deceased... Nobody would have cared at all if Captain Puffin had been killed, nor much, if Major Benjy..it was as if the innermost social guts of Tilling were attached to some relentless windlass, which ,at any moment now, might be wound but not relaxed...."

Duets ~ one of Lucia and Georgie's greatest pleasures together were duets upon the pianoforte. They particularly enjoyed heavenly Mozart and the dainty Scarlatti, but most of all the immortal Beethoven. Lucia always took the treble part because it had more tune in it - although she pretended she had not Georgie's firm touch, which made the bass effective. Each would secretly practice their part in advance and pretend to be sight-reading it for the first time when performing together. This was often done with a somewhat girlish glee and exclamations combined with little screams - usually from Georgie - "Cattivo Mozart, to write anything too dwefful diffy!"

E ~ is for Emmeline and Elizabeth

2008-03-18T18:29:00.112Z

Easy French ~ following her return from honeymoon in Monte Carlo Elizabeth Mapp-Flint littered her conversation with words and phrases of beginner's French, just as Lucia and Georgie favoured use of easy Italian.

It is unclear whether this habit was entirely natural, an affectation or satirical. Thus Elizabeth called some friends "Cherie", inquired N'est ce pas?" and arranged things "Comme il faut". "Who's deal?" became "Qui donne?" and her "mari" Benjy boy was also "Mon vieux". Mrs Mapp-Flint enjoyed this gambit enormously and found it "tres amusant".

Most of Tilling were mildly irritated by this practice, but remained silent until Diva Plaistow seized her moment and asked in her usual rapid-fire, staccato way that Elizabeth should drop that silly habit of putting easy French phrases into her conversation: "so confusing. Besides everyone sees you're only copying Lucia. So ridiculous. All put on." Elizabeth agreed that she would try to break herself: "I'm sure I don't want to confuse anybody" to which Diva replied ruthlessly "Tres agreable. Can't you hear how silly that sounds? Been on my mind a long time to tell you that." see Language.

Easy Italian ~ in midland Riseholme next to il piccolo Avono Lucia, Pepino and Georgie peppered their conversation with snippets of easy conversational Italian. This practice later continued in seaside Tilling. Thus: Lucia mia. Carissima! Ben arrivata! Si mio, Caro. Sta bene? Molto bene! Alternatively: Cattivo ragazzo, Georgino mio! Que bella barba. Un po di musica? Buon riposo!

This habit was something of an affectation and intended to give the impression of fluency in la bella lingua. More than once, Lucia and Georgie had to resort to subterfuges, such as feigned illness or trips away, to prevent disclosure of their linguistic incompetence. On some occasions it was necessary to pretend that fluent Italian was unintelligible claiming it was broad Neapolitan or some other dialect. These pretences worked surprisingly well, but many close amici, such as Elizabeth Mapp, persisted in suspecting the truth. see Language.

Ebullitions ~ returning to Riseholme from their first visit to Tilling, Gergie Pillson had been struck by the, "frightful revivification," that had happened to Lucia. To him, her "repudiation of Riseholme and the craving for the 'Iliad' and Tilling and 'The Symposium' indicated an almost dangerous appetite for novelty. Or was it only that, having bottled herself up for a year, the cork now being out, she should overflow in these ebullitions?"

An ebullition is a sudden emotional outburst or violent outpouring of emotion. The term was, for example, used by Thackeray in the phrase "did not...give way to any ebullitions of private grief."

Eddy, Mrs Mary Baker ~ When Lucia returned from London, she found that in her absence her neighbour in Riseholme, Daisy Quantock had taken up with a guru who was in residence as a guest and teaching her yoga.

At that time, after many other passing enthusiasms, Daisy was a follower of Christian Science. Suffering from a cold she found that the malaise was too obstinate for all the precepts of Mrs Eddy; the "True Statement of Being" however often repeated only seemed to inflame it further and one day when confined to the house she had been led to take down a book on Oriental Philosophies containing a chapter on yoga, which - after written application - led to the arrival at her home of an Indian gentleman who ultimately became her "guru".

Founder of the Church of Christ, Scientist, in Boston Massachusetts, Mary Baker-Eddy (1821 - 1910) wrote the movement's text book "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures (1875). A spiritual teacher and lecturer, thrice married Mrs Baker Eddy was credited with the power of healing. See Christian Science, Daisy Quantock, guru and yoga. See Christian Science and Daisy Quantock.

Egalo-megalo-mayoralo-mania ~ term coined by Georgie whilst in the bath to describe the self-important delusions of grandeur experienced by Lucia in contemplation of her impending installation as Mayor of Tilling.

Eggs a la Capri ~ a favourite dish, often served to guests by Algernon and Susan Wyse originating in the kitchens of sister Contessa Amelia di Faraglione in Capri.

Eight thousand pounds ~ the sum made by Lucia after her relocation to Tilling in dealings on the Stock Market with the sage advice of her broker, Mammoncash. Lucia remarked loftily , "Naturally one does not talk about it, but there it is, and I shall certainly spend a great deal of it, keeping some for myself - the labourer is worthy of his hire -on Tilling. I want- how can I put it -to be a fairy godmother to the dear little place."

Einstein ~ when, on her return from the Gallagher Banks, Lucia was speculating with Georgie as to exactly why Elizabeth Mapp was lurking like a burglar in the kitchen of "Grebe" on Boxing Day, Lucia's eyes ceased to bore and became far-off focus, keen still but speculative, as if she was Einstein concentrating on some cosmic deduction.

Often regarded as the father of modern physics, Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) was a theoretical physicist and one of the most famous and influential scientists and intellectuals of all time. Winner of the 1921 Nobel Prize in Physics, his myriad contributions include special and general theories of relativity, founding relativistic cosmology, the first post Newtonian expansion, gravitational lensing, the first fluctuation dissipation theorem, photon theory and wave particle duality, none of which would have meant a thing to Lucia or still less Georgie - although for many the combination of great intelligence and originality made the name "Lucia" equate in some relatively small way in her particular universe of Tilling to genius - not entirely unlike the name "Einstein" in his much larger cosmos.

Elections ~ Elizabeth Mapp-Flint and Lucia both stood for election to the Town Council of Tilling. At opposite ends of the spectrum, Lucia advocated increased spending on public works and social housing whilst Mrs Mapp-Flint proposed parsimony and reduced rates.

An energetic campaign featured frenetic canvassing and climaxed with a loud demonstration by Quaint Irene Coles leading a band of urchins and her extremely tall maid Lucy bearing banners praising Lucia as the friend of the poor and opposing Mrs Mapp-Flint.

On this occasion, Lucia and Mrs Mapp-Flint came joint bottom of the poll.

Following many donations benefiting the locality, Lucia was co-opted to fill a vacancy as councillor and subsequently elected to office. Thereafter, as her largess continued, Lucia was appointed Mayor of Tilling.

Mrs Mapp-Flint was gracious enough to accept Lucia's shrewd offer to become her Mayoress and was subsequently elected to the Council, defeating Georgie Pillson in a not-very-close contest

Eleven twenty ~ the 11.20a.m. steam tram from Tilling to the golf links by the coast was habitually taken by Major Flint and Captain Puffin until the sad demise of the latter following a stroke and drowning in a bowl of oxtail soup. The next tram it appears did not arrive in Tilling until 1.37

Elijah ~ next to the Witch of Endor, Saul and Samuel, the stained glass of the south window of Tilling Church depicted Elijah going up into heaven in a fiery chariot. The heat from this vehicle would presumably have prevented the prophet from feeling cold in interstellar space for he wore only an emerald green bathing dress which left exposed his superbly virile arms and legs, and his snowy locks streamed in the wind. The horses were flame coloured, the chariot was red-hot, and high above it in an ultramarine sky hung a an orange sun which seemed to be the object of the expedition.

A harbinger of the Messiah, Elijah or Elias was a prophet in Israel in the ninth century BC appearing in the Old and New Testament, Talmud and Qur'an. According to the Book of Kings, Elijah raised his head, brought fire down form the sky and ascended into heaven in a whirlwind either accompanied by a chariot and horses of flame or riding in it. As described, the stain glass window of Tilling church seems to have captured this well. In the Book of Malachi, Elijah's return is prophesied before the coming of the great and terrible day of the Lord. See Witch of Endor, Saul and Samuel.

Elizabeth Luton ~ maid for fifteen years of Miss Jane Weston who became Mrs Jane Boucher. Subsequently married Colonel Boucher's servant Atkinson. Cousin of Henry Luton.

Elizabeth Mapp ~ latterly Elizabeth Mapp-Flint. Malignantly curious and cancerously suspicious of all her servants, tradesmen and indeed friends. Her face was of high vivid colour and was corrugated by chronic rage and curiosity; but these vivifying emotions had preserved to her an astonishing activity of mind and body, which fully accounted for the comparative adolescence with which she would have been credited anywhere except in the charming little town which she had inhabited so long. Anger and the gravest suspicions about everybody had kept her young and on the boil.

A large woman with a wide smile and slightly superior air. Tall and portly with much the same figure as Diva Plaistow, but her height, so she was perfectly satisfied to imagine, converted corpulence into majesty. Scrutiny of the bathroom scales when she was staying as a guest of Lucia at "Mallards House," when her summer let was flooded, revealed that she weighed eleven stone twelve pounds (which prompted her hostess to remark "But she has got big bones, Georgie, We must be fair.")

Miss Mapp possessed plump hands, a broad benignant face and dimpled well-nourished cheeks, rather bulgy eyes, long white teeth and a certain tightness in the corners of her expansive mouth, which boded ill for any who came within snapping distance. Markedly drew back her lips when speaking and wore a perpetual smile when there was the least chance of being under observation.

Miss Mapp had visited Riseholme one summer some time before and stayed at the Ambermere Arms, when she had given the impression of being "agreeable, but slightly superior." Georgie Pillson recalled her," I remember the name, because she was rather globular, like a map of the world..large, with a great smile. Teeth." During that visit Miss Mapp picked up the phrase "Au reservoir" and stayed right to the end of Lucia's garden party, eating quantities of redcurrant fool, saying she had inherited a recipe from her grandmother, which she would send. Lucia confirmed, "She did, too, and my cook said it was rubbish."

Miss Mapp, a woman of substance in every sense of the word, inherited Mallards, a delightful Queen Anne House in the centre of Tilling, from her late Aunt Caroline.

She ruled her circle from the window seat in her garden room overlooking the town.

Miss Mapp was to be reckoned with in many ways: a large woman, no longer in the very first flush with a strong, not to say dominant, personality and will. This strength of character combined with considerable guile to render her formidable. Her stubbornness and a somewhat vindictive streak were illustrated by the pleasure taken in deliberately delaying shopkeepers in the High Street to ensure that they could not quickly go out to take orders from Susan Wyse or her chauffeur from within her Royce - thus guaranteeing traffic chaos in the narrow thoroughfare. Despite her strength of character Miss Mapp had a frantic phobia of infection - which she assuaged with liberal use of carbollic soap.

Miss Mapp ran an efficient household and kept a sharp and ever mistrustful eye on her staff. She applied a similar jaundiced view in dealings with tradesmen such as shopkeepers and - in her mind - estate agents.

Her friends found Miss Mapp at the head of Tilling society dominating the lunches, dinners and bridge parties they enjoyed. Lucia remarked accurately that her neighbours in Tilling, "all say she's a perfect terror at cards." Most of her friends in Tilling understood her frailties of character well, including her "tricks and pointless meannesses."

Circumstances began to change during the summer's round of subletting when residents let their properties at a premium rent in high season and moved to smaller and cheaper accommodation to profit fully from the higher rent.

One fateful year, Miss Mapp let Mallards via her own advertisement in the Times (thus cleverly avoiding the fees of her letting agents Messrs Woolgar and Pipstow) to Mrs Emmeline Lucas of Riseholme in the Midlands.

Miss Mapp found Lucia challenging in so many ways - her fashion sense, artistic sensibilities, style and commanding ways grated.

Although at first Miss Mapp harboured plans to run Lucia and bend her to her will, this proved unrealistic. Lucia soon showed her mettle and was not prepared to be brow-beaten over any number of issues from the allocation of the gardener's duties to the holding of the hospital fete in the garden at Mallards to disclosing her secret recipe for Lobster a la Riseholme.

Miss Mapp's insatiable desire for this recipe led her to plot steal it from the kitchen at Grebe whilst all the servants were out attending a whist drive and under the pretext of calling to thank Lucia for her Christmas gift of pate and a request to join her calisthenics class. Whilst doing so, she was trapped in the kitchen at Grebe by a sudden flood which swept her out to sea with Lucia on an upturned kitchen table.

Several months on an Italian fishing trawler on the Gallagher Bank confirmed her views upon Lucia and, following their safe return, mortal combat ensued.

Miss Mapp often disagreed with friends over a variety of issues from bridge scores with The Padre to clashing tea gowns with Diva Plaistow. She was usually fearless and combative in her dealings - save with Lucia's admirer, Quaint Irene Coles whose outspoken remarks and perceptive mimicry Miss Mapp simply could not rebut.

After a lengthy friendship, Miss Mapp determined to marry Major Flint on her return from the Gallagher Bank with Lucia when the Major's reputation, morale and finances were hugely impaired. Miss Mapp even managed to look on this as a blow against Lucia: "Poor Lulu will only be a widow and I a married woman with a well-controlled husband. How will she like that?" Accordingly, Elizabeth succeeded in procuring an offer of marriage from Major Benjamin Flint - her Benjy Boy and spent much of married bliss trying to change Benjy's bachelor ways - in particular his excessive fondness for alcohol. She failed.

After her marriage she regained the spotlight by feigning an impending happy event which Lucia immortalised with the term plucked from the Greek, a wind egg.

A certain willfulness speculating in Siriami shares - and a stubborn desire to better Lucia - put the Mapp-Flints in somewhat reduced circumstances and obliged them to accept Lucia's offer to exchange Mallards for Grebe and a cash sum. Despite the fairness of Lucia's offer, Elizabeth never really forgave her for this and continued to flag up Lucia's pretensions and vanities as part of an ultimately futile quest for dominance.

Elizabeth and Lucia managed to come joint bottom of the poll when standing unsuccessfully for election to Tilling Council. When, following many large charitable donations in the locality, Lucia became a councillor and subsequently Mayor, Lucia shrewdly made Elizabeth her Mayoress and could not prevent her ultimately winning a seat on the council -by defeating Georgie Pillson in the poll.

Elizabeth Mapp-Flint was feisty and a doughty fighter but lacked the control and judgement to outshine or defeat Lucia in the longer term. Her greatest desire was again to hold sway over her circle in Tilling and her greatest tragedy that Lucia was fundamentally better suited than she to that dominant role.

Elysian fields ~ having suggested to the Padre that the challenge to a duel by Major Flint to Captain Puffin had been "all about " her, Elizabeth Mapp returned home to rest and undertook an hour's extraordinary celebral activity, mulling over what had transpired and how her version of the "news" would spread about the town. Elizabeth calculated that Evie would obtain the information from the Padre and would pass it on to Diva Plaistow who would undoubtedly tell everybody in Tilling ("such a gossiping darling"). Miss Mapp thoroughly enjoyed working all this out. Nothing could be nicer: the whole of Tilling aware of her version of events, yet under promise of secrecy.

To her, this imaginative reconstruction was quite heavenly and "after this excursion into Elysian fields", poor Miss Mapp had to get back to her "vulture " of surmise regarding the "unsolved " aspects of the incident - such as the mysteries of the significance of Major Flint's portmanteau and the taking of the early train.

The Elysian fields was a paradise, either in the Underworld or far West, where mortals, related to the gods, or heroes such as Achilles, lived on in heavenly surroundings enjoying heroic and pleasurable pursuits. Homer said the fields were located on the western edge of the earth by the stream of Oceanus. Hesiod suggested that they were known as the Fortunate Isles or Isle of the Blessed in the western ocean at the end of the earth. Pindar saw them as a single island with shady parks - which seems to refer to the shelter from the sun, rather than anything untoward. For Elizabeth Mapp, Elysium seems to have been (entirely wrongly) perceived by the whole of Tilling as the romantic heroine of a duel.

Elzevir Horace ~ the famous smoking parlour of the Lucas residence in Riseholme, "The Hurst" was achingly Elizabethan, without the benefit of electric light. Sconces on the walls held dim iron lamps, so that only those with the most acute vision were able to read. You had to be in a fanatically Elizabethan frame of mind to be at ease there.

Notwithstanding these conditions Lucia often spent rare leisure moments there playing on the virginal that stood in the window, or kippering herself in the smoke of the wood fire as with streaming eyes she deciphered an Elzevir Horace, rather late for inclusion under the rule, but an undoubted bargain.

The Elzevirs were seventeenth century Dutch booksellers renowned for printing, with high typographical standards, reliable yet inexpensive classical texts in a small format, largely serving university needs.Their classical series in the petit form opened with Horace and Ovid in 1629. Impressive though Lucia's reading of the original Latin might be, one might hazard a respectful guess that in reality she might actually have preferred a Loeb edition, where a sound translation was set out in the page opposite the original text - as was the case when she enjoyed many of the Greek classics. When she returned from her ordeal with Elizabeth Mapp on the Gallagher Banks some years later, we note Lucia returned to the works of Horace "with the help of a crib."  Other Elzevirs negligently left open in the smoking-parlour at "The Hurst" included the works of Persius and Juvenal.   See Horace.

Embroidery ~ detailed work in petit point was a favourite hobby of Georgie Pillson. His careful productions included chair-covers and his wife Lucia's mayoral gloves. Although his exquisite work was generally admired by his lady friends, Georgie's penchant for petit point was generally despised by men with a military background, such as Colonel Boucher in Riseholme and Major Flint in Tilling. On one occasion when Olga Bracely was hinting that the then bachelor, Georgie might have matrimonial intentions towards Mrs Weston, the jealous Colonel Boucher even unkindly referred to the entirely innocent Georgie as a "needle-woman." When distressed that Lucia was lost at sea, after dinner in his sitting room, Georgie took up his needlework, that "sad narcotic exercise ," and looked his loss in the face.

Emmeline Lucas (later Pillson, nee Smythe) ~ married to wealthy retired barrister Philip Lucas, whom she called "Pepino". Known by her wide circle of intimates in the Italian manner as la Lucia, the wife of Lucas.

On settling in Elizabethan Riseholme in Worcestershire, the Lucas's knocked together three cottages to create the Hurst. Charmingly, if not authentically, Elizabethan, its rooms were named after Shakespeare's plays. It boasted a Shakespearean garden including Perdita's border.

The Arts featured greatly in Lucia's life. She played piano, especially Mozart and Beethoven, whose portrait hung above her Steinway grand.

She enjoyed literature although the depth of her knowledge did not match always its dazzling width.

Lucia's companion in her artistic interests was her friend and neighbour Georgie Pillson with whom she shared piano duets -taking the more interesting treble part - and beginner's Italian, baby talk, watercolours, bridge and gossip.

Lucia bestrode social life in Riseholme as her right, although she was occasionally temporarily discomforted by newcomers like the prima donna Olga Bracely and seekers-after her crown such as Daisy Quantock.

One of Lucia's greatnesses lay in the fact that when she found anyone out in some act of atrocious meanness, she never indulged in any idle threats of revenge: it was sufficient that she knew and would take suitable steps on the earliest occasion. Georgie Pillson recognised that Lucia always got what she wanted: there was a force about her (so different from poor Daisy's violent yappings and scufflings) which caused things to happen in the way she wished.

Lucia was ruthless in seizing the initiative from rebels such as Daisy and blatantly took possession of the guru to steal the limelight in that season's stunt of yoga. Lucia liked to be at the head of affairs and had soon donned her Teacher's Robe to give instruction to the less-advanced students.

Lucia's ruthless self-promotion was seen at its most blatant in her season in London where her social climbing drew gasps from onlookers and led to the formation of a group of Luciaphils who noted her every manoeuvre, gaffe and snub with awe.

On the sad passing of Pepino after twenty-five years of devoted marriage, Lucia withdrew - somewhat stylishly - for a time. Though she did not make a luxury out of the tokens of grief, she had perhaps made ever so slightly a stunt of them. On returning to the fray, she recovered her former energy as when she selflessly took over production and direction of the May Day Pageant in the Green in Riseholme from the hapless Daisy Quantock and scored a personal triumph in the part of Elizabeth 1.

Lucia was typically decisive and clear-minded in moving to Tilling and was soon at the head of affairs there. Lucia's new friends in Tilling were not blind to her failings and openly allueded to her "scornful victories" and "domineering ways."

She first lived in Grebe outside the town and her adventures included being swept out to sea on an upturned kitchen table with Elizabeth Mapp and spending several months on an Italian fishing trawler on the Gallagher Banks.

Lucia came to purchase Mallards from Miss Mapp - who had now become Mrs Mapp-Flint and spent some time emulating her heroine Dame Catherine Winterglass in building up a further fortune of eighteen thousand pounds on the Stock Exchange.

Some of this wealth was spent on charitable works in Tilling which led to her securing a place upon the Town Council and ultimately becoming Mayor. With typical magnanimity combined with shrewdness, Lucia invited Mrs Mapp-Flint to become her Mayoress.

Georgie Pillson, her dear friend, had accompanied Lucia to Tilling and, in time becoming ever closer. Once it was agreed that no form of intimacy need ever take place, the two married and so Lucia became Mrs Pillson.

Life in Tilling was a round of lunches and dinners, bridge parties, meeting in the High Street during marketing and exchanging gossip. Her close circle of friends included Diva Plaistow, Quaint Irene Coles who was entirely devoted to Lucia, Algernon and Susan Wyse, Vicar Kenneth and Evie Bartlett and Elizabeth and Benjamin Mapp-Flint.

Elizabeth Mapp was immensely resentful, if not jealous, of Lucia's usurpation of her crown in Tilling and acquisition of Mallards, by far its finest home.

Lucia consciously worked for her social dominance and her vanities and pretensions often tried the patience of her friends - whether it be pretending to be fluent in Italian, declining t0 play bridge for money whilst Mayor or obliging them to sit through endless evenings of un po di mu, inevitably climaxing with Lucia's rendition of the slow movement from the Moonlight Sonata.
Lucia was adept at mastering and promoting activities, such as golf, callisthenics, yoga and bicycling. Georgie considered that her real metier was to render the trivialities of life intense for others (but how her schemes for the good of Tilling bored him!)

There was however a greatness in Lucia's self-promotion and an inevitability that she would ultimately prevail. The preceding battle with Elizabeth Mapp made life more interesting for everyone.

Ennismore Gardens ~ residential thoroughfare in London, which could be reached by a footpath leading from the cul de sac, Brompton Square.

Epiphany ~ when the Guru had come to Riseholme, causing some dissension between Daisy and Lucia over who should "run" him, Georgie Pillson wished it had been he who had found this pamphlet on Eastern philosophies which had led Mrs Quantock to make the inquiries that had resulted in the epiphany of the Guru.    Later there is also reference to the epiphany of Vittoria, Lucia's spirit guide and the arch rival to Daisy Quantock's Egyptian, Abfou.

In the first case, the epiphany seems to consist of the sudden appearance or manifestation from no-where of the Indian Guru, although the term is often applied to a deity (rather than the Christian festival observed on January 6th. commemorating the manifestation of Christ to the gentiles in the persons of the Magi or indeed a sudden, intuitive insight into the reality or essential meaning of something or even a literary work presenting such a moment of revelation).  Vittoria similarly suddenly manifested herself, as if by magic or other intervention. See Guru, Daisy Quantock, Yoga, Vittoria and Abfou.

Epistle to the Hebrews ~ whilst Major Flint and Captain Puffin were thought to be on their way to fight a deadly duel amongst the sand dunes outside Tilling, they were actually about to enjoy a round of golf. They passed together down the road and into the High Street, unconscious that their every, look and action was being more commented upon than the Epistle to the Hebrews.

The author of the Epistle to the Hebrews, one of the books of the New Testament,  is not named. Since the earliest days of the Church, its authorship has been debated, with support for Paul, Silas, Clement of Rome, Luke, Barnabas, Appollos, Timothy, and various others. There has also been debate over its purpose, which some contend to be for Christians to persevere in the face of persecution or to prevent apostasy. Its central premise has been stated to be the doctrine of the Person of Christ and his role as mediator between God and humanity. The authority William L. Lane is quoted as describing the Epistle as a delight for the person who enjoys puzzles - and by extension, one suspects, the scholarly Benson. By way of contrast, although despite such extensive commentary, no absolute consensus has yet been reached amongst biblical scholars on the authorship or interpretation of The Epistle, the Cosmic Consciousness and inductive reasoning of Tilling ultimately devised a workable and accurate interpretation of what actually transpired on the day of the soi disant duel between Messrs Flint and Puffin.    See Cosmic Consciousness

Equality, Fraternity, Nosality ~ phrase devised by Quaint Irene Coles and employed in conversation with Elizabeth Mapp and Diva Plaistow, when it was announced that Mallards had been let to Lucia, initially for the months of August and September.

Irene had agreed to rent her house Taormina to Diva for five guineas a week and Diva to rent Wasters to Elizabeth for eight guineas upon the assumption that Elizabeth was letting Mallards for twelve guineas. Irene suspected, quite rightly, that, with typical sharpness, Elizabeth Mapp had obtained better terms and argued that there ought to be a sliding scale, so that if Elizabeth had made Lucia pay through the nose she and Diva should do the same .

Miss Mapp cannily distracted Irene by serving her a cocktail and did not disclose fact that she had succeeded in extracting from Lucia fifteen guineas a week to include the use of her Blumenfelt piano, but excluding the wages of her gardener or garden produce - flowers for the house by all means, but not fruit or vegetables. See Sub-letting.

Erda ~ after her purchase of "Mallards House" from Elizabeth Mapp-Flint, Lucia became very much absorbed in the excavation of what she thought were Roman remains in the garden. One day, soon after Georgie appeared to help, Lucia was standing in the trench with half her figure below ground level, like Erda in Wagner's justly famous opera. If only Georgie had not dyed his beard, he might have been Wotan.

Erda was the goddess of earth and the mother of the three Norns. Blessed with great wisdom, she was also able to see the future and tended only to rise from the earth when she foresaw impending disaster. Wotan obtained advice from Erda in her appearances in the Ring, including "Das Reingold" where she warns Wotan that he be victim to a curse which Alberich has put on the Ring and will bring about the earth's and his own downfall. In "Siegfried," Wotan asks Erda how he can overcome his fears and ungratefully informs her that, now she has borne him the nine Valkyries, she is surplus to requirements. See Wotan and Wilhelm Richard Wagner.

Esmondi ~ during an awkward conversation with Georgie when each party wished to make it plain that they had no wish to develop their happiest of platonic friendships in a romantic direction, Lucia referred to "that lovely scene in Esmondi; Winchester Cathedral!" It appears Lucia was alluding to a scene set in the choir of Winchester Cathedral in the 1852 novel "The History of Henry Esmond" by William Makepeace Thackeray (1811-1863). This historical novel tells the story of the early life of a colonel in the service of Queen Anne.

Eton crop ~ a short, cropped and slicked down ladies' hairstyle derived from its similarity to a hairstyle adopted by boys at Eton: a severe style, emphasising the shape of the head and focusing interest on the face. First popularised in the 1920s, it was ideal to showcase the shape of cloche hats. Diva Plaistow took the plunge after tortures of indecision to have her hair cropped quite close. This was ignored by Miss Mapp, who later confirmed she "thought it far kinder to say nothing about it. Far!" In contrast, Lucia liked it "immensely. Ten years younger."

Some authorities considered that by 1930, the style was outmoded among the most fashionable. Unfortunately, Diva's Eton crop was undertaken in 1931.

Euclidean postulate ~ Miss Mapp had heard that the Prince of Wales would most likely be disembarking from the London train on Saturday afternoon on his way to spend the weekend at Ardingly Park nearby. She was quite determined to see him, but more inflexible than that resolve was the Euclidean postulate that no one in Tilling should think that she had taken any deliberate step to do so.

Euclid crops up again later, when Miss Mapp has outlined to Diva Plaistow her well-grounded theory that Major Flint and Captain Puffin had both run way from the prospect of a duel and tried to escape upon the early train, "Diva by this time was trundling away round the room, and longing to be off in order to tell everybody. She could find no hole in Elizabeth's arguments; it was founded as solidly as a Euclidian proposition."

Active in Alexandria during the reign of Ptolemy I (323-283BC) Greek mathematician Euclid (meaning, good glory) is often considered the "father of geometry." In his "Elements," Euclid deduced the principles of Euclidean geometry from a small set of intuitively appealing axioms - and deduced many other propositions or theorems from these. In Geometry the parallel postulate is also called Euclid's fifth postulate because it is the fifth postulate in his "Elements" and is a distinctive axiom.   The reader is not advised whether or not Miss Mapp was familiar with the parallel postulate or any or all of Euclid's propositions or axioms, but it seems very likely that both Euclid of Alexandria and Elizabeth Mapp of Tilling were equally confident that their respective axioms were rigorous and incapable of disproof.

Evening Gazette ~ London newspaper - price one penny - featuring society news column by Hermione in which Lucia's outings in society were covered, virtually daily. See Hermione and Stephen Merriall.

Evie Bartlett ~ mouse-like wife of Kenneth Bartlett, vicar of Tilling. Evie was very insignificant, even when she squeaked her loudest: she had been wilted by non-recognition.

F ~ is for Flooding

2008-03-18T18:27:00.133Z

Faraglione ~ the family name of the Count and Contessa di Faraglione whose home lay on the pretty and historic isle of Capri. Relatives of the Wyses of Whitchurch and notably Algernon and Susan Wyse, MBE of Tilling

Faradiddleony ~ the name mockingly ascribed to the Faragliones, soi-disant aristocratic Italian relations of Algernon and Susan Wyse in some sections of Tilling society inclined towards irony, notably Elizabeth Mapp-Flint and Diva Plaistow. Whilst Elizabeth and Diva often jokingly referred to Contessa Amelia as "Faradiddleony", Lucia called her "Contessa Thingummy."

Fanny's way, pretty ~ see Pretty Fanny's Way.

Faust and Marguerite and Mephistophelese and Martha ~ Olga Bracely had invited Mrs Weston and Colonel Boucher to dine at "Old Place" with Georgie Pillson with the express intention of shepherding the elderly couple towards matrimony - like their servants Elizabeth and Atkinson. Olga had even tried to encourage Colonel Boucher by hinting - not very subtly and somewhat implausibly - that Georgie was "in love with Mrs Weston" and was "so young."

Olga went on "And I must be cad again. I'm going up to my bedroom - you may come too if you like -because it commands a view of Church Road. I shouldn't sleep a wink unless I knew if he had gone in with her. It'll be precisely like Faust and Marguerite going into the house, and you and I are Mephistopheles and Martha. Come quick."

It appears that diva Olga Bracely was referring to Charles Gounod's grand opera in five acts "Faust," which made its debut in Paris in 1859, with a libretto by James Barber and Michel Carre, from Carre's play "Faust et Marguerite," which in turn was loosely based on Goethe's "Faust Part 1."

In a busy third Act, Faust sends Mephistopheles to find a gift for Marguerite and he brings a decorated box containing jewels and leaves it on her doorstep. Her neighbour, Martha suggests the jewels are from an admirer and Marguerite tries on the jewels and is captivated by them. Faust and Mephistopheles romance Marguerite and Martha in the garden and, after Faust kisses Marguerite, she asks him to go, but later sings at her window for his quick return. Under what has been called "the watchful eye and malevolent laughter of Mephistopheles", it is clear that Faust's seduction of Marguerite will be successful.

It is not clear in the slightest what actually transpired between Colonel Boucher and Mrs Weston after they were seen to enter her house that evening, other than it was followed virtually immediately by the announcement of their engagement to be married.

Fergus, Mr ~ dentist in Tilling.

Festina lente ~ Lucia and Georgie were in Tilling Church discussing Lucia's donation of funding for refurbishment and upgrading of the church organ and the service of dedication and recital due to take place in a month or less. Lucia intended to open the recital herself with some little piece (inevitably the first movement of the Moonlight) and then make way for the organist.

Georgie offered to play the pedals. Lucia accepted, "I was going to suggest that, and help with the stops. I have progressed, I know, and I'm glad you like my touch, but I hardly think I could manage the whole complicated business alone yet. Festina lente. Let us practice in the dinner hour every day."

This classical adage means "make haste slowly." It has been used in literature and as the motto of many including emperors, Augustus and Vespasian.

"Fidelio" ~ over lunch with Georgie, a propos of the composition by Signor Cortese of his new opera "Lucretia" specifically for Olga Bracely, Lucia remarked "Even in the divinest music of all, I am not blind to defects, if there are defects. 'The Moonlight Sonata' for instance. You have often heard me say that the last two movements do not approach the first in perfection of form. And, if I am permitted to criticize Beethoven , I hope I may be allowed to suggest that Mr Cortese has not produced an opera which will render 'Fidelio' ridiculous.

Ludwig van Beethoven's only opera, "Fidelio" (Op. 72) is in two acts in which Leonore, disguised as Fidelio, a prison guard, rescues her husband Florestan from death in a political prison. It was first performed in its original three Act form in 1805. The German libretto is by Joseph Sonnleithner from the French of Jean-Nicolas Bouilly, which had been used for the 1798 opera Léonore, ou L’Amour Conjugal by Pierre Gaveaux, and for the 1804 opera Leonora by Ferdinando Paer.  See Beethoven, "Moonlight Sonata", Cortese and "Lucretia."

"Fierce raged the tempest o'er the deep" ~  the Padre felt that he must do his best to restore peace after the clash about to take place between the public lectures to be given by Lucia and Miss Mapp setting out their respective accounts of their ordeal amidst the Gallagher Banks and dashed off two notes to the protagonists. He indicated that a few friends (this was a lie, because he had thought of it himself) had suggested to him how suitable it would be that he should hold a short service of thanksgiving for their escape from the perils of the sea and of cod fisheries. He proposed therefore that this service should take place directly after baptisms on Sunday afternoon. It would be quite short, a few prayers,the general thanksgiving, a hymn ("Fierce raged the tempest o'er the deep") and a few words from himself. He hoped the two ladies would sit together in the front pew which had been occupied at the memorial service by the chief mourners. Both were charmed with the idea, for neither dared refuse for fear of putting herself in the wrong.

The words of the very apt hymn were written by Godfrey Thring in 1862 and music St Aelred was composed by John B Dykes:

Fierce raged the tempest o’er the deep,

Watch did Thine anxious servants keep
But Thou wast wrapped in guileless sleep,
Calm and still.

“Save, Lord, we perish,” was their cry,
“O save us in our agony!”
Thy word above the storm rose high,
“Peace, be still.”

The wild winds hushed; the angry deep
Sank, like a little child, to sleep;
The sullen billows ceased to leap,
At Thy will.

So, when our life is clouded o’er,
And storm winds drift us from the shore,
Say, lest we sink to rise no more,
“Peace, be still.”

Fiftieth birthday ~ Lucia passed her fiftieth birthday having relocated to Tilling. After surviving being washed out to sea on an upturned kitchen table with Elizabeth Mapp, Lucia was now happily settled at Grebe just outside the town. She had marked her half-century by successfully immersing herself in share dealing, following the example of her role model and heroine, the late Dame Catherine Winterglass. The Jubilee was celebrated with Georgie and her new friends from Tilling and spiritedly marked with a cake with fifty-one candles - so as to prepare her for her next birthday. See Age.

Figgis ~ somewhat brusque yet lugubrious and monosyllabic butler of Algernon and Susan Wyse. Originally Mr Wyse's valet. Accidentally retained Diva Plaistow's dinner invitation in his overcoat pocket, but avoided dismissal.

Fire pot ~ a saucepan of tar bubbling over a pot of red hot coals used to doctor telegraph posts. Whilst Lucia was in the early stage of learning to ride a bicycle and practising assiduously on a quiet lane outside Tilling, she went out of control and rode straight into the fire pot, upsetting the tar and scattering the coals.

Lucia experienced this unfortunate compulsion to collide with the fire pot more than once and on each occasion apologised and tipped the operator half a crown. On the second collision the operator reminded Lucia that it was she and her pals cocked up on the Bench who fined me five bob last month, for not being half as unsteady as you.

First call ~ by convention, the first call on a stranger in Riseholme was never supposed to last more than half an hour, however much you were enjoying it, and never less, however bored you might be. Thus, despite being enchanted by his new acquaintance, Georgie Pillson was obliged to drag himself away from Olga Bracely on their first meeting in Riseholme at the due time.

Fish shop, Other ~ Elizabeth Mapp and most of her circle patronised the fish shop of Mr Hopkins. Unfortunately Miss Mapp was acutely embarrassed by coming upon Mr Hopkins posing for Quaint Irene Coles in his "bathing drawers" and, for a time, obtained her piscine requirements from the other fish shop in Tilling.

Unfortunately the prices at the other fish shop were as high as the quality was low. This prompted the pragmatic and thrifty Miss Mapp gradually to resume normal relations and she told herself that "there was nothing actually immoral in the human skin, however embarrassing it was." See Mr Hopkins.

Five o'clock Chit-Chat ~ society gossip column over the renowned signature of Hermione which often detailed many of Lucia's activities in London. See Hermione.

Flint ~ Major Benjamin, Benjy ~ see Benjamin Flint

Flooding ~ a regular phenomenon on the low-lying land between the town of Tilling and the sea. On one occasion Lucia and Mrs Mapp-Flint were swept out to sea on a stout kitchen table when the embanked sea defences were breached near to Grebe, but lived to tell the tale - often and at length.

On another, bungalows out beyond the town temporarily occupied in high season by the Mapp-Flints and vicar Kenneth and Evie Bartlett were flooded. Lucia found lodgings for her displaced neighbours at Mallards House until the waters had receded. The Mapp-Flints were particularly tarsome during their stay and were very reluctant to confine themselves to the sitting room allocated to them by Lucia; they much preferred the charming garden room - but then who wouldn't?

"Flotsam" and "Jetsam" ~ two thin volumes of poems by Philip Lucas printed in blunt hand- set type on thick yellowish paper by "Ye Signe of Ye Daffodile" on the village green in Riseholme. The titles were printed on the outside cover in black-letter type and the covers were further adorned with a sort of embossed seal and with antique-looking tapes, so that you could tie it up with two bows when you had finished with Mr Lucas's "Flotsam" for the time being and turned to "Jetsam."In form the odes in question were cast in the loose rhythm of Walt Whitman, but their smooth suavity bore no resemblance whatever to the production of he whom Benson, with tongue firmly in cheek or with uncharacteristic lack of charity, refers to as "that barbaric bard". See Philip Lucas, Poetry, Walt Whitman, "Loneliness"

Foljambe, Doris (Miss) ~ very pretty parlour maid who also valeted for Georgie Pillson. A peerless servant - that paragon of all parlour maids - upon whom he relied completely to run his household - apart from dusting his precious bibelots. Foljambe made it very clear to her employer that she only approved of having to serve up to six at dinner, although he did go so far as eight for the Christmas dinner arranged at the instigation of Olga Bracely, daring to say that "she must lump it". Foljambe expressed her disapproval of the number by being somewhat miserly in dispensing the champagne that evening.

Foljambe's talents included easily controlling Hermione and Ursula Pillson's unruly Irish terrier, Tiptree. Her life's work was Foljambizing to Georgie. Sometimes testy when shown insufficient respect - as when the Padre dared to call her "my lassie" when billeted with Georgie whilst his seaside bungalow was flooded.

By the time of Georgie's first visit to Tilling, the estimable Foljambe had been in his service for fifteen years. During that summer, accompanied her employer with Cadman on a short stay in an hotel in Folkstone, when Georgie went away and Lucia feigned influenza during the visit to Tilling of Amelia, Contessa di Fariglione. During the trip Georgie reported by letter to Lucia that Foljambe and Cadman had a row, "but I'm afraid they've made it up."

When, on his permanent move to Tilling, Georgie moved his belongings into the newly-leased "Mallards Cottage," Isabel Poppit forgot to arrange for her belongings to be removed. In consequence they all had to be moved back inside, out of the rain, and Foljambe was caught upstairs by the rising tide of cupboards, tables, books , crockery and saucepans and could not come down. The climax of intensity arrived when she let down a string from an upper window, and Georgie's cook attached a small basket of nourishing food to it.

Foljambe sang in a high buzzing voice. The sound of this "rancid noise" filled Georgie with the liveliest satisfaction, for Foljambe seldom sang and when she did, it meant she was delighted with her lot in life and was planing all sorts of pleasures for his comfort.

Married Cadman, Lucia's chauffeur, after Georgie and Lucia had moved to Tilling, but continued to serve Georgie and, like a famous actress, retained her maiden name. The disposition of Foljambe's time between days with Georgie and nights with Cadman worked to admiration - practically assisted by the provision of a char lady to relieve Foljambe's own domestic burdens.

When Lucia was missing at sea with Miss Mapp, Foljambe was exceptionally attentive to a distressed Georgie and waited on him at dinner with particular attention, constantly holding a pocket handkerchief to the end of her nose, by way of expressing her own grief.

Georgie was dependent upon Foljambe and signalled the most urgent need for her services by ringing his bell three times in succession. This was the signal to Foljambe that even if she was in her bath she must come at once.

The three occasions on which this took place were the dramatic discovery of the theft of his beloved bibelots by the curry cook, once when a fish bone stuck in his throat and once again when a note had announced to him that Piggy was going to call and hoped to find him alone. See William and Mary.

Folkstone ~ nearby resort visited by Georgie Pillson during the visit to Tilling of Amelia di Faraglione -to avoid her becoming aware of the lack of fluency of Lucia and Georgie's Italian.

Food ~ as one would expect in the depiction of middle class society centred upon life in the home and those of one's friends at luncheons, bridge teas and dinner parties, food plays a prominent part in the Mapp and Lucia canon.

Pride of place must of course go to the legendary Lobster a la Riseholme which naturally has its own entry in this Glossary, as do Boon's delicious and intoxicating redcurrant fool and Diva Plaistow's savoury sardine tartlets.

Elsewhere, dishes consumed reflect the time and social echelon of the characters concerned. At luncheon at "The Hurst" in Riseholme, Lucia and Pepino are served macaroni au gratin, first in July and later in December: obviously a favourite chez Lucas.

Macaroni, which Mr Wyse had brought back with him from a visit to his sister Amelia, Contessa di Faraglione in Capri, was also on the menu when he gave lunch (or "breakfast" as he quaintly preferred to call it) to Elizabeth Mapp, Diva Plaistow and Susan Poppit. This was followed by quails and figs, also from Capri.

When visiting her brother Algernon in Tilling, the Contessa went marketing with the biggest basket she could find (since she aspired to be du monde with all the great ladies of the town) and purchased a large crab for her brother and herself and a bloody steak for Figgis.

Catering at Lucia's garden party at "The Hurst" included peaches and four sorts of sandwiches. Later consumables delivered to "The Hurst" in time for the weekend stay of Lucia's fashionable guests from London included several pounds of salmon, literally dozens of eggs, two chickens and a leg of lamb, as well as countless other unidentified provisions.

On May Day, Lucia had roasted a leg of mutton on the Elizabethan spit at "The Hurst" whilst they all sat round in jerkins, stomachers and hose and all the perfumes of Arabia had hardly sufficed to quell the odour of roast meat which had pervaded the room for weeks afterwards.

Before her marriage to Algernon Wyse , Susan Poppit served him roast grouse. Before and after marriage Mr Wyse proclaimed his aristocratic Italian connections with the signature dish eggs a la Capri, alluding to its origins in the kitchens of brother-in- law Cecco, Cont di Faraglione on that sunlit and historic Mediterranean isle. The table at Starling Cottage often groaned with other Faraglione delicacies, such as honey, chestnuts, figs and wine and sophisticated dishes such as caviare from Odessa, roe deer from Perthshire quail and endive salad.

Food was on occasion a tool in social intercourse in Tilling, as when Diva Plaistow invested the ruinous sum of four shillings in a large dressed crab of which the Padre was inordinately fond and with which she successfully enticed him to luncheon, so that she might extract from him first-hand an account of what transpired amidst the sand dunes in the duel-that-never-was between Major Flint and Captain Puffin. Dressed crab was also a particular favourite of the barbophilic Duchess of Sheffield, whose diet consisted only of the delicious crustacean and black coffee.

At the dinner party given by Susan and Algernon Wyse shortly after Lucia had moved into "Mallards House," guests were served soup, turbot, chicken, an oyster savoury, chestnut ice a la Capri with brandy and a compote of figs with honey.

Drinks included sherry, cocktails, wine, champagne and port. Excessive consumption certainly played a part in Major Benjy's injudicious behaviour that evening, culminating in being found by his wife alone with Lucia with his hand upon her knee. This had untold consequences on society in Tilling for several weeks hence, very nearly ruining its usual abandoned enjoyment of the summer strawberry season.

When sheltering the Mapp-Flints and Evie Bartlett at "Mallards House" when their summer lettings had beeen flooded, Lucia endeavoured to cater for their individual tastes. One day there was haggis for the Padre who was being particularly Scotch, and one day there were stewed prunes for Elzabeth, and fiery curry for Major Benjy in his more Indian moods, and parsnips for Evie who had a passion for that deplorable vegetable.

Before the advent of the guru the Quantock's incompetent cook presented sad grey mutton and cod fish that damaged Robert's digestion and temper. Both improved markedly when the guru donned his curry cook hat and quickly whipped up a curry of mutton and rice and then a fish curry employing a pinch of pepper, a tomato, a little mutton fat, a sardine, a bit of cheese, a scraping of gentleman's relish and a little nutmeg. This prompted Robert to suggest unsuccessfully that the guru be offered the job of cook at forty pounds a year and beer money.

On arriving very late at their brother's house in Riseholme, his mischievous sisters Hermy and Ursy helped themselves to a midnight feast of ham, bread, marmalade, Stilton, buns and a bottle of champagne.

Some eighteen or nineteen bottles of champagne were reputedly served at Olga Bracely's informal romp at "Old Place" in Riseholme with dishes including ham, lobster salad and (according to Lucia) caviar sandwiches.

At dinner for Colonel Boucher, Mrs Weston served brill and whole partridges with a bottle of old Bergundy.

In Tilling, strawberries were served at tea when they were cheap and in season and staples ranged from Major Benjy's porridge to Diva Plaistows's nougat chocolates. Dressed crab was a particular favourite of the Padre and visiting aristocrat, Poppy Duchess of Sheffield.

For breakfast, Major Benjy favoured porridge on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and grew irritable when it was burned.

Thrifty Elizabeth Mapp often served substantial chocolate cakes as a means of dulling her guests' appetites at bridge teas. Older hands such as Diva Plaistow however were aware of their consistency and instead nearly cleared a plate of jumbles, which the hostess had hoped would form a pleasant accompaniment to her dessert at her supper that evening.

Elizabeth Mapp often ate plainly such as dab purchased from Mr Hopkins and cold apple tart. She also enjoyed pate de foie gras, as evidenced by Lucia's generous Christmas gift.

Lucia served Georgie what was initially described as stewed lobster for lunch during her letting of "Mallards"on the occasion of breaking the news of Foljambe's impending marriage to Cadman. This appeared possibly to have been a different dish from the acclaimed and legendary Lobster a la Riseholme, but Benson subsequently referred to Lucia having served Georgie the famous dish of lobster a la Riseholme a few weeks ago to act as a buffer to break the shock of Foljambe's engagement.

As well as Lobster a la Riseholme, the recipe book of Lucia's cooks at "Grebe" included oeufs a l'aurore and cheese straws.

Quaint Irene was known to enjoy lobster - as when her gigantic maid Lucy (who but for her sex might have been in the guards) was ill with scarlet fever and she said jokingly to Miss Mapp, "Come and have tiffin, qui hai, I've got to look after myself today." The reader is not advised how the lobster was prepared and served at Taormina that day.

For dinner, Lucia's fare included nougat chocolates for Diva Plaistow and a fiery curry for Major Flint plus purple figs bought from the greengrocers but plucked from the tree outside the garden room.

At their traditional dinner-lunch at "Mallards" on Christmas Day Elizabeth Mapp entertained Diva Plaistow to terrine of pate de foie gras (a gift from Lucia and Georgie) roast turkey and plum pudding.

The informal supper party held by the Wyses at Starling Cottage on the first evening following the loss at sea of Lucia and Miss Mapp, began with the most delicious caviare and continued with cold turkey, fried slices of plum pudding, toasted cheese and figs stuffed with almonds sent by Amelia from Capri.

Forced to vacate "Mallards" at the shortest of notice on the sudden return from the Gallagher Bank of Elizabeth Mapp, Major Flint in his own house ate a solitary supper of a pork pie and a bottle of Burgundy.

During her stay on the fishing trawler on the Gallagher Bank, Lucia and Miss Mapp had subsisted mainly upon fish. When Grosvenor put some fish before Lucia, she said, "Oh, take it away. Never let me see fish again, particulalrly cod, as long as I live. Tell the cook."

Georgie served pheasant to Lucia for lunch at "Mallards Cottage" - and grew rather irritated, since Lucia was pontificating about rates and issues in the impending local election that she laid down her knife and fork let her pheasant get cold to his great annoyance. She subsequently resumed her duty towards the pheasant and wolfed it down.

More game appeared when Lucia and Georgie served partridge at a dinner party for the Mapp-Flints, Wyses and Bartletts. For dessert there was raspberry souffle. Next day Elizabeth Mapp-Flint reported musingly to Diva Plaistow, "Partridges a little tough. Old birds are cheaper, of course," and that Susan had worn Blue birdie as a breastplate: "it fell into the raspberry souffle. Plop!"

When the Mapp-Flints entertained their summer tenant of Grebe, Miss Leg, the novelist Rudolph da Vinci, to dinner at the Parsonage, they served tomato soup, middle cut of salmon sent over from Hornbridge, a brace of grouse from Rice's, Melba peaches, but only bottled with custard instead of cream, and tinned caviare. Diva Plaistow remarked "And Elizabeth called it pot luck. I never had such luck there , pot or unpot."

Food then forms the backdrop for events in Tilling as much as bridge and seagulls.

Fool ~ see Redcurrant Fool

Ford Place ~ a road or street inTilling. Elizabeth Map-Flint mentioned during dinner at "Mallards House" that there had been a fire there last week: the fire brigade were in attendance there in three minutes of the alarm benig given and had extinguished the fire in five minutes more.

Freud Sigmund Freud, Sigismund Schlomo Freud ~ Just before her Summer lease of "Mallards" in Tilling Lucia felt, " We must read some Freud, I think; I have read none at present." Sigmund Freud (1856-1939) was an Austrian Jewish neurologist who founded the psychoanalytical method of psychiatry. He is best known for his theories of the unconscious mind, the defence mechanism of repression and the identification of sexual desire as the primary motivational energy of human life. His therapeutic techniques included the use of free association, the theory of transference in the therapeutic relationship and the interpretation of dreams as a means of insight into unconscious desires.

Friendship's Border ~ When Susan Poppit who was casting aspersions (if not nasturtiums) on the quality of Elizabeth Mapp's rose bed at "Mallards" and adding injury to insult by offering to send her gardener - if she had one - a dozen vigorous bushes, Miss Mapp declined since "That rose bed is quite sacred." She added that not all the vigorous young bushes in the world would tempt her since"It's my Friendship's Border: some dear friend gave me each of my roses."

This rebuttal prompted Mrs Poppit to think that some of the dear friends must be centenarians

"Funeral March of a Marionette" ~ at Olga Bracely's dinner party prior to her departure from Riseholme to 25 Brompton Square, Lucia surprised everyone by ruthlessly bowling over, like nine pins, every article of her own Riseholme creed, which saw Bolshevism in all modern art, inanity in crossword puzzles and Bridge and aimless vacuity in London. Immediately after, the fresh tune on the wireless (to which she was now devoted) began, and most unfortunately they came in for the funeral March of a Marionette. A spasm of pain crossed Lucia's face and Olga abruptly tuned off this sad reminder of unavailing woe (regarding the late lamented and demented Aunt Amy, rather than any specific perceived defect in the composition.)

Compounding a musical reference with a literary one, the phrase "unavailing woe" seems to be quoted from Byron's poem "Child Harolde's Pilgrimage":
XCI. And thou, my friend! since unavailing woe
Bursts from my heart, and mingles with the strain -
Had the sword laid thee with the mighty low,
Pride might forbid e'en Friendship to complain:..

The slight but charming "Funeral March of a Marionette" was written by French composer Charles-Francois Gounod (1818-1893) originally as one of the movements of an uncompleted Suite Burlesque. The piece tells a story and apparently reflects upon the "briefness and weariness of life, even for marionettes."

G ~ is for Grebe

2008-03-18T18:26:00.135Z

Galahad ~ Stephen Merriall had just left Lucia at 25 Brompton Square and was walking down Brompton Road. He was disturbed since Lucia had behaved very oddly, holding his hand and sitting too closely to him on the sofa. Although he and Lucia were excellent friends, they had many tastes in common, but Stephen would sooner never see her again than have an intrigue with her. He was no hand, to begin with at amorous adventures, and even if he had been, he could not conceive of a woman more ill-adapted to dally with than Lucia. Galahad and Artemis would make a better job of it than Lucia and me,' he muttered to himself, turning hastily away from a window full of dainty underclothing for ladies.

Stephen Merriall referred to Galahad here since he was the very epitome of chivalric gallantry and purity. Illegitimate son of Lancelot and Elaine of Corbenic, Gallahad was a knight of the Round Table and one of the three achievers of the Holy Grail in Arthurian tradition and perhaps the embodiment of Jesus. Considered the perfect knight in courage, gentleness, courtesy and chivalry, he is recognised as able to conquer all of his enemies because of his purity. Tennyson reflects and glorifies Galahad's ongoing purity with the words:

"I never felt the kiss of love,
Nor maiden's hand in mine."

Given such virginal innocence, one can well understand why Stephen Merriall felt there were parallels between himself and Galahad, when he feared being unjustly viewed as Lucia's illicit lover. See Hermione and Artemis.

Gallagher Banks ~ fishing grounds where the Italian trawler which picked up Lucia and Miss Mapp spent several months after they had been whisked out to sea on the kitchen table when a flood inundated Grebe. Lucia explained that it was situated "as far from Ireland as it is from America" and that they were there for two months: "Cod, cod ,cod, nothing but cod, and Elizabeth snoring all night in the cabin we shared together."

Gall and wormwood ~ Daisy Quantock was having to come to terms with the implications of Lucia's return to Riseholme following her sojourn at 25, Brompton Square. Daisy knew that her position as the priestess of Abfou was tottering. It was true that she had not celebrated the mysteries of late, for Riseholme (and she) had got rather tired of Abfou, but it was gall and wormwood to think that Lucia should steal (steal was the word) her invention and bring it out under the patronage of Vittoria as something quite new.

Yet again, Benson appears to be quoting from the Bible. The earliest use of the phrase gall and wormwood is usually regarded as appearing in Lamentations 3:19: Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood and the gall. Also in Deuteronomy 29:18: Lest there should be among you man, or woman, or family , or tribe, whose heart turneth away this day from the Lord our God, to go serve the gods of these nations; lest there should be among you a root that beareth gall and wormwood.

Gall and wormwood are bitter and poisonous and thus the term implies something acutely mortifying or vexing or a bitter or unpleasant experience. For Daisy Quantock, Lucia's usurpation with Vittoria of her crown with Abfou as Riseholme's leading amateur psychic double act was indeed gall and wormwood. See Abfou and Vittoria.

Gamaliel ~ when his sisters Hermy and Ursy had, to their great delight, recognised the Guru and threatened to reveal their discovery to all and sundry, Georgie was vexed. The situation would be absolutely intolerable if Hermy and Ursy spread about Riseholme the fact that the innocent circle of Yoga philosophers had sat at the feet of no Gamaliel at all, but at those of a curry-cook from some low restaurant.

Grandson of the great Jewish teacher Hillel the Elder, Gamaliel the Elder (Greek form of the Hebrew name: reward of God)  was a leading authority in the Sanhedrin in the mid first century. He is celebrated in the New Testament as a highly respected Pharisee doctor of Jewish law who advised his fellow members of the Sanhedrin not to put to death St Peter and the Apostles. His authoritative advice was unwelcome but acted upon. In this context Gamaliel is intended to embody impeccable intellectual rigour, the polar opposite of the Guru, a con artist and thief.

Ganges ~ when Georgie Pillson visited his neighbour in Riseholme, Daisy Quantock, their hot topic of conversation was the recently arrived Indian Guru who was staying in the Quantock's spare room and husband Robert's dressing room.

Leaving later that evening, Georgie's last backward glance as he went out of the front door revealed Daisy standing on one leg again, which reminded him of a print of a uniped fakir in Benares. If the stream that flowed into the Avon could be construed into the Ganges, and the garden into the burning ghaut, and the swooping swallows into the kites, and the neat parlour-maid who showed him out into a Brahmin, and the Chinese gong that was so prominent an object in the hall into a piece of Benares brassware, he could almost have fancied himself as standing on the brink of the sacred river. The marigolds in the garden required no transmutation..Georgie had quite 'to pull himself together'.

Rising in the western Himalayas, in the Indian state of Uttarakhand, the Ganges, that most sacred river to Hindus and worshipped as the goddess "Ganga" is 1,569 miles in length. It flows south and east through the heavily populated Gangetic plain of North India into Bangladesh and then to the Bay of Bengal.

Interestingly, Rudyard Kipling's story The Madness of Private Ortheris includes the line "We shot all the forenoon, and killed two pariah-dogs, four green parrots sitting, one kite by the burning-ghaut..." which may have inspired this Kipling-esque interlude in cool and leafy Riseholme.   See Rudyard Kipling and burning ghaut.

"Garden of Sleep, The" ~ when Elizabeth Mapp was cutting out her poppies in the corn from curtains to adorn an outfit in competition with Diva Plaistow's chintz roses, she remembered some sweet verses she had once read by Bernard Shaw or Clement Shorter or somebody like that about a garden of sleep somewhere in Norfolk...

Fond though Elizabeth Mapp may have been of the works of Shaw or Mrs Clement Shorter, the sweet verses in question appear to have come from a popular poem by Clement Scott (1841-1904) called "The Garden of Sleep" where the term "Poppy-land" first appeared. Scott was the influential and acerbic theatre critic of the "Daily Telegraph." He was also a poet, playwright and travel writer. He visited the north Norfolk coast in 1883 and wrote to the "Daily Telegraph" of "a blue sky without a cloud across it, a sea sparkling under a haze of heat and wild flowers in profusion."   His enthusiasm for the stretch of north Norfolk coast from Sheringham to Mundesley, helped inspire other Victorian poets to visit including Wilde, Swinburne, Watts-Dunton and Tennyson. "The Garden of Sleep" was said to have been composed in Sidestrand churchyard:

On the grass of the cliff, at the edge of the steep,
God planted a garden - a garden of sleep!
'Neath the blue of sky, in the green of the corn,
It is there that the regal red poppies are born!
Brief days of desire, and long dreams of delight,
They are mine when Poppy-Land cometh in sight.
In music of distance, with eyes that are wet,
It is there I remember, and there I forget!
O! heart of my heart! where the poppies are born,
I am waiting for thee, in the hush of the corn.
Sleep! Sleep!
From the Cliff to the Deep!
Sleep, my Poppy-Land,
Sleep!
In my garden of sleep, where red poppies are spread,
I wait for the living, alone with the dead!
For a tower in ruins stands guard o'er the deep,
At whose feet are green graves of dear women asleep!
Did they love as I love, when they lived by the sea?
Did they wait as I wait, for the days that may be?
Was it hope or fulfilling that entered each breast,
Ere death gave release, and the poppies gave rest?
O! life of my life! on the cliffs by the sea,
By the graves in the grass, I am waiting for thee!
Sleep! Sleep!
In the Dews of the Deep!
Sleep, my Poppy-Land,
Sleep!

The tower mentioned was Craske's Tower at Sidestrand, where Clement Scott rented the Mill House. Craske's Tower fell into the sea in about 1916 or 1917, as did the graveyard attached to the church. Paradoxically, in popularising the area for retirees and holidaymakers, Scott helped to impair the peace and beauty he found so appealing and create the "Bungalow-land" he most feared. One can but wonder if he would have been touched at the tribute to his sweetly sentimental lines constituted by Miss Mapp of Tilling's meditation upon them whilst carrying out her dexterous handiwork of cutting out and applying so many of his favourite poppies amidst the corn. See George Bernard Shaw and Clement Shorter.

Garden Room ~ the entrancing sunny garden room of Mallards was the biggest and best room in Mallards. Sycophantically, Major Flint referred to it as "The pleasantest room in Tilling, I always say, Miss Elizabeth." It was spacious and cool in summer, with one window shaded with the big leaves of a fig tree.

Solid and spacious, it was built at right angles to the front of the house and situated a few yards away from the house itself. It commanded from its bow window a strategical point of high value, affording a unique unrestricted view down Porpoise Street to the High Street in Tilling and in the other direction past Mallards Cottage to the church. A favourite eyrie from which Elizabeth Mapp and latterly Lucia might comfortably view the goings-on about the town.

After her marriage to Major Benjy, Elizabeth had generously surrendered the garden room to him and, instead of her watercolours, the walls were hung with heads of deer and antelopes, the spoil of Benjy's sporting expeditions in India and a trophy consisting of spears and arrows and rhinoceros-hide whips and an apron made of shells, and on the floor were his moth eaten tiger skins. A stern business table stood in the window, a leather chair like a hip bath in her cosy corner, a gun stand with golf clubs against the wall and, instead of dripping with the feminine knick-knacks of the days of Elizabeth's virginity, the room now reeked of masculinity and stale cigar smoke

Gashly, Mrs ~ Captain Puffin's cook.

Garroby Ashton, MP ~ MP for Riseholme. Husband of Elsie/Millicent

Garroby Ashton, Elsie / Millicent or Millie ~ wife of the MP for Riseholme. A member of Lucia's social circle in London and avid Luciaphil. Rather like Aggie Sandeman, Mrs Garroby Ashton, could not quite keep pace with Lucia's ascent of London society. Thus she was disappointed not to be bidden to Adele Buxton's country house party were the creme de la creme gathered before the annual dispersion. Lucia was sorry for dear Millicent's disappointment, she could not but look down on it, as a perch far below her showed how dizzily she herself had gone upwards. But she had no intention of dropping good kind Millie who was hopping about below: she must certainly come to The Hurst for a Sunday: that would be nice for her, and she would learn about Adele's party.

Gelasius ~ Lucia cleverly bought and displayed beside a false Chippendale mirror in her drawing room a coloured print of Vandyk's portrait of Gelasius (believed to be the Dutch theologian, Guilielmus Saldenus (1627 - 1694)) to help persuade Georgie to retain the beard he had grown during a painful attack of shingles. The painting showed Gelasius with a most distinguished face: high eye-browed with a luxuriant crop of auburn hair and a small pointed beard. Lucia's ruse worked and Georgie's small, neatly trimmed and pointed goatee, dyed to match his hair (and toupet), soon masked his receding first and plump second chin as, in small part, an homage to Gelasius - and in large part an homage to Lucia. See Vandyk.

General Confession ~ the Sunday morning after Olga Bracely's successful and very informal "romp" at Old Place, a disgruntled Lucia came to church rather late with Peppino, having no use for the General Confession, and sang with stony fervour.

General Confession refers to the reception of the sacrament of penance, either a private confession of past sins or, as in this case, when associated with the granting of absolution to the congregation when a general formula for confession is recited.

The General Confession from The Book of Common Prayer 1662 is as follows:

Almighty God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Maker of all things, Judge of all men: We acknowledge and bewail our manifold sins and wickedness, Which we, from time to time, most grievously have committed, By thought, word and deed, Against thy Divine Majesty, Provoking most justly thy wrath and indignation against us. We do earnestly repent, And are heartily sorry for these our misdoings; The remembrance of them is grievous unto us; The burden of them is intolerable.   Have mercy upon us, have mercy upon us, most merciful Father; For thy Son our Lord Jesus Christ's sake, Forgive us all that is past; And grant that we may ever hereafter Serve and please thee In newness of life, To the honour and glory of thy name; Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen

Geneva ~ Lucia told Georgie that she had decided to terminate her financial career. She cited the continual strain and found it absorbed her too much: "It keeps me on the stretch to be always watching the markets and estimating the effect of political disturbances. The Polish Corridor, Hitler, Geneva and the new American President. I shall close my ledgers".

By referring to Geneva in the context of political disturbance at this time , Lucia seems to be pointing to the League of Nations, the precursor to the United Nations, founded by the Treaty of Versailles to prevent war through collective security, disarmament and settling disputes by negotiation or arbitration plus other policing functions in trafficking, arms, health, prisoners of war and minorities. At its largest between 1934-1935, it had 58 members. Topically for "Lucia 's Progress", the World Disarmament Conference was convened by the League of Nations in Geneva in 1932 with representatives of 60 states. Ultimately the League failed to outlaw war, limit rearmament or prevent territorial acquisition by threat or aggression. See Polish Corridor, Hitler and the new American President.

George I ~ When Lucia and Georgie arrived in Tilling for the first time, the town lay basking in the hot June sunshine, and its narrow streets abounded in red brick houses with tiled roofs, that shouted Queen Anne and George I in Lucia's enraptured ears, and made Georgie's fingers itch for his sketching tools.

On the death of Queen Anne in 1714 her closest living Protestant relative, George I (1660-1727), ascended the throne as the first monarch of the House of Hanover.  His reign saw the diminution of the powers of the monarch and the transition towards cabinet government and Sir Robert Walpole, Britain's first de facto prime minister.

Architecturally, the Georgian succeeded the English baroque of Wren, Vanbrugh, Archer, Talman and Hawksmoor. Georgian style was linked with Greek and Roman classical influence which had increased markedly in consequence of the growing practice amongst the monied aristocracy of the Grand Tour. In the mainstream were both Palladian architecture and its more whimsical alternatives Gothic and Chinoiserie, developing into the Neo-classicism of Adam, Gibbs, Chambers, Holland and Soane. Identifying features seen around parts of Tilling (and coincidentally, Rye) included simple two-storey boxes, using strictly symmetrical arrangements including chimneys, panel front doors centres topped with rectangular windows and embellished cornices. The by-words of Georgian classicism are understated elegance as opposed to the fussier baroque that had passed before and this appears to be what appealed to Lucia about "Mallards."  See Queen Anne.

George Pillson, Georgie ~ brother of Hermione and Ursula and lately married to Lucia or Emmeline Lucas, widow of Phillip Lucas.

Residents of Riseholme and later of Tilling always thought of George Pillson as Georgie. His main role in life was as cavaliere servente, gentleman-in-waiting or ADC to Lucia. Her devoted henchman, he was the implacably Platonic but devout lover of Lucia. He was her devoted subordinate and courtier with the complete trust and approval of Lucia's first husband Philip or Pepino.

Georgie was not an obtrusively masculine sort of person. His embroidery did not go down well with military men such as Colonel Boucher and Major Flint, who on first seeing him in Tilling scornfully remarked,"That fellow whom I saw with Mrs Lucas this morning with a cape over his arm? Not much of a hand against the Spaniards, I should think. Ridiculous! Tea parties with a lot of old cats more in his line. Pshaw!" Major Benjy's contempt for Georgie and his sketches and his needle work had been intensified by the sight of his yachting cap, which he pronounced to be only fit for a popinjay.

Such masculinity as he possessed was boyish rather than adult and the most important ingredients of his nature were feminine. He was surprisingly tall. His face was pink and round, with blue eyes, a short nose and very red lips. He made up for an absence of eyebrows by a firm little brown moustache clipped very short and brushed upwards at its extremities

Georgie took a special interest in his appearance and had a fondness for capes, Oxford bags, spats and hats. He was fastidious in the choice of fashionable clothing (daring to team a mustard coloured cape with a blue tam o' shanter, not to mention a fur trimmed cape and bright blue beret, worn a little sideways on his head) and in the care and dressing of his auburn toupet. It was generally known - even to new acquaintances such as Quaint Irene Coles - that Georgie died his greying hair. After a painful attack of shingles, which rendered him house-bound for some time, Georgie grew a beard which he was persuaded to retain, trimmed into a stylishly neat Vandyck goatee.

The only disadvantage of Georgie's beard appeared to be that it rendered him irresistible to the barbophilic Poppy, Duchess of Sheffield whom he encountered in Olga Bracely's box at the opera in London, in Tilling and whilst a guest at Olga's house party at Le Touquet. Georgie found her advances tarsome but retained his virtue, if not his dignity.

In his blameless 45 years, Georgie had never flirted with anyone. He had never been the least in love with Lucia, but somehow she had been as absorbing as any wayward and entrancing mistress.

His many interests were artistic and mainly shared with Lucia. After the death of Lucia's husband, Georgie mused "Never, never shall she get me. I couldn't possibly marry her and I won't. I want to live quietly and do my sewing and my sketching, and see lots of Lucia, and play any amount of duets with her, but not marry her. Pray God she doesn't want me to!" Of course, only time would tell!

He was the more talented pianist of the two and generously allowed Lucia the more interesting and less diffy treble part in their frequent piano duets - which each practised secretly in advance but normally claimed to be sight-reading for the first time.

He and Lucia indulged in baby talk and peppered their conversation with easy phrases in Italian. Neither discouraged the entirely incorrect assumption that they were fluent in la bella lingua.

He was a keen bridge player, a capable needle-person and produced creditably tidy and careful watercolours, mainly landscapes. When Lucia tried to persuade Quaint Irene to encourage Georgie in his painting, Irene replied "Of course, I'll do my best if you want me to, but it will be hard work to find beauty in Georgie's little valentines."

Normally mild of manner, when irritated he might go so far as to exclaim How tarsome! His mother had been a Bartlett - and second cousin to her late husband - which meant Lady Ambermere was well disposed towards him.

He relied entirely upon his peerless housemaid Foljambe and enjoyed a domestic life which gave time for various hobbies including caring personally for his treasured bibelots and passing enthusiasms, such as yoga, planchette and cycling.

He appeared as Drake in the Riseholme May Day Pageant directed by Lucia - after suffering much bruising to the shoulder from heavy-handed rehearsals of knighting by Daisy Quantock - and in a number of roles in various impromptu tableaux also devised by Lucia.

In addition to Lucia, Georgie was devoted to prima donna Olga Bracely with whom he enjoyed an intimate platonic friendship, again with the entire approval of her husband Mr Shuttleworth. Lucia did not fear any temperamental disturbance from her husband's "high regard" for Olga; Georgie's passions were not volcanic, but there was glitter and glamour in opera houses and prima donnas which might upset him if he was unchaperoned.

Georgie was gentle in all his ways, and his manner of falling in love was very gentle too. Georgie admired Olga immensely, he found her stimulating and amusing, he would have enjoyed next best to that being her brother. He was devoted to her with a warmth that his supposed devotion to Lucia had ever kindled in him; he even went so far as to dream about her in an agitated though respectful manner.

Georgie was entrusted with a good deal of the work entailed in the semi-independent supervision decorating and furnishing Old Place on its secret acquisition by Olga Bracely and was uncharacteristically and painfully discreet in carrying out his duties on her behalf - which serves as a measure of his devotion.

After the death of Lucia's husband Pepino, Georgie accompanied Lucia to Tilling where he joined in the local society he enjoyed so much and rented and subsequently purchased Mallards Cottage. He became very much the jeune premier in social circles at Tilling as he had been in Riseholme, smart , beautifully dressed and going to more tea parties than anybody else.

Georgie unselfishly assumed responsibility for Lucia's household and servants during the lengthy period after she had been washed out to sea with Miss Mapp and erected a touching, if presumptuous, cenotaph in their memory in the church yard at Tilling.

During the period during which Lucia was "lost at sea" on a trawler on the Gallagher Banks, Georgie experienced what life was like without Lucia. There was nothing to look forward to, and he realised how completely Lucia and her manoeuvres and her indomitable vitality and her deceptions and her greatnessess supplied salt to his life. He had never been the least in love with her, but somehow she had been as absorbing as any wayward and entrancing mistress.

After a very decent interval, he and Lucia grew even closer and decided to marry on the strict understanding that no intimacy need ever evolve.

Foljambe married Lucia's chauffeur Cadman and a satisfactory division of responsibilities was cordially agreed between Foljambe and Lucia's servant Grosvenor; in this way, ongoing domestic harmony was guaranteed at Mallards House.

Georgie undertook his duties as the consort of Lucia as mayor of Tilling well but was unsuccessful when standing against Mrs Elizabeth Mapp-Flint for election to the town council. Typically, he found the loss tarsome, but bore it magnanimously .

On the return of Olga Bracely from her world tour and following the loss of her husband, her friendship with Georgie flourished. He thrilled to see her perform Lucretia again and begin work on Diane de Poictiers and enjoyed her company in Riseholme, Tilling and Le Touquet. Whilst he continued to adore Olga and despite his occasional irritations with Lucia's mounting pretensions as Mayor of Tilling, he remained Lucia's loyal partner .

Georgie and Per ~ cheerful brothers who were respectively the foreman of the gas works and town surveyor, known to Lucia following investigations into the origin of the smell in the garden room at Mallards House.

They invited Lucia to visit Tilling cricket club and following her donations to fund the levelling and relaying of the pitch promoted her election as President of both Tilling's cricket and football clubs.

15 Gerald Street ~ the flat of Princess Popoffski (real name Marie Lowenstein, fraudulent medium) was stated in court, as reported in Todds News, to be at 15 Gerald Steet, a quiet side-street off the Charing Cross Road. See Princess Popoffski and Daisy Quantock.

Giaconda ~ the Italian Ambassadress. Attended the first night of Cortese's opera "Lucretia" in London and Olga Bracely's party afterwards. A member of the social circle into which Lucia propelled herself during her London season.

Giardino segreto, secret garden ~ the secret garden at Mallards was bounded by hedging and accessed by an archway. It was only overlooked from the very top of the tower of the nearby Norman church. It boasted a little paved walk round it, flower beds, a pocket handkerchief of a lawn and, in the middle, a pillar with a bust of good Queen Anne, picked up by Miss Mapp in a shop in Tilling for a song.

Gielgud, John ~ when Lucia was planning her series of improving lectures to be given at Tilling's Literary Institute, she intended always to entertain the the lecturer and a few friends to a plain supper party afterwards when the discussion could be continued in the garden room. She intended to ask some distinguished expert on the subject to come down and stay the night after each lecture: the Bishop when the Padre lectured on Free-Will: Mr Gielgud when she spoke about Shakespearean technique. Sadly it appears Mr Gielgud was unable to accept the invitation.

From the famous Terry acting dynasty, Sir Arthur John Gielgud (1904-2000) was the leading Shakespearean actor of his generation and an accomplished director and producer. His Hamlet broke box-office records on Broadway in 1936-7. He set a precedent in establishing a company of brilliant actors such as Redgrave, Ashcroft and Guinness to present classics ranging from Shakespeare to Chekhov and played a significant part in the shaping of future institutions such as the RSC and National Theatre. Perhaps his greatest of many accomplishments was his expressive delivery of Shakespearean verse, which Sir Alec Guinness called a silver trumpet muffled in silk. Had he been available, he may even have been able to demonstrate more insight upon the subject of Shakespearean technique than Lucia. See Desmond McCarthy, Noel Coward and Sir Henry Wood.

Girlie ~ name which Major Benjy was wont to call his new bride, Elizabeth, even in company. See Liz.

Glazonov's "Bacchanal" ~ Lucia had been pondering the possibility of instituting The Royal Fish Express to supply fish from Tilling for the Royal Court in London to a sceptical Georgie. Eventually, she said, "But I've had a busy day: let us relax a little and make music in the garden room. I saw today in one of my old bound up volumes of duets, an arrangement for four hands of Glazonov's" Bacchanal". It looked rather attractive. We might run through it."

Russian composer, teacher and conductor, Alexander Konstantinovich Glazonov or Glazunov (1865 - 1936) held leading posts in the conservatories in St Petersburg, Petrograd and Leningrad and left the Soviet Union in 1928, never to return. An early student was Dmitri Shostakovich. Glazonov's ballet "The Seasons" (1901) comprised four tableaux, each representing a season. Autumn begins with a rousing bacchanal, representing a drunken revel to celebrate the grape harvest. Whether Lucia would have considered such riotousness an entirely proper subject for performance by the Mayor-elect of Tilling, we shall never know.

Gnosticism ~ when Daisy Quantock first met Princess Popoffski, the Princess wore some very curious rings, with large engraved amethysts and torquoises in them. Mrs Quantock asked if those finger ornaments had any mystical signification. They had:   one was Gnostic, one was Rosicrucian, and the other was Cabalistic.

"Gnosticism" derived from the Greek adjective gnostikos: learned or intellectual, covers a set of beliefs and practices prevalent in creeds ranging from early Christianity and Hellenistic Judaism to Zoroastrianism and Neoplatanism. Some authorities hold that Irenaeus first described the school of Valentinus as "the heresy called Learned (or 'gnostic')." According to some, the term "gnosticism" does not appear in ancient sources, but was coined by Henry More in a commentary on the "Book of Revelation," describing the heresy in Thyatira. Gnosticism apparently expresses a specific religious experience that does not normally lend itself to expression via philosophy or theology, but instead through myth; in fact, most Gnostic scriptures take the form of myths, whose truths differ from the dogmas of theology or philosophical statements. Gnostic or pseudo-gnostic ideas influenced sundry esoteric European and North American mystical movements in the 19th and 20th centuries with the common teaching that the realisation of the intuitive knowledge of gnosis was the way of salvation of the soul from the material world. It seems to have impressed Princess Popoffski sufficiently to demostrate her affinity to gnosticism by way of one of her fistful of rings. See Cabalistic and Rosicrucian, Daisy Quantock and Princess Popoffski.

Goethe ~ when discussing practical arrangements for their life together after marriage, Georgie and Lucia agreed they each required some private time alone each day to pursue their own interests. Lucia remarked, "A period of solitude every day is necessary for me. Is it not Goethe who says that we ripen in solitude?"     On another occasion, whilst complaining about London, Lucia remarks, "it is only in loneliness, as Goethe says, that perceptions put forth their flowers"

Although the precise translation has escaped me, I have noted the following apercu in the same vein by Goethe, which must be something like what Lucia had in mind: "A creation of importance can only be produced when its author isolates himself. It is a child of solitude."

Considered one of the most important thinkers in Western culture, the German writer and polymath, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832) produced work in poetry, literature, theology, philosophy and science. Dramatic works include his magnum opus, "Faust."

Golden Hind ~ central location placed in part upon the ducking pond on the village Green in Riseholme for the knighting of Sir Francis Drake in the May Day Elizabethan Pageant. Unfortunately the ship caught fire during the spit roasting of a sheep on deck and collapsed into the pond in the ensuing conflagration. See ducking pond.

Golf ~ in Riseholme golf was introduced by Daisy Quantock who began with clock golf and putting and progressed to golf over at least nine holes. As so often happened her lead was followed by her neighbours including the vicar and his wife, the curate, Colonel Boucher, Georgie, Mrs Antrobus (who discarded her ear trumpet for these athletics and could never hear you call "Fore") and Piggy and Goosie. Often Mrs Boucher was wheeled down in her bath chair and applauded the beautiful puts made on the last green.

Daisy started instruction classes on golf in her garden open to all, including Lucia. Lucia surreptitiously took further private golf lessons and arranged to be co-opted with Georgie onto the Committee of the local golf club, with herself as President. She was soon a much better player than Daisy whose short reign as Queen of Golf came to an end: the natural order of things was thus restored. In her heart Lucia utterly despised golf. When she realised it would be politic to learn the game, she thought "I shall have to take to golf. What a bore! Such a foolish game." However, she planned to use her mastery of golf as the stunt she could use to restore her hold on Riseholme - and so it proved.

In Tilling, golf was mainly the preserve of the menfolk - apart from Georgie. Major Flint played on most mornings with his friend Captain Puffin, usually catching the steam tram to the links. Their rounds were always for a wager and invariably argumentative; they were sadly missed by Major Flint following the tragic drowning of his old friend in a bowl of oxtail soup.

When she was disappointed in the cowardice, she considered had been demonstrated by both Major Flint and Captain Puffin in running away from their impending duel to catch the early train, Elizabeth Mapp remarked scornfully, "They fled from each other, and came back together and played golf. I never thought it was a game for men."

After the death of Captain puffin, Major Flint played regularly with the Padre and even attempted to teach his soon-to-be-wife, Elizabeth Mapp, though her grasp of the game was as tenuous as her grip upon what she persisted in calling the golf sticks.

Goths and Vandals ~ Tilling resident and artist, Quaint Irene Coles, met Lucia in the street and complained, "Lucia, beloved one. It's too cruel! That lousy Town Surveying Department refuses to sanction my fresco design of Venus rising from the sea..Goths and Vandals and Mrs Grundys to a man and woman!"

The modern usage of "vandal" as someone who engages in senseless destruction stems from the East Germanic tribe, the Vandals sacking of Rome in AD 455 under Genseric: John Dryden wrote "Till Goths and Vandals, a rude northern race , Did all the matchless Monuments deface."

The Ostrogoth King and Visigoth Regent, Theoderic was allied by marriage with the Vandals as well as the Bergundians and Franks. Although they weer probably no more destructive than other invaders of the times ,the Goths and Vandals had a particularly bad press from those who idealized Rome and its culture. See Mrs Grundy.

Gramophone ~ all Riseholme knew Lucia's frequently voiced opinion about gramophones: to the lover of Beethoven they were like indecent or profane language loudly used in a public place. Before the advent of Olga Bracely, so far as was known, only one such hellish instrument had ever come to Riseholme, introduced by a misguided Robert Quantock. Lucia's look of agony when he turned it on ensured that he had to stop it immediately. Failing to notice Lucia's protracted wincing, Olga Bracely blithely made her large gramophone central to her popular evening romps at Old Place and made fullest and loudest use if it for dancing and energetic games, such as musical chairs.

Greatorex, Eric ~ famous pianist, renowned interpreter of the works of Stravinsky. Whilst weekending at the country home of Adele Brixton, came upon Lucia in the music room at the piano. After treating the virtuoso to her rendition of the slow movement of the Moonlight Sonata, Lucia offered and delivered a little morsel of Stravinski.

Also witnessed by Adele Brixton, this was a longish morsel, too: more like a meal than a morsel , and it was also remarkably like a muddle. It ended in a final optimistic attempt at the double chromatic scale in divergent directions. Eventually, after sharing her views upon Stravinski with his greatest interpreter, including a diversion upon the manner in which the Post-Cubists represented the Stravinski school, it dawned upon Lucia that her male listener was Mr Greatorex whom she then persuaded to sit down instantly and magically restore to life what I have just murdered.

Later that night Lucia commented to Adele, Marcia and Aggie, that "when Eric Greatorex -so charming of him - played those delicious pieces of Stravinski to me before dinner, I felt I was stepping over some sort of frontier into Stravinski. Eric made out my passport. A multiplication of experience: I think that is what I mean."

None of those present could have said with any precision what Lucia meant, but the general drift seemed to be that "an hour with a burglar or cannibal was valuable for the amplification of the soul." See Dalrymple, Diva

Grebe ~ attractive white house with character and dignity skirting the low-lying marsh land between Tilling and the sea. It had a nice garden sheltered from the north wind by the cliff behind which had once been the coast-line before the marshes were drained and reclaimed. Although down on the level it boasted a divine, broad and tranquil view.

Quaint Irene's temporary summer-let cottage adjoined its garden. Irene offered to paint and decorate Grebe with her own hands and recommended as a scheme for the music room a black ceiling and four walls of different colours, vermilion, emerald green, ultramarine and yellow. She proposed the use of costly lapis lazuli for the ultramarine wall, but assured Lucia that the result would be unique and marvellously stimulating to the eye, especially if she would add a magenta carpet and nickel-plated fireplace. This scheme and other proposals, including egg- shaped and triangular windows and a front door that, instead of opening sideways, let down like a portcullis, were tactfully rejected by Lucia.

It was close to a road which did not lead anywhere in particular, but was not overlooked, for a thick hedge of hornbeam made a fine screen.

Its rooms were of good dimension with a hall and dining room on the ground floor, a broad staircase leading up to the first floor where there were two or three bedrooms and a long sitting room with four windows looking across the road to the meadows and the high bank bounding the river. Beyond lay the great empty levels of the marsh with the hill of Tilling rising out of it half a mile away to the west.

The kitchen and offices were in a wing by themselves. Here again there was character for the kitchen had been a coach house and still retained big double doors. It fronted a cinder path and beds of vegetables.

Originally owned and occupied by Lucia on moving to the area and subsequently by Major Benjamin and Mrs Mapp Flint, formerly of Mallards, in Tilling.

Grebe was prone to flooding on failure of the high sea defence banks immediately opposite and did so on more than one occasion. See Widow of a Baronet.

Greele, Miss ~ dressmaker in the High Street in Tilling, of whom Miss Mapp was a customer.

Grellet, Stephen ~ French-born Quaker minister (1773 - 1855) who reputedly wrote " I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good thing, therefore, that I can do or kindness I can show any fellow human being let me do it now. Let me not defer of neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." See Kingsley, Charles.

Grocer's wife ~ the wife of the grocer in Riseholme was selected to play Drake's wife in the Elizabethan Pageant. The role only required Mrs Drake (soon to be Lady Drake) to come forward for one moment, curtsy and disappear and the grocer's wife was rather slack at her attendance of rehearsals. The role was originally offered by Daisy Quantock to Lucia and disdainfully rejected. Ironically, it was ultimately ineptly played by Daisy herself whilst Lucia triumphed as Good Queen Bess.

Grosvenor ~ Lucia's dependable servant in Riseholme and Tilling. See William and Mary.

Grundy, Mrs or Grundy's ~ Tilling artist, Quaint Irene Coles approached Lucia in the street: "Lucia, beloved one. It's too cruel! That lousy Town surveying Department refuses to sanction my fresco-design of Venus rising from the sea...Goths and Vandals and Mrs Grundys to a man and woman!"

Later, when Quaint Irene had Victorianised the design, using the figure of Elizabeth Mapp-Flint as shown in the photograph that appeared in the "Hampshire Argus", the artist remarked, "I've a good mind to send it to the Royal Academy instead of making a fresco of it. Just to punish the lousy Grundy's of Tilling" - which is exactly what she did.

Mrs Grundy was a character in Thomas Morton's play "Speed the Plough" (1789) as the personification of the tyranny of conventional propriety -and thus the antithesis of Quaint Irene's bohemian ideal. Grundyism became eponymous with priggishness or extreme conventionality. See Goths and Vandals.

Guardian Angel ~ Miss Mapp kept a very close eye on the nocturnal activities of her near neighbours Major Benjy and Captain Puffin. Their lights burning late into the night were eventually discovered not to signify long scholarly poring over old diaries or maps of Roman roads but the consumption of considerable volumes of whisky by the fireside. After several glasses her neighbours were wont to refer not to their Guardian Angel but Old Mappy. See Old Mappy

Guru ~ Indian teacher of yoga who came to stay with Daisy Quantock in Riseholme and latterly with Lucia at the Hurst who ran him as her August stunt.

The Guru sported a tropical complexion, black beard, saffron-yellow robe, violently green girdle, chocolate-coloured stockings, short pink socks and red slippers. He ran classes which popularised yoga in Riseholme.

The Guru declined to give his name, indicating that his religion forbade this. He was initially understood to be a Brahmin of the highest caste and extraordinary sanctity from Benares but actually originated in Madras. He returned to his room to avoid meeting Lady Ambermere at Lucia's garden party since Lord and Lady Ambermere had governed there and he was frightened that she might recognise him. He only reappeared at the party when Lady Ambermere and her people had left.

The Guru was subsequently found to be a hard-drinking curry cook and burglar. He disappeared from Riseholme after being recognised by Hermy and Ursy Pillson as the brilliant but bibulous cook from the Calcutta Restaurant in Bedford Street where they often lunched. He left behind many empty brandy bottles and having stolen valuable items from the homes of Lucia, Georgie Pillson and Daisy Quantock. To save face over their gullibility, no mention was subsequently made of the Guru's failings.

In retrospect, many clues were evident much earlier as to the true personality and interests of the Guru, from the brandy ordered from Mr Rush to the regular sounds of drink-induced snoring rather than meditation emanating from his room, the extreme eagerness to help out the pretty parlour maid in her duties and the silk pajamas belonging to her husband which the Guru thought Daisy Quantock had given him and which Robert Quantock didn't think so at all.

As mentioned above, the Guru's flight to conceal himself in "Hamlet" during Lucia's garden party to avoid Lady Ambermere showed plainly that he had something to hide: it would never do to appear as a high caste Brahmin from Benares before anyone who knew India and it's races at all, for he might not correspond with her recollections of such gentlemen. This evidence, in addition to the Guru's skill in producing a delicious curry from hardly any ingredients, always seemed to point more towards the drunken curry cook than spiritual guide.